When he saw that she was finally asleep, he sat down at her small desk. For some time the only sound in the room was the scratch of a pen moving across paper. When he was done, he read what he had written.
My dear Noelle,
I said we were poisoning each other and tonight has proved the ugly truth of those words. What has happened has convinced me that we can't remain together any longer. I will arrange for your passage back to England and see that you're provided for.
I'm not asking your forgiveness, because I know you won't be able to give it. The only way I can begin to make amends is to give you the freedom you've always wanted, and so I will contact my attorney about a divorce. Now that we're in America, it should not be difficult. You'll soon be free to marry Brandt if you wish. He's a good man and will take better care of you than I have.
I received a message from Wasidan today and must go to Washington. I won't see you again.
Quinn
He folded the letter in half and leaned it on the mantelpiece. Then he kissed her closed lids in farewell and left the room.
PART FIVE
Noelle
Chapter Thirty-seven
"Noelle, forgive me for calling so early in the morning. I had to see you."
She felt a stab of guilt as she walked into the drawing room. The last time she had seen Wolf, he was lying unconscious on the floor. But not until minutes ago, when Grace had told her he was downstairs, had she spared him a moment's thought.
He took a step toward her, and she saw the swollen purple bruise. "Oh, Wolf, your jaw!"
"It is nothing. You are the one I am concerned about. Are you all right?"
She drew a tremulous breath. "No, I-I'm afraid I'm not." Her hand shook as she held out Quinn's letter. "Read this."
Wolf took it from her and carried it over to the window. He skimmed the page and then went back to the beginning and read it through again, more carefully. When he was done, he looked at Noelle, standing like a marble statue next to the fireplace, and saw how pale she was, how painfully fragile in her misery.
Walking over to her, he handed back the letter. "Is the thought of never seeing him again so horrible to you?"
"Oh, Wolf, I can't hide from it anymore. I love him."
"Does he know?"
"I told him last night, but he didn't believe me."
"Do you want this divorce?"
"I don't know what I want anymore. Last night I wanted to kill him. Then I wanted to die. This morning, I…" Her words trailed off. She made a series of small, tight pleats in the letter and then thrust it deep in her pocket. "He raped me, Wolf. But now there's no rage left inside me, only sadness and bitterness. Somehow I can't get rid of the notion that it was himself he was punishing, not me."
"Do as he says, Noelle. Get your divorce and marry me. I will give you the life you deserve."
"How could I do that to you!" she cried. "You're not a man to settle for second best, and one day you'd grow bitter."
Brandt had known that this would be her answer. Still, he would make one last effort before he gave up the dream of having her. Cupping her chin in his hand, he kissed her gently. "I am willing to take that risk, my darling."
"But I'm not," she said softly. "I care too much for you to hurt you like that."
Wolf trailed a finger down her cheek and then walked resignedly over to one of the lemon-yellow settees. "He loves you, you know."
"You're wrong!" she cried. "He detests me."
"No, my darling. At the moment, he detests only himself. To him, loving is a weakness to be conquered. Quinn can tolerate weakness in others, but never in himself. My sister understands this about him. In many ways, she understands him better than you."
"And she'll be here to comfort him when he returns," Noelle snapped.
"No, she will not. Come sit down next to me, my darling. I am about to do something noble, and it will be easier for me if you're close by."
She looked at him quizzically and then did as he asked.
"I have not been entirely honest with you, partly from loyalty to my sister and partly from my own selfishness because I wanted you for myself. But now I think it is only fair to tell you that Quinn did not send for Anna and that they have not slept together since she arrived."
"I don't believe you. Anna told me herself that-"
"She lied to you." Wolf caught Noelle's hand and held it tight. "I am taking Anna away with me. We leave for Savannah tomorrow and then for France next week. I promise you, you will not have to worry about my sister again."
Noelle looked at him incredulously, trying to take in what he was saying. "Why are you doing this? She will hate you."
"Even my sister must someday bow to the inevitable, and I will not permit her to destroy herself any longer. When she is no longer angry, she will realize I am right. Anna is a realist, you see, and she already knows that Quinn loves you." He stood and gazed down at her. "I must go now."
Not trusting herself to speak, Noelle held out her hand, and he brushed it with his lips. "Auf Wiedersehen. Good-bye, my beautiful swan."
Later that evening. Dainty clucked her tongue in disapproval as she set a basket of eggs on the kitchen table ready for tomorrow morning's breakfast. "I don't like it one bit, Miz Copeland. A man's supposed to be with his wife, not galavantin' all over God's creation."
"It's not for you to like or dislike, Dainty Jones, and I'm sure you've xxx eavesdropped enough in this household to understand why Mr. Copeland is needed in Washington. Now, I'm going to bed!" Noelle stalked from the kitchen, banging the door behind her.
Dainty shook her head sadly as she took a last swipe at the table with her dishtowel. That young 'un needs some tendin' to, she thought to herself. And ain't no cook in the world can give it. No siree. it's her husband she needs!
When Noelle reached her room, she pulled a small valise from the back of her wardrobe and resolutely placed it on the bed. She would go to Savannah now-tonight. Later she would send for the rest of her things. The longer she put off leaving Televea, the more difficult it would be for her. Wolf was wrong. Quinn didn't love her. He had raped her, hadn't he? A man did not rape a woman he loved.
She packed the valise quickly, not giving herself time to think or to feel. When she was done, she fastened the straps and started toward the door to call for Nathan. But as she passed the fireplace something caught her eye.
There on the mantelpiece near the spot where she had found Quinn's note lay the disk of beaten silver that he always wore around his neck, the disk that had once been Amanda's. Slowly she picked it up and cradled it in the palm of her hand. The metal was cold. Tears she had refused to give into all day now began to fall freely. She knew how much this necklace meant to Quinn, and yet he had left it for her. Was it possible that he did love her? Or was this merely his way of telling her how sorry he was?
Long after the house was quiet and the servants were asleep, Noelle was still awake. She sat in her bedroom, fully dressed, the necklace lying in her lap. Finally she picked it up and slipped it around her neck. As she tucked it inside her dress the siiver disk slid down between her breasts, where the metal nestled, warm and comfortable.
Slowly she walked to the bed and unfastened the straps of her valise. For the past three years of her life, all the good and all the bad were tied to one man. If she left now, she would never be at peace with herself because she would never know the truth. When she returned to England, it must be with the certain knowledge that Quinn did not love her.
She had nearly finished unpacking when she heard a pounding at the front door. Uneasily she glanced at the clock. It was well past midnight. Who could be calling at this hour? As she hurried down the stairs she met Nathan coming from the back of the house, hastily pushing his arms into the sleeves of an old robe. He reached the door before her and opened it.