It was amazing how easy it turned out to be. “Kenny, you idiot,” I said in my strongest voice, “I don’t have any idea how you can think you’re superior to anyone. You don’t have the intelligence God gave gravel. You’ve accomplished nothing in your life. You have no redeeming personality traits whatsoever.” I picked up a can of roach spray and pointed it at him. “You’re a good-for-nothing asshole. Now get the hell out of our room, before I spray you like the cockroach you are.”
“Fine!” he yelled. “I’ll leave you with your darkie roommate and your dog of a nurse, and you’ll get what you deserve! And I’m never coming back, either!”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” I said.
Jim spoke up. “ ’Bye, Henny Penny Kenny.”
Kenny made another strangled noise of rage. When he slammed the door, the sound echoed down the hall. Jim and I sat silently for a minute.
“I apologize for my idiot nephew’s insults,” I said.
“It’s not your fault,” Jim said. “You handled it very well.”
I went over to my desk and picked up the virtual helmet and its assorted electronic components. Quite deliberately, I went over to the trash can and dropped all of the stuff into it. It made a loud clatter as it hit dead center.
“What are you up to, James?” Jim asked.
“I’m throwing away my sight experiment,” I replied.
“What! You’ve almost got it working!”
“I know. But my idiot nephew just showed me what those poor sighted bastards get from having vision. Your eyes don’t give you more information—they just dazzle you so that you can’t see what matters. I don’t want any part of that.”
Jim chuckled ruefully. “You’re a complex man, James. And, I might add, very wise.”
I didn’t think of it as wise. I just thought of how stupid Kenny was. Imagine, thinking less of a guy like Jim, just because of something I couldn’t even sense! What an idiot my nephew was! And what an idiot I’d been, wasting my life wishing I had something so thoroughly useless.
I headed for the door and opened it.
“Where are you going?” Jim asked.
“I’m just going to talk to Rachel,” I said. Henny Penny Kenny might have thought she was unattractive, but I knew she was beautiful. I stepped outside and started to close the door.
“James!” Jim called.
“Yeah?”
He chuckled again, this time approvingly. “If she says ‘yes’, I get to be best man.”
I laughed. “You already are,” I told him, and went to find my beautiful Rachel.