"Clean flowerbeds?" Jill suggested.
"I promise I'll feed you."
Jill's smile was warm as she reached out and lightly touched Carrie's hand. "Then it's a
date."
Those words hung between them as Jill slowly removed her fingers from Carrie's hand.
CHAPTER TWELVE
It was unusually quiet as Jill closed the back door and moved silently across the deck. She
supposed the cold rain of earlier had chased everyone inside for the evening. She took a
deep breath, smelling wood smoke from neighboring chimneys. A romantic concept, but she
and Craig had yet to have one this winter. Of course, a cheery fire burning warmly inside
usually meant someone was there to enjoy it. And on this evening, like so many others, she
was alone. Craig and Angie were at the basketball game. To their credit, they had invited
her. It was an afterthought on Craig's part, she knew, but nonetheless, he'd offered and
she declined.
She moved to the porch swing, sinking down heavily as she put it in motion. Her fingers
were cold on the wineglass and she pulled her robe tighter around her.
The cold... the quiet. A year ago, loneliness would have settled upon her by now. A feeling
of... well, not quite depression, just an aloneness, a feeling she lived with, grew to
recognize, grew to accept.
But tonight, as she sat in the swing and quietly rocked back and forth, she couldn't quite
conjure up that feeling. She felt at peace. She felt... connected.
She tilted her head back, her eyes searching through the bare trees to the sky, finding
only a handful of stars that escaped from behind the clouds. It was enough. She smiled,
letting her eyes slip closed as she thought of Carrie, a woman she'd known barely six
weeks.
Again, a sense of peace settled over her. She was past trying to figure out why she felt so
drawn to Carrie. It didn't matter. She simply was.
She suspected the feeling was mutual.
And that scared her a little.
How long she sat out in the cold, she had no idea. Long enough for the wine bottle to be
nearly empty, long enough for the neighbor's lights to go out. She knew she should go
inside but she couldn't seem to find the energy to move. But only minutes later, she saw
headlights flash across the trees, then the sound of the garage door opening.
She sighed, knowing her peace was over. She swallowed the last of the wine in her glass
then bent over to pick up the bottle. She heard Craig calling for her and it was only then
she realized she hadn't left any lights on inside. Before she could get up, Craig opened the
back door, seeing her in the shadows.
"Jill? What are you doing?"
"Just... just sitting."
"But it's freezing out here."
She pulled her robe tighter around her. "I hadn't noticed."
He surprised her by coming out onto the deck and joining her on the porch swing. Putting an
arm around her shoulders, he drew her closer to him.
"Good game?" she asked, trying not to stiffen in his arms.
"Oh, yeah. We killed them, babe. You should come sometime. I really think this is the year
we go to State. We're that damn good."
"I'll make a game, I promise."
"Yeah, you always say that."
"I just felt like being alone tonight."
He put the swing in motion then squeezed her shoulder again.
"You've felt like being alone a lot lately," he said quietly.
"You think so? Just because I didn't want to go to your game?"
"No. It's just, you know, you come out here a lot. Sit out here by yourself. What's going on,
Jill?"
"Nothing. Nothing's going on."
"You sure? I mean is there something I need to worry about?"
She smiled. "What are you asking, Craig?"
"You just haven't seemed very happy lately. Makes me think you're not happy with me."
She sighed. "I don't know what's wrong, Craig." She shrugged. "I just feel like being alone
is all." She laughed nervously. "I'll be forty in a few months. Maybe it's that."
"But it's not... it's not another man?"
She pulled away slightly, staring at him. "Another man? No, it's not another man." She
poked him with her elbow. "In this town? Are you kidding me?"
His laugh was filled with relief she noted as he pulled her closer and kissed her quickly on
the lips.
"Okay then. Good. And we have a lunch date tomorrow," he said.
She frowned. "A date?"
"Yeah. No school. Teacher's workday. I promised Angie I'd take the two of you for pizza. I
still owe you, you know."
"But—"
"No buts. I'll swing by here and pick up Angie and then we'll pick you up." He grinned. "I
can't remember the last time we went to lunch together. It'll be fun."
Fun? She took a deep breath, trying to shake off the panic that was threatening.
Tomorrow was Friday. Her last chance to see Carrie before the weekend.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jill watched the ticking of the clock. On more than one occasion, she'd picked up the phone
intending to call Craig, intending to make up some excuse to cancel their lunch date. And
each time, she hung up before it could ring. She could think of no plausible reason to
cancel.
So she spent the rest of the morning trying to think of a way to contact Carrie. She had
almost talked herself into driving out to the cottage and leaving a note but decided that
was a bit much. Of course, it would all be so much simpler if she and Carrie had at least
exchanged phone numbers. As it was, Carrie would simply be left to wonder if Jill decided
to skip out on their daily lunch or... or what? Got a better offer? She glanced out the
window at the sunshine that had finally made an appearance after four days of rain. A
better offer? It wouldn't be possible.
She looked again to the clock, knowing Harriet would be leaving soon. Then she would have
an hour to herself, a whole hour to wish she had no lunch date with her husband.
"Oh, Jill, what is wrong with you?" she whispered. She cupped her face in her hands and let
out a deep breath. Indeed, what was wrong with her? How could she possibly be dreading
seeing her husband and daughter?
Oh, it wasn't that she was dreading the lunch date. She knew the truth for what it was.
She was dreading not being able to see Carrie. It wasn't startling to realize she would
rather spend her lunch hour with Carrie, not her husband. She would rather spend it
talking and visiting and getting to know her new friend, not sitting in a crowded pizza joint
with high school kids all clamoring for attention, her daughter included.
But she would go. She would pretend to have a good time. And at two, when Craig dropped
her off at the office, she would kiss him good-bye and tell him how much she enjoyed it.
Then the rest of the afternoon would crawl by, much like the morning had, and this empty
feeling in her stomach would grow and grow as the weekend approached.
"I don't know why we couldn't have come at noon," Angie complained. "All the cool kids are
already gone."
"Because my lunch time is one to two," Jill said as she reached for a slice of pizza.
"I should have asked you to switch, I guess," Craig said. As Jill stared at him, eyebrows
raised, he shrugged. "It's her lunch too."
"Oh, look, Dad, isn't that Lance?" Angie asked quietly.
Jill followed their gaze. "Lance who?"
Angie rolled her eyes dramatically. "He's only like the coolest, Mom. Hello? Quarterback?"