She stopped in to see Jimmy during lunch that day. His mother had just gone to the cafeteria for a sandwich, and they chatted for a minute about how great she was. Alex said she loved her, and Jimmy agreed with her. He was lying quietly on his bed, and they were going to move him out of the ICU by the next morning.
“Thanks for hanging around while I was out cold. Mom says you were with her all day yesterday. That was nice of you, Alex. Thank you.”
“I didn't want her to be alone here. That's pretty scary for anyone,” she said, looking at him, and then decided to brave it. He was well enough for her to ask the question that had been tormenting her since it had happened. “So what was with the accident? I assume you hadn't been drinking.” She was sitting very close to him, and he took her hand in his without thinking.
“No, I hadn't… I don't know, I guess the car got out of control. Old tires… old brakes… old something…”
“Is that what you wanted?” she asked softly. “Did you make it happen or did you let it?” Her voice was almost a whisper as he paused for a long moment and looked at her.
“To be honest with you, Alex, I'm not sure I've asked myself the same question. I was in a daze… I was thinking about her…it was her birthday on Sunday…. I think for just a fraction of a second, I let it happen. I think I started to skid, and I just let it go, and when I tried to stop it, I couldn't, and then it was all over, and I woke up here.” It was exactly what she suspected. And he looked as horrified as she felt as she listened. “It's a hell of an admission. I wouldn't ever do it again, but for that one second, I just threw it to the Fates… and fortunately, they threw it right back at me.”
“You took a hell of a chance,” she said sadly. It hurt her to think that he was in that much pain, and had been for a long time. It was a terrible way to learn a lesson. He had confronted all his own miseries and terrors, and lived to tell it. “I think some good therapy is in order.”
“Yeah. So do I. I'd been thinking that lately anyway. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I felt like I was drowning, and I couldn't come back up to the surface. It sounds crazy to say it,” he said as he looked at his casts and the monitors, “I actually feel better now.” And he looked it.
“I'm glad to hear it,” Alex said with relief, “I'm going to keep an eye on you now. I'm going to ride your ass till I see you jumping for joy all the way down the drive from the gatehouse.”
He laughed at the vision she'd created. “I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of jumping.” He was going to be in a wheelchair for a while, and then on crutches. His mother had already volunteered to stay and take care of him for the duration. The doctors thought that in six or eight weeks he'd be walking. He was already fretting about going back to work as soon as he could manage, which was a good sign. “Alex,” he said cautiously, “thanks for caring. How did you know what happened?” he asked, impressed that she had figured out the part he himself had played in the accident. She was a very caring person.
“I'm a doctor, remember?”
“Oh yeah, that. But preemies don't drive cars off cliffs, generally speaking.”
“I just figured. I don't know why, but I knew the minute Mark told me. I think I felt it.”
“You're a smart woman.”
“I care about you a lot,” she said seriously, and he nodded. He cared about her too, but he was afraid to say it.
Alex went back to work when his mother returned with her sandwich, and she sang Alex's praises to Jimmy. Valerie was curious about her.
“Mark says she's Cooper Winslow's girlfriend. Isn't he a little old for her?” his mother asked with interest. She hadn't met Coop yet, but she knew who he was, and had heard a lot about him from both his tenants and Alex.
“Apparently, she doesn't think so,” Jimmy answered.
“What's he like?” his mother asked, munching turkey on whole wheat. Jimmy was still on a soft diet, and watching her made him hungry. It was the first time in a long time that he actually remembered being hungry. Maybe what he had said was right, he thought to himself, maybe he had finally exorcised his demons. He had gone right to the edge and jumped off, and, no thanks to himself, had landed safely. Maybe in a crazy way, the accident would prove to be a blessing in the end.
“Coop is arrogant, handsome, charming, debonair, and selfish as hell,” Jimmy answered his mother's question. “The only problem is, she doesn't see it,” he said, looking annoyed.
“Don't be so sure,” Valerie said quietly, wondering if he was in love with her, or even knew it. “Women have a way of seeing things and not choosing to deal with them until later. They file them. But it's not that they don't see them. And she's a very bright young woman.”
“She's brilliant,” Jimmy defended her, which confirmed his mother's suspicions about his feelings, whether or not he was aware.
“I suspect she is. She won't make a mistake. Maybe he suits her for the time being, although I must say, they seem like an odd combination, from everything I've heard about him.”
But she was impressed the next day when they moved Jimmy to a private room, and Coop sent him a gigantic bouquet of flowers. She wondered if Alex had sent them for him, and then realized she hadn't. It was the kind of bouquet a man would send, and not a woman. A man who was used to knocking women right off their feet and bowling them over. It didn't even occur to Coop to send fewer than four dozen roses.
“Do you think he wants to marry me?” Jimmy teased his mother.
“I hope not!” she said, laughing at him. But she also hoped Coop didn't want to marry Alex either. She deserved better than an aging movie star, Valerie knew, after talking to her for hours. She needed a young man who loved her and cared about her and would be there for her, and would give her babies. Like Jimmy. But Valerie knew better than to say anything to either of them. They were friends, and for the moment, it was all either of them wanted.
Alex came to see Jimmy every day, when she was working, and when she wasn't. She came down to see him on her breaks, and brought him books to keep him entertained, and told him funny stories. She even brought him a remote-controlled fart machine, so he could wreak havoc with the nurses. It wasn't dignified, but he adored it. And late at night, she would come down quietly, and they spent long hours talking about things that mattered. His work, hers, his parents' marriage, his life with Maggie, the agonizing way he missed her. She told him about Carter and her sister. About her parents, and the relationship she had wanted with them as a child, and never had, because both of them were incapable of it. Little by little, they fed each other their secrets and tested uncharted waters. They were entirely unaware of it, and had anyone asked, they would have insisted it was friendship. Only Valerie knew better. She was highly suspicious of the label they put on it. The brew they were concocting was far more potent, whether or not they knew it. And she was happy for them. The only fly in the ointment, as far as she could see, was Coop.
And that weekend, she got a look at the fly for herself. She hadn't met him until then. And she had to admit, he was very impressive. He was everything Jimmy had said he was, egotistical, self-centered, arrogant, entertaining, and charming. But there was more to him than that. Jimmy just wasn't old enough to see it, or mature enough to understand it. What she saw in Coop was a man who was vulnerable, and scared. No matter how youthful he looked, or how many young women he surrounded himself with, he knew the game was almost over. He was terrified, she realized. Of being sick, of being old, of losing his looks, of dying. His refusal to deal with Jimmy's accident in any form told her that. And so did his eyes. There was a sad man behind the laughter. And no matter how charming Coop was, she felt sorry for him. He was a man who was afraid to face his demons. The rest was just window dressing. But she knew Jimmy would never have understood it if she'd tried to explain it to him. And the nonsense about the girl having the baby was just food for his ego. Even if he complained about it, she sensed instinctively that there was a part of it which flattered him, and he brought it up to torture Alex, just to remind her subliminally that there were other women who wanted his babies. It meant he was not only young, but potent.