‘You can’t hear unlisted petitions while there is any other business,’ the Master of the Timings cried in a soft panic. ‘It’s listed petitions, then other business — and only then unlisted petitions.’ He leaned harder on his staff and rolled his eyes back till only the whites were visible. ‘It was ever thus,’ he whispered.
‘Oh, indeed, My Lord,’ the Listings Clerk added in the tone of one who reminds a child that the sun doesn’t set till dusk. ‘It was ever thus — from the very creation of the world.’
‘Then get on with it!’ I groaned. I knew I was making one of those surrenders even emperors make when eunuchs close ranks. But it was that or let everything fall into chaos.
Looking relieved, the Master of the Timings turned and raised his voice. ‘A letter from His Magnificence the Lord Senator Nicetas, Commander of the East,’ he trilled in a fair approximation of his usual manner. A bearded messenger came forward and scowled at the pool of sunlight that was moving steadily down one of the columns. I’d been idly watching him all morning. He’d looked as impatient as I felt. He now took his place at a special lectern that set him at right angles to me and the crowd, and waited for the golden bell to be rung three times to indicate the quality of his employer. This done, he held out his knife and, with a dramatic flourish, slit the cords of the scroll he’d been wearing round his neck. He arranged his heavy features into a semblance of the charming as he read out the greeting and, after a pause for everyone to shout the praises of the Emperor’s worthless cousin, went into the main body of the letter:
The Divine Plato it may justly be observed stands to be corrected inasfar into the mouth of Socrates he betook himself to present the notion that the art of impressing marks upon the skin of a beast or upon the woven mat of Nilotic reed, hasn’t nay in any sense diminished the memoriative powers of mankind. .
I tried for a look of reverential joy and thought about the work piling up in my office. At last, raising his voice in the customary manner, the messenger got to the letter’s climax. This involved a line of Theophrastus falsely given to Hesiod, and a series of grammatical blunders gross enough to raise the thought that I was being insulted. But there was no insult. Like the Emperor, Nicetas had been raised in Carthage. They were both happier in Latin. And I’d had worse from natives. Indeed, this probably had been ghosted by a native. For all its faults, it did the usual job of a letter between persons of quality: You are absent. But no separation can sunder those who are united in spirit.
The messenger came forward and embraced my slippered feet. ‘What’s the message?’ I whispered.
‘No offence meant,’ came the reply, ‘but the Master’s legs is taking a turn for the worse. Tomorrow evening’s off.’
Mindful of how the egg underlay on my face was coming loose, I wiggled my toes to show the required desolation. ‘Give my sympathies to the Lord Nicetas,’ I replied without moving my lips. The man nodded. This was my first good news of the day. Nicetas might, this time, be festering to death. At the least, I’d been spared an evening of the poet he’d brought back with him from Egypt and was crying up as a second Callimachus. ‘Tell him that I pray for angels to attend upon his bed of sickness,’ I added. The messenger bowed, and walked backwards down the steps from my chair. I suppressed a cough and got up. There was a sound of shuffled feet and much brushing of sweaty hands on robes.
‘Let the whole universe bear witness,’ I began, ‘to the learned eloquence of My Lord Nicetas. Truly, has such a letter been received since the glorious days of old?’ There was an attempted murmur of admiration, though somewhat more coughing. I heard someone quote one of the more illiterate phrases. Someone else repeated it and threw in a loud groan of ecstasy. ‘Let it be known,’ I cried when all was silent again, ‘that this most astonishing of letters shall be displayed in my hall of audience beneath the icon of the Emperor. Let it be shown there for all eternity.’ There was a sound of clapping that began in the centre of the crowd and moved outward. It was followed by a variant on the standard acclamation, and then by another handful of incense, and then by helpless coughing. Still on my feet, I let out a sigh of relief. I’d just had an explanation of the cup and of its Latin message. Like his Imperial cousin, Nicetas had no visible sense of humour. But I could suppose he’d set Leander to work on an epigram to be recited at me the next time I had to attend one of his horrid soirées.
As I sat down, the Master of the Timings went into a sort of waddling dance with the messenger. It was all as should be expected — save that the eunuch kept missing his steps, and the messenger didn’t give the customary embrace, but kept his hands clamped behind his back. Everyone else continued shouting himself hoarse in Latin and bells rang out repeatedly from overhead. I glanced at the back of the crowd. One of the older petitioners looked as if he’d died and was being propped up from behind. I moved a hand to get the Listings Clerk’s attention. For some reason, I glanced down at the litter of documents that hadn’t yet been cleared away. Among various parchment scrolls was a half sheet of papyrus, cracked and then split where it had been folded over. I couldn’t see the message. But the seal was plain. I reached down and snatched at the broken sheet and read its contents:
My Lord Alaric,
I beg to inform, further to your standing orders, that we have impounded a ship that foundered last night near the second milestone on the western road out of the City. It is registered in Tanais and stuffed with furs. We have reason to believe that no tolls were paid on its journey through the Straits from the Black Sea to the Propontis.
Again further to your standing orders, we have secured the area, and we await your personal attention.
It was signed by Lucas, Head of Customs Enforcement, and a standard Treasury seal covered the end of his name.
I forgot about my new cup. Furs from Tanais, and on the far side of the Straits, and untaxed — possible evidence of corruption in the Tolls Office? Even if it showed just negligence, I had more urgent work than sitting here in bored and largely ornamental magnificence.
‘Why was this not given to me when it came in?’ I snapped. ‘When did it come in?’ The Master of the Timings shrugged and gripped harder on his staff.
‘It wasn’t delivered into my hands,’ the Listings Clerk added in a voice that accused everyone and no one. I looked again at the message. It could well have been here since before the beginning of the audience. Just in reach, the two eunuchs were hissing at each other in the rapid and deliberately unintelligible chatter their sort used for arguments. I could have handed out two bloody noses — that, or I could have promised immediate transfers to some barbarian-ravaged border province. I did neither. I looked again at the seal, and how negligently it had been rammed into the unmelted beeswax. The whole production screamed urgency. How much time had been lost already?
I stood up. The crowd stopped its shuffling and coughing. ‘This audience is at an end.’ I said loudly. ‘All unheard petitions are stood over to next Monday.’ I looked round at the uncomprehending faces. As I made for the door into the private quarters of my palace, I made sure to snatch up my birthday present and greetings. Until I could find time for a proper look at these, they could be locked away.
I barely heard the dejection in the voice of the Master of the Timings as he got everyone ready for a prostration before my now empty chair.
Chapter 7
It was one of those days in late spring when the sun is pitilessly bright. I stepped through the hidden side exit from my palace and hurried blinking into the first shade I could see. Back then, Constantinople still had a population of about half a million — possibly more, depending on how you counted the dwellings. That meant the City air could never be called sweet. But my palace was in one of the best areas, far from the slums and smellier workshops. Why, then, did this empty dead end of a street smell like a broken sewer? It was a change from the incense the Treasury eunuchs had been burning, but in no sense an improvement.