It's certainly none of her business what I do on my own time."
"Fine. You want to continue this charade then so be it. Let me know when you're ready to
tell me the truth."
He walked purposefully into the spare room, firmly closing the door behind him. She stared
at the door for a moment, then turned, surprised to find Angie standing in the hallway.
Their eyes met but Jill looked away, not knowing what to say to her daughter. She had
most likely heard their entire conversation.
"Why don't you just get it over with?"
Jill walked down the stairs, ignoring her, hoping she would just go back into her room. But
she followed Jill into the kitchen.
"What are you waiting for?" Angie asked.
"Angie, this is between me and your father. You don't know what's going on."
"I do know," she said loudly. "He's moved into the other room because you're having an
affair," she accused.
"Angie, I'm not."
"Liar! Quit lying to me," she screamed. "You're seeing another man!"
"I'm not. I swear I'm not."
"You're lying! You're lying," she said again. "Why can't you just tell Daddy the truth? Just
get it over with so I don't have to worry day after day what's going to happen."
"Angie, it's not that simple." She spread her hands. "And nothing's going to happen to you."
"Yes it is. You're going to get a divorce and make me leave here. You're going to move
somewhere and make me go with you. Well, I don't want to go with you," she yelled. "I hate
you! I want to stay with Daddy!"
She ran from the kitchen, her feet pounding on the stairs as she hurried back to her room.
Jill heard the door slam and she hesitated, torn between comforting her daughter and her
own fears. Carrie was right. If Angie found out about their relationship, it would ruin the
fragile bond between mother and daughter. Angie would never understand, especially at her
age.
She sank down heavily in the chair, staring at the half-eaten sandwich Craig had flung
there earlier. She felt alienated. Even in her own kitchen, surrounded by familiar things,
she felt little more than a stranger in her own home.
She leaned her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands as she stared across the
room. Little by little, their accusations began to fade, being replaced by much more
pleasant words, snippets of conversations between Carrie and herself, softly spoken words
of love passing between them in their most fervent moments of passion, teasing words as
they sat side by side at the pier, and then no words at all as they held hands by the flower
garden, admiring their work as the clock slowly ticked the time away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
As soon as Jill walked into the cottage on Monday afternoon, she knew something was
wrong. Carrie, who normally greeted her at the door, was at the pier, standing alone,
staring out at the lake. Jill tossed her purse on the bar and made her way down the path,
past the flower garden to the pier, her heels clicking on the wooden boards. Carrie turned
at the sound, her eyes showing her surprise.
"Is it one already?"
"Yes." Jill tilted her head slightly, watching Carrie. "What's wrong?"
Carrie waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing." She walked closer, wrapping her arms
around Jill's waist and pulling her into a tight hug. "Saturday was fantastic and I missed
you like crazy yesterday."
Jill smiled, pulling her head away to look at Carrie, then bending closer, lightly kissing her
on the mouth. "Yesterday was endless," Jill agreed. "In fact, this morning was endless."
She pulled out of Carrie's embrace, watching her, trying to read her eyes. There was a
wounded look there she'd never seen before. She took Carrie's hand and led her to their
bench. "Now tell me what's wrong."
Carrie looked away. "Oh, it's nothing. Just a bad day yesterday."
"Then tell me about it. We've talked about everything. There aren't any secrets between
us. Are there?"
"It's not that," Carrie said. She clutched her hands together as she stared at the lake.
"It's just, yesterday morning, James... he confessed that he's been having an affair," she
said quietly.
Jill's eyes widened. "Oh, God, I'm sorry." Then she frowned. "Is that the proper thing to
say, given our circumstances?"
Carrie smiled slightly and shrugged. "I feel like an ass. I mean, here he was, so eaten up
with guilt that he had to confess, and I just sat there, stunned."
"You didn't say anything?"
"We didn't have a screaming match, if that's what you mean. James and I have never been
big fighters. It was all so calm and civilized. Of course, I don't know what my reaction
would have been had I not been involved with you."
She stood, pacing, and Jill stayed quiet, waiting for Carrie to talk it out.
"She's the assistant manager at one of his stores," she said finally. Again a quiet laugh.
"She's thirty-one. And good God, she's married too. I mean, what was he thinking?"
"So what did you say to him?"
"I asked him how long it had been going on," she said. "Since last fall." She turned and
stared out over the lake. "Now I guess I know why he hasn't been concerned with our lack
of a sex life." She turned back around. "God, that sounded just like the victimized wife,
didn't it?"
"Well, it's a shock. I mean, you never suspected, did you?"
Carrie shook her head. "No. Of course I haven't really given anything a whole lot of
thought lately." She sighed. "But that's not why I'm upset, Jill. I mean, how can I be upset
with him for having an affair? No, I'm upset with myself. I had the perfect opportunity to
tell him about you, about us. Yet I didn't." She walked back to the bench and sat down
again. "And like a typical wife, I let him wallow in his guilt, let him beg for forgiveness, let
him plead with me not to tell the boys. And all the while I'm thinking what an ass I am."
Jill linked arms with her. "But why did he tell you? Does he want to be with this woman?"
Carrie shook her head. "No. Like I said, she's married, has kids. It was just something that
happened."
"And is still happening?"
"No. And I think that was why the guilt got to him." She sighed. "He said he thought maybe
I was having my own affair and that was why I didn't miss him being around."
"Oh."
"I still couldn't tell him. If I'd told him, then everything would have focused on me and it
would be like his little affair just went away, because mine is a bit bigger, seeing as how
you're a woman and all," she said with a hint of a laugh. Then she buried her head in her
hands. "What a mess," she muttered.
Jill leaned closer and bumped her shoulder. "Well, speaking of messes, Craig has officially
moved into the spare room."
Carrie looked up. "It's gone that far?"
"And Angie confronted me. She has informed me that she hates me and if we get a divorce
she wants to stay with Craig."
"Oh no."
Jill shrugged. "She's fourteen. She's supposed to hate her mother."
"And Craig?"
Jill sighed. "I don't know." She turned, looking at Carrie, falling into her eyes. "What are
we going to do?"
"I won't lie, Jill. I've thought of us being together. How wonderful it would be to go to
sleep with you at night, to hold each other, to wake together to greet a new day. How
wonderful would that be?" She turned, her eyes moving across the water. "But this is so
foreign to us both." She laughed. "We don't exactly have experience at being lesbians."