“I want to see you.”
“Then come.”
When he arrived he was laden with carrier bags like a suburban husband.
He seemed quite comfortable with the role. She thought he must have been shopping for Barbara. Like a suburban housewife she unpacked the groceries. He held out a polystyrene tray of chicken pieces wrapped in cling film
“Shouldn’t these go in the oven now, if we’re going to eat them at lunchtime?”
“Are you joking? I’ll do them later. I’m not wasting time cooking when I’ve got you to myself.”
It was a grey and misty day and she’d lit a fire. They had a picnic in front of it. She’d ordered salad, bread, a lump of Stilton, olives, chocolate.
“All the things,” she said, “I love most in the world.”
And me?” “You?” she said. “Oh, I don’t think I could fall for anyone who fishes for compliments like that!” But she pushed the tub of olives out of the way and pulled him down beside her instead.
They were at the undignified stage of events. His trousers undone but not fully off, her bra undipped but dangling from one shoulder, when Grace arrived. They heard the kitchen door open then shut and they froze. Godfrey started scrabbling for his clothes then, but it was too late. She came straight in and saw them. She stood in the doorway staring, her eyes blank, not quite focused, as if she were thinking of something else altogether.
She didn’t say anything. Not even “Sorry for disturbing you1 which Anne thought was a bit of a cheek. She just turned round and went out.
Anne was tempted to let her go. What did it matter if she told the world she’d been shagging Godfrey Waugh in Baikie’s cottage? Then she thought it could make things difficult, and not just for Godfrey. Anne fastened her bra and pulled on her top. In the kitchen Grace was standing, writing on a sheet of paper from out of her notebook.
“I thought you weren’t coming back,” Anne said.
Grace didn’t reply.
“What are you doing here anyway?”
“I’d forgotten to leave details of my route and my ETA.”
“Look,” Anne said, ‘ what happened just now.”
“None of my business, is it!” She can’t have recognized him, Anne thought, or she’d have said something.
“None of my business who you mix with.” So then Anne wasn’t quite sure.
“Look,” Anne said again, and even she could hear the desperation in her voice. “He’s married. With a child. No one knows about us. You won’t say anything?”
Grace looked at her. Anne couldn’t work out at all what the other woman was feeling. Contempt perhaps. Pity? Envy?
“No,” Grace said at last, “I’ll not say anything.”
“Thanks.” Anne was surprised at how relieved she suddenly felt. She wanted to make a gesture. “Why don’t I cook a meal later? For the three of us. Something special. It’s about time we made an effort to get on. OK?”
Grace shrugged. “OK.” She walked towards the door, paused, gave the ghost of a smile. “I’ll let you get on then.”
For the attempt at humour, for letting her off the hook, Anne could have hugged her.
But when Anne returned to the living room Godfrey was fully dressed.
His shirt was buttoned to the neck, his tie knotted.
“What are you doing? I’ve got rid of her.”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing. And she won’t say anything.” She paused. “And I believe her.”
“I should never have come. I told you it was a risk.”
He looked at her pathetically, reminding her of Jeremy, irritating her so much that she said: “Anyway, I thought you wanted to go public.
Isn’t that what you said after the meal on the coast?”
“Not now. Not like this.” He looked around the grubby room, with the remains of the meal scattered across the floor.
“Fine,” she shouted. “That’s fine! Because I’m not into commitment either. Never have been.”
They stared at each other.
“I’m sorry.” She reached out a hand, touched the cotton of his shirtsleeve. “Finish the wine at least. Our first row. We should celebrate.”
“No.” Then more gently, “I’m going to walk up to the lead mine. Then if anyone recognized the car there’s an excuse for me being here.”
“Who would recognize it? You’re being paranoid.”
“I want to go. I want to see the site again.”
“I’ll come with you then.”
“No, really, I prefer to go by myself.”
She wandered around the living room, picking up the scraps of food, piling plates and cutlery, then she went upstairs and washed out a few things in the bathroom sink. It wasn’t much of a drying day but she took them outside and pegged them on the line, thinking that from there she might see him walking back down over the hill to the cottage. She wouldn’t have gone out to look specially. There was no sign of him or of Grace.
Inside again she started to prepare a casserole for the evening meal, using the ingredients Godfrey had brought. She put Annie Lennox in her cassette player and played it very loud, so when he got back he’d know she wasn’t bothered about him one way or the other. She told herself it wouldn’t be long before he did come back, apologetic, flushed, out of breath. She thought he must look really stupid out on the hill in the clothes he’d put on for the office this morning.
But he seemed to be away for hours and it came as a shock when at last she heard the engine of his car. She rushed out into the yard but it had driven off at great speed. She had to walk up the track and close the gate behind him. He had driven on towards the ford without bothering to stop and shut it.
Later she tried to phone him at his office, but his secretary, who must have recognized her voice, said that he wasn’t taking any calls.
At first she was surprised when Grace was late back from the hill.
She’d thought they’d come to an understanding, had even thought they might get on better for the remainder of the project. Then she thought Grace was making a point, letting Anne know that her cooperation couldn’t be taken for granted. She tried to tell Rachael that there was probably nothing to worry about, but Rachael insisted on going out there herself, screaming and making a scene.
Later, when it got very dark and still Grace hadn’t returned, Anne wondered if Godfrey had followed her and frightened her off. Usually she wouldn’t have said that was in character at all in every situation he was understated, undramatic but today he had behaved very oddly.
Rushing away without talking to her then refusing to take her calls, that wasn’t like him. Anne thought it probably wouldn’t have taken a lot to scare Grace off. You could tell she was pretty near the edge already. Anne could imagine her walking to the nearest road and hitching a lift back to where she’d come from. Wherever that was.
In the end she couldn’t stand Rachael’s melodramatics any longer. She’d put on a brave face but she was panicking about Godfrey. About losing him. She hadn’t realized how much a part he’d been of her plans for the future. She went to bed and although she hadn’t expected to, she went to sleep very quickly. She didn’t hear the arrival of the mountain rescue team and the first she knew of Grace’s death was the sound of Rachael snivelling at the bottom of the stairs, early the next morning.
Grace
Chapter Nineteen.
The day after her arrival at Baikie’s Grace woke suddenly. The room was filled with light and she knew she had overslept, thought with a sudden panic that she might be in trouble. She looked around the room, not sure for a moment where she was. There were bunk beds, crammed into the big room so as many students as possible could be accommodated on field trips. They had been stripped of sheets but each had a grey blanket folded at the foot. The pillows were covered with striped cases. There was a musty, institutional smell. For an instant she was reminded of another place where she had stayed and she was confused.