Chapter 13
When Alex got Coop's message, she called him back half an hour later. She'd been busy doing paperwork on a new intake, and after that they had another new admission, a preemie with a heart valve problem. It was presumably reparable, but the baby needed close supervision. And she sounded busy and distracted when she called him.
“Hi, what's doing?”
“Busy morning?” He was nervous, but he didn't want her to know it. Suddenly, he realized how much she meant to him, and not just because of her fortune. He genuinely didn't want to hurt her, or lose her.
“Not too busy. Things are moving, but they're not insane yet.” She seemed to be in full control of what she was doing, but she was always happy to hear from him, and to chat with him, when she had a minute. It had been nice of him to call her.
“Have you got time for a quick lunch?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“I'm sorry, Coop. I can't get out of here. I'm the senior resident in charge here. I'm stuck for the duration.” She was on duty until the following morning. “I can't leave the building.”
“You don't have to. Why don't I come by for a cup of coffee?”
“Sure, that would be fine, if you don't mind my being stuck here. Is something wrong?” He sounded all right, but he had never offered to come by the hospital before. She wondered if he missed her.
“No, I just wanted to see you.” The way he said it almost made her nervous. He had said he'd come by at noon, and as soon as she hung up, an emergency distracted her. She was still tying up loose ends and signing forms when the technician at the front desk told her there was someone to see her.
“Is that who I think it is?” the woman asked when she called Alex in her office. Her voice was filled with wonder, and Alex laughed as she answered.
“I guess so.”
“Damn, he's pretty,” she said admiringly, just out of his earshot, and Alex smiled as she put down her papers.
“Yes, he is. Tell him I'll be right there.” It was a good time to take a break, and she hurried out in her scrubs with her white coat over it. She was wearing socks and clogs, with her stethoscope at a crazy angle around her neck, and a pair of rubber gloves hanging out of her pocket. She was wearing her hair pulled back in a braid, and as usual, she never bothered to wear makeup when she was working. She looked like a teenager in costume as she hurried out to see him.
“Hi, Coop,” she said breezily, with a big smile, as people hanging around the ICU tried to stare at him discreetly. She was used to it by now, and he looked as impeccable as ever, in a tweed sport jacket and a beige turtleneck, with perfectly pressed khaki slacks and brown suede loafers. He looked like he'd stepped out of a fashion magazine and she felt like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards.
She told the tech at the front desk that she was going to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, and to page her if they needed her. “If I'm lucky, they might even give me ten uninterrupted minutes.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and he put an arm around her as they got into the elevator to go to the basement. Alex smiled as the doors closed and she saw everyone staring at them. He was quite a vision. “You just increased my importance around here by about four thousand percent. You look terrific.” He pulled her closer to him affectionately as she said it.
“So do you. You look very official with all that stuff hanging off you.” She was wearing her pager, her stethoscope, and there was a clamp she had forgotten clipped to her pocket. The tools of her trade made her look more like a grown-up. Or if it was a Halloween costume, it was a very good one. It impressed him to see her there, and the easy way she had breezed past the desk and instructed one of the nurses before she addressed him. She was really something. Which made him even more nervous as he contemplated what he was about to tell her. He had no way of knowing what her reaction would be. But he knew he had to tell her before someone else did. Thanks to Charlene, things could get dicey.
They both selected sandwiches and put them on a tray, and Alex poured them each a cup of coffee. “This stuff is pretty dangerous,” she warned him, pointing to the coffee. “Legend has it there's rat poison in it, and I believe them. I'll take you over to the ER after lunch, if you think you need it.”
“Thank God you're a doctor,” he said, as he paid for their lunch, and followed her to a small corner table. Mercifully, there was no one else around them, and no one seemed to have recognized him in the cafeteria so far. He wanted a few minutes of peace with her. And she was already eating her sandwich, before he had unwrapped his. He took a few minutes to assemble his composure, and she saw that his hands were shaking when he poured sugar in his coffee.
“What's up, Coop?” She was calm and quiet and sympathetic, and her eyes were gentle.
“Nothing… no… that's not true… something came up this morning.” She watched his eyes as she waited for him to explain it. She could see now that he was worried. He hadn't touched either his sandwich or his coffee.
“Something bad?”
“Something annoying. I wanted to talk to you about it.” She couldn't even begin to imagine what it was. His eyes told her nothing. He took a breath, and launched into what he feared would rapidly become troubled waters. “I've done a few foolish things in my life, Alex. Not many, but some. And I've had a very good time most of the time. I haven't hurt anyone. I generally play on a level playing field, with people who understand the ground rules.” As he said it, she began to panic. She felt sure he was about to tell her it was over between them. This sounded like the introduction. She had been there before, but not in a very long time. She hadn't allowed herself to care about anyone since then. Until Cooper. She had been falling for him since she met him. And now this sounded like a farewell speech. She sat back in her chair and watched him. If nothing else, she was going to take her lumps with dignity and courage. And he could see that she was backing off as he watched her. It was self-protection. But he continued. He had to. “I've never taken advantage of anyone. I don't mislead women. Most of the people I've gotten involved with did so with their eyes open. I've made a few mistakes, but generally, I have a pretty clear slate. No casualties, no victims. And when it's over, it's been goodbye and thank you, on both sides. As far as I know, no one hates me. Most of the people I've been involved with like me, and I like them. And the mistakes have been short-lived and quickly corrected.”
“And now? Is this a mistake, Coop?” She wondered if he was correcting it now, and she had to fight back tears as she listened, but he looked shocked when she asked the question.
“Us? Of course not! Is that what you think I'm saying? Oh, baby… this isn't about us. This is about something stupid I did before I met you.” She looked immensely relieved as he held her hands and continued. “I'll try to get through this quickly,” particularly if there was a chance they might get interrupted. That would be awful. He had to tell her. “I went out with a young woman shortly before we met. I probably shouldn't have. She's a simple girl, an aspiring actress, and her only roles so far have been in porn videos and trade shows. She doesn't have a lot going for her, but I thought she was a sweet girl, and we were both playing. She knew the ground rules. She's not an innocent. She's been around the block more than a few times. I never misled her. I never pretended to care about her. It was a sexual interlude for both of us, and nothing more, and it ended very quickly. Even I can't stay involved for long with a woman I can't talk to. It seemed like a very simple thing, and completely harmless.”