As I pressed myself closer to him I kept thinking, He's the one, the one, the one. My only one. My muirn beatha dan. The one meant for me. This was all supposed to happen.
Cal pulled back a little bit then spoke against my cheek. "Am I the first person you've been close to?"
"Yes," I whispered. I felt his lips smile against my skin, and he held me tighter.
"I'm not your first person." I stated the obvious.
"No," he said after a moment "Does that bother you?"
"Did you sleep with Bree?" I blurted out then winced, wanting to erase the words.
Cal looked surprised. "Bree? Why." He shook his head. "Where did that come from?"
"She told me you did," I said, trying to prepare myself for the answer, to act like it didn't matter. Gazing at my fingers resting against his chest I waited to see what he would say.
"Bree told you that she slept with me?" he asked. I nodded.
"Did you believe her?"
I shrugged, trying to suppress the panicky feeling that was building inside me. "I didn't know. Bree is gorgeous, and she usually gets what she wants. I guess it wouldn't surprise me."
"I don't kiss and tell," Cal said, considering his words. "I think that stuff should be private."
My heart threatened to explode.
"But I'll tell you this much because I don't want it between us. Yes, Bree made it clear she was into the idea. But I wasn't available at the time, so it didn't happen."
I frowned. "Why weren't you available?"
He laughed, brushing back my hair. "I had already seen you."
"And it was witch at first sight." The words just slipped out. I winced, wishing I could take them back.
Cal shook his head, bemused. "What do you mean?"
"Raven and Bree said that you're only with me because I'm a witch, a strong witch."
"Is that what you believe?" Cal asked, his voice cooler.
"I don't know," I said, starting to feel awful. Why did I ever begin this conversation?
Cal was silent for a couple of minutes and very still. "I don't know what the right answer is. Sure, your powers as a witch are really exciting to me. The idea of us working together, of helping you learn what I know, is… tantalizing. And as for the rest I just… think you're beautiful. You're pretty and sexy, and I'm drawn to you. I don't even understand why we're having this conversation, after I told you about the muirn beatha dan." He shook his head.
I was silent feeling like I had dug myself into a hole.
"Could you do me a favor?" he asked.
"What?" I asked, afraid of what he was about to say.
"Could you ignore what other people say?"
"I'll try," I said quietly.
"Could you do me another favor?"
I looked at him.
"Could you kiss me again? Things were just starting to get interesting."
Laughing, wanting to cry, I leaned down and kissed him. He held me to him strongly, pressing me against his body from chest to knees. His hands swept over my back, my sides, and explored my skin underneath my shirt. I felt his fingers smooth over the small birthmark I have under my right arm, feeling its raised edges.
"I've always had that," I whispered. He hadn't seen it but it was a rose pink mark about an inch and a half long. I had always thought it looked like a small dagger. It made me smile to think of it now: I could say it looked like an athame.
"I love it," Cal murmured, feeling it again. "It's part of you." Then he kissed me again, sweeping me away on a tide of emotion.
"Think about magick," Cal whispered, and my scattered thoughts couldn't comprehend his meaning. He continued touching me, and he said, "Magick is a strong feeling, and this is a strong feeling. Put them together."
If I had tried talking just then, it would have come out as gibberish. But inside my mind, his words strung together and made some sort of dim sense. I thought about how I felt when I made magick or gathered magick: that feeling of power, of completion, of being connected to things, being part of the world. With Cal's hands on me I felt a similar and yet very different sensation: it, too, was power and a kind of gathering, but it was also like a door leading somewhere else.
And then I got it. It all came together. Our mouths together, our breaths wreathing themselves together, our minds in tune with each other, my hands on his skin, his hands on mine, and it felt almost like we were in a circle, when the energy is all around, there for the taking.
There was energy surrounding us, wrapping us together, and my shirt was pushed up, my breasts against the warm skin of his chest, and we were holding each other tightly and kissing, and magick sparked. Any words I said then would be a spell. Any thought I had would be a magickal directive. Anything I called to me would come.
It went way beyond exhilarating.
When we stopped and I opened my eyes, it was dark outside. I had no idea of what time it was and glanced at my watch to see I was late for dinner.
Groaning, I pulled down my shirt.
"What time is it?" Cal murmured, his fingers already reaching for his buttons.
"Six-thirty," I said. "I have to go."
"Okay."
As I reached for the door, he pulled me back against him so I sat in his lap.
"That was incredible," he whispered, kissing my cheek. He gave me a big grin. "I mean, that was incredible!"
I laughed, still feeling powerful as he opened the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "And I'll think about you tonight."
He headed back to his own car. As I climbed into the front seat of Das Boot and started the engine, emotion almost overwhelmed me.
It was only late that night, when I was lying in bed, that I remembered that I'd never told him about the blond witch.
On Thursday morning the only parking spot was right behind Breezy, Bree's sleek BMW. I thought about how easy it would be for my car to crush hers, then I smiled wryly at having such a mean, unmagickal thought
"You look different," Mary K. said as I carefully maneuvered my car into the spot. She peered into the passenger-side makeup mirror and reapplied her lip gloss.
I glanced at her, startled. Had she seen me in the car with Cal yesterday? "What do you mean?"
"Your bruises are a lot better," said Mary K. She looked out her car window. "Oh God, there he is."
My eyes narrowed at the sight of Bakker Blackburn skulking around the life sciences building, obviously waiting for Mary K.
"Mary K., he tried to hurt you," I reminded her.
She bit her lip, looking at him. "He's so sorry," she muttered.
"You can't trust him." I gathered up my backpack, and we opened our doors.
"I know," my sister said, looking at him. "I know." She moved off to see some of her girlfriends, and I headed for the coven hangout
"Morgan." Raven's voice reached me from a few feet away. I looked over to see her and Bree striding along beside me.
I didn't say anything.
"Your face is looking more normal," said Raven snidely. "Did you do a magick spell to fix it? Oh, wait, you're not supposed to, right?"
I just kept on walking. So did they. I realized Raven and Bree were going to follow me all the way to the east door.
Jenna and Matt saw us first. Then Cal met my eyes and gave me an intimate smile, which I returned. His gaze grew cold when he saw Bree and Raven behind me.
"Hi, guys," said Jenna, with her usual friendliness. "Bree, how's it going?"
"Peachy keen," Bree said sarcastically. "Everything's great. How about you?"
"Fine," said Jenna. "I haven't had an asthma attack all week." Her eyes flicked to me, and I looked down.
"Really?" said Raven.