We were all nude. The sight of those healthy bodies was delightful, but there is nothing sexy about female skin in a sauna. At these high temperatures, the gallant reflex does not take place
Following the blond man's example, I spread my arms' and the ladies snuggled close to me. I noticed that Sir Miesko still had his hands on his knees.
"Sir Conrad," he said, "You must realize that to have the right to do something is one thing. To be able to get away with it is quite another."
The blond man laughed. "Sir Miesko, you astound me with your valor in battle and your meekness in wedlock. You had best take the advice of the Holy Church and never strike your wife with a stick longer than the distance from your fingertip to your elbow, nor bigger around than your thumb. Then take my advice and never use anything less! And often, Sir Miesko, to ensure your bliss, marital and otherwise."
"Your advice is always welcome, my lord, though it may be that I will state certain facts at tonight's festival." He grinned.
"Hah! That my wife chooses to stay in Hungary and I support her there? Well met, Sir Miesko."
He turned to me. "And this must be the noble giant, Sir Conrad Stargard, who comes from a mysterious land not to be mentioned, decked with mystic equipment." His eyes twinkled, and he smiled. "A man who defeats bandits and highwaymen in droves and captures vast booty! A man who rescues maidens of the tenderest of ages, grabs them from the clutches of death and merchants, and at great personal peril transports them to safety! And a man who, exhausted from fighting the forces of evil and brute nature, still has sap enough in him to keep Krystyana here smiling all morning as she hasn't smiled in months." Krystyana threw a wet cedar branch at him, but he took no notice of it. "I trust that those wounds and bruises are the result of honest battle and were not received from the calm ministrations of our gentle Krystyana." A fistful of wet branches flew.
"Noble Sir Conrad, I am delighted to meet you and honored by your presence. Know that I am Count Lambert Piast and that I welcome you to Okoitz."
I started to rise. It was blindingly hot, and sweat cascaded off me. But on my first day in this century, I had been bashed on the head for not adhering to the proper forms of courtesy. I had determined to learn them all and follow them to the letter.
"Ah, ah. Please, do not bow. It is not that I have disrespect for formalities but that a bow implies getting up again, and I fear for the roof."
"I thank you, Count Lambert, and my skull thanks you as well," I said, trying to match his flippant yet perceptive conversation. "But I complain that your description of me far overshoots the facts."
"I know, but that really is the gist of the story that's been circulating. You're the first news in weeks, and these people need something to talk about. I know the story of the child is true because I have talked to the Malinski woman and seen to the girl's safety."
"Boris Novacek was being sensible, you know, in wanting to leave the child behind. It was only the purest luck that let you find Okoitz; in that dark blizzard. A merchant can afford to be sensible, but a nobleman often cannot. A nobleman must think of justice and honor first, and damn the odds! You did well, Sir Conrad."
"Thirdhand information-that is, from reality to Boris to Ilona to me-has it that you killed five highwaymen on the trail. Is this true?"
"No, my lord, I Wed only two. One may have been a thief, an extortionist, or only an irate creditor for all I know. He kept striking at me, and I could not dissuade him. I regret his death. The second was a knight I got with a lucky blow. Of the othersone of whom turned out to be a woman-I wounded two that my horse dispatched, and my horse struck down the last."
"Ali, yes. Your docile fighting mare. Your skinny sword and your strange tactics. But later with that. It's time to go out."
I was thankful, for my eyesight was blurring with the heat. One strange effect of the sauna is that once you are hot enough, cold doesn't bother you. I stood in knee-deep snow swishing myself down with a bundle of cedar branches, removing sweat and dirt. We were in a courtyard surrounded by buildings, but the people had absolutely no nudity taboo! Dozens of peasants were coming and going and paying no special attention to the nine of us nude in the snow. I'd never heard of such a custom in
Poland, but then, it isn't the sort of thing monks put into history books, is it?
I was musing on that when I felt a sharp whack on the buttocks. I spun around
Krystyana was standing, facing me, with a cedar switch in her hand. Her legs were wide, her fists Were on her hips, and she was grinning, daring me to do something.
I was unsure of just what, but I accepted her challenge and swatted her across the obvious protuberances.
She squealed and struck back, and soon the other five girls joined in on her side. I was surrounded and getting the worst of it.
"Fear not, Sir Conrad! I come to thine aid"' The count swatted his way into the circle. "Back to back, Sir Conrad!"
"For this timely aid, much thanks, my lord. Together we may yet be victorious!" I shouted back. A crowd was gathering and cheering us on, generally favoring their own sex.
Still, the count and I were losing. We were outnumbered and were pulling our punches, or rather our swats. The opposition wasn't.
"Sir Miesko!" the count shouted. "You would show the white feather to your liege lord on the field of battle? Defend me!"
"My lord, it's not the enemy I fear but my wife! In all events, things appear to be about to fall to your advantage."
Uh, yes. In the cold, the gallant reflex was no longer impossible. Had I the time, I would have been embarrassed. The fight had the same effect on the count. As uninhibited as these people were, I was afraid that I was about to be involved in a public orgy.
"Defend me, Sir Miesko!"
"My lord, I shall support you with mine trebuchets." Sir Miesko began pelting us indiscriminately with snowballs. Some minutes later, the count stopped one with his face.
"Fair ladies," he said, "I call a truce with you that we might first dispatch our common foe."
Krystyana was, as usual, the spokeswoman (and ringleader). "With pleasure, my lord. Ladies, demolish me that man!"
The eight of us turned instantly on Sir Miesko and buried him under our snowballs.
Seeing Sir Miesko being trounced, some of the spectators- there must have been a hundred by now-started pelting us with snowballs.
Suddenly the count stiffened and raised his hand. Instantly, all motion stopped. Snowballs in the air seemed to drop quickly, as if embarrassed.
"My good people!" the count intoned. There was suddenly nothing of the clown or wit about him. Here was a born commander, knowledgeable of his people, confident of their support.
"I know that this is Christmas day, but the festival does not begin for three hours. I am your liege lord, and I expect to be treated with respect." A smile flashed. "Until then. "
He motioned us back into the sauna, and the crowd dispersed. A mother began to whack a boy who had thrown a snowball at us.
We went back to soaking up great quantities of heat. Once we were through, the commoners would get the sauna for the rest of the day.
For the two or three weeks after Christmas, work outside was impossible. navel was also impossible, and so defense was unnecessary. Traditionally, on the afternoon of Christmas day, the whole countryside went on vacation.
Oh, they couldn't go anywhere, but they had fun anyway. Discipline was relaxed ' almost to the point of nonexistence. Food and drink were on the count, although everyone was supposed to pitch in on the preparations.
There were two days of gift giving. On Christmas night, December 25, you gave presents to the members of your own class. On the twelfth night, January 6, you gave to members of the opposite class. For purposes of gift giving, the ladies-in-waiting, Krystyana and company, were on the receiving end of both groups.