“And?” Alex couldn't stand the suspense. Clearly, he wasn't telling her he was in love with the girl, but what was he saying?
“She called this morning. She's pregnant.”
“Shit,” Alex said simply, but with a feeling of immense relief. “At least it's not terminal. She can fix that.” She was enormously relieved that he wasn't telling her he was in love with the woman, and she smiled reassuringly at Coop, who felt like a thousand-pound weight had been taken off his shoulders. She hadn't stood up and walked out, or told him she never wanted to see him again, but she also didn't know the whole story.
“That's the other half of the problem. She wants to have the baby.”
“Now that is a nasty little problem. But I can see why it would appeal to her. Celebrity baby. Is she blackmailing you, Coop?” Alex was practical, intelligent, and perceptive, which made it easier to talk to her than he'd expected.
“More or less. She wants money. She says in her line of work, she can't work while she's pregnant. I guess they don't do porn videos with pregnant women,” he said grimly, and Alex squeezed his hands to give him comfort. “She wants me to support her and the baby. I told her I don't want a baby, hers or anyone else's … except yours possibly,” he amended with a rueful smile. He felt utterly foolish to be confessing all this to her, but he had wanted to make a clean breast of it to Alex. “I didn't tell her about you, or she'd really be up in arms. She already was. She sounds crazy. One minute she's crying, the next she's threatening, and then she's talking in saccharine tones about ‘our baby’ Nauseating, and somewhat terrifying. I have no idea what she's going to do, or if she'll actually have the baby. Or call the tabloids. She's a loose cannon, and she's fully loaded, if you'll pardon the pun. I sent her a check to pay for an abortion, but that's all I'm willing to do for the moment, and I said so. The entire affair lasted three weeks. It shouldn't have happened at all. I should have known better at my age. But I was bored, and she was amusing. But what's happening now is definitely not amusing,” he said, looking remorseful. “I'm so sorry, Alex, to bring this mess into our lives. But I wanted to tell you. I thought you had a right to know, particularly if she goes to the tabloids. She could do that. They'd love it.”
“So would she probably,” Alex said, sounding sympathetic. “Are you sure she's pregnant? She might just be trying to see what she can get out of you. She doesn't sound like a very nice person.”
“She isn't. I don't know if she's really pregnant or not, or even if it's mine. I wore protection, but to give you the ugly details, it broke on one occasion. I guess from her perspective, she got lucky.” At least he knew it hadn't been a setup, just the fates conspiring against him.
“You can have DNA tests eventually, particularly if she's willing to do amnio. They can test her then. But that's a way down the road. How pregnant is she?”
“I think she said two months or something.”
He and Alex had been together for six weeks, so he was being truthful when he said he'd been involved with her right before Alex. Right before. Like two weeks before, or less. But Alex reminded herself that what he had done before her was none of her business.
“What are you going to do, Coop?” Alex asked, still holding his hands in hers. She loved the fact that he'd been honest with her, and if anything, she felt closer to him. She knew that these things happened. Particularly in his world, to men who were celebrities and were easy targets for extortion and blackmail and greed.
“I don't know yet. There's nothing much I can do for the moment, except wait and see what she does. I just wanted to warn you that there could be a land mine down the road for us, if she goes public with it.”
“Would you marry her if she has the baby?” Alex asked, looking worried.
“Are you crazy? There's no way. I hardly know her. And other than great legs, and other similar attributes, what I do know, I don't like.” At least not anymore. “I'm not in love with her, never was, and never will be. And I'm not foolish or noble enough to marry her under these circumstances. At worst, I'll have to pay her child support, at best the whole thing will vanish. I told her I would never see the child, and I meant it.”
But that was a whole other kettle of fish, involving responsibility and morality. She knew he would have to review the situation later, if she really did have the baby. But at least he wasn't in love with the woman, and didn't intend to marry her. In essence, it affected nothing between Coop and Alex. Except for some noise that could come up later in the tabloids, and that didn't worry Alex. All she cared about was how he felt about her.
“I hate to say it,” Alex said, as Coop held his breath and waited for what was coming. “And I'm sure you don't feel that way about it, but it doesn't sound like a big deal, Coop. These things probably happen to men in your shoes with a fair degree of regularity. It's unpleasant but it's not earth-shattering. I feel a lot better knowing about it, and I just don't see that it's such a big problem. Embarrassing maybe, if it comes out. But things like this happen all the time. I feel a lot better,” she beamed at him, “I thought you were about to tell me it was over.” In fact, life was just beginning for them.
“You're amazing.” He sat back, as he exhaled, and took a long, grateful look at her. “I truly love you. I was afraid you'd tell me to get lost and throw me back in the river.”
“Not likely.” Neither of them had eaten lunch, they had been so intent on what he was saying. “I think there's a distinct possibility you're a keeper.” He felt the same way about her, and he was about to tell her so, when her pager went off, and she glanced at it.
“Shit!” she said, taking a swig of coffee as she stood up. “Someone's coding… I gotta go… don't worry, everything's fine… I love you… I'll call you later….” She was halfway across the cafeteria at a dead run before he knew what had happened. And he stood up and called out to her as everyone around him stood staring.
“I love you!” he shouted. She turned back with a smile and waved, as a man wearing a hairnet cleaning tables with a wet cloth grinned at him.
“Right on!” Coop smiled at him, and walked out of the cafeteria with a light heart and a spring in his step that hadn't been there when he'd walked in. Alex was a remarkable woman, and in spite of what had happened, she was still his.
Chapter 14
Jimmy was sitting in his kitchen going over a stack of papers he'd brought home from work, and trying to decide if he wanted to cook dinner. He never seemed to eat dinner anymore, except when friends from work talked him into it, or Mark came by with a steak and a six-pack. He didn't care if he ate or not, if he lived or didn't. He was just getting through the days. And the nights were endless.
It had been three months since Maggie died, and he was beginning to wonder if it would ever get better. There was no end in sight to the grief he was feeling. And at night, he lay in bed and cried. He never fell asleep until 3 or 4 A.M., and some nights he was awake until daylight.
He knew that moving into the gatehouse had been a good thing, but what he also knew now was that he had brought Maggie with him. She went with him everywhere, in his heart, in his head, in his bones, in his body. She was part of him now, part of every thought and reaction. Part of the way he looked at things, and what he believed, and wanted. Sometimes he felt more Maggie than Jimmy. He saw everything through her eyes. She had taught him so much. He wondered sometimes if that was why she had died. Because she had taught all the lessons she was meant to. But thinking that still didn't make it any easier for him. He missed her unbearably, and the pain he felt night and day was barely tolerable. Nothing made it better. He managed to stave it off for a few hours sometimes, like when he hung out with Mark, or went to work, or coached softball to the kids he worked with. But it was always waiting there for him, like an old friend, the pain that lurked everywhere and waited to overtake him. It was a fight he couldn't seem to win. For the moment, the pain was still winning.