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Who wouldn’t be?

Someone who already had one.’

Bobby Moore smiles. Bobby Moore grins. Bobby Moore, captain of West Ham and England. Bobby Moore, World Cup winner and national treasure.

‘Would you play for Derby County?’ you ask him.

Bobby Moore lights another fag. Bobby Moore laughs, ‘Why not?’

‘That’ll do for me,’ you tell him and take him for lunch in the restaurant.

I’m afraid,’ begins the maître d’hôtel at the door, ‘that Mr Moore is not dressed appropriately for our restaurant …’

Listen to me,’ you tell him. ‘My team will never stay here again if my player can’t sit in this restaurant, my player who has won the World Cup for this country, my player who has done more for this bloody country than any other person you have ever had in your fucking little restaurant!

‘I don’t play for you yet,’ whispers Bobby Moore.

Shut up!’ you tell him. ‘You’re my player. I’ll ring Ron straight after lunch.’

* * *

The team will be training, having their rub-downs and their massages, lunch back at the hotel and then a short nap. I meet the London press in the hotel bar. I confirm that Madeley and McKenzie are still injured and will not play tonight. I admit that Yorath will. I deny any interest in Burnley’s captain Dobson. I refuse to talk about Bremner and Giles and tomorrow’s FA Disciplinary Committee. I have a couple of drinks with a couple of journalists and then a long, long lunch with David Coleman. Half an hour late back to the hotel, I go up to my room, throw my clothes in my case and take the coach with the team to Loftus Road.

* * *

You do not make an appointment. You do not telephone. You go straight to Upton Park. You do not wait in line and you do not knock on Ron Greenwood’s door. You just walk right into his office and tell him, ‘I’m here for a chat. Now, have you got any whisky?’

Ron Greenwood gets to his feet. Ron Greenwood gets you a whisky.

Any water?’ you ask him. ‘I am driving.’

‘The kitchen’s just round the corner,’ he tells you.

You go off to find the kitchen. You get the receptionist to take you up to the directors’ box. You ask her all sorts of questions about West Ham United, about Ron Greenwood and Bobby Moore

Twenty minutes later, you’re back in Ron’s office

I’ve been having a good look around this place,’ you tell him. ‘Isn’t it lovely? All nice and spruce. You don’t know how lucky you are, a nice place like this.’

Glad you like it,’ says Ron Greenwood. ‘Was there anything else?

Yes,’ you tell him. ‘I want to sign Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking.’

You can’t be serious, Brian?

Every man’s got his price,’ you tell him. ‘And I’d make sure it was a nice big bloody price, with a nice big fucking piece of it for you and for Bobby and Trevor.’

They’re not for sale,’ says Ron Greenwood.

How about we start at £300,000 for the pair of them, plus your slice?

‘They’re not for sale,’ he says again.

Well then, how about £400,000 for the pair of them, plus your slice?

Brian,’ says Ron Greenwood, ‘they are not for sale.’

Well listen then, if I can’t have Moore, can I have Brooking? Or how about this? If I can’t have Brooking, can I have Moore?

They’re not available,’ he says again. ‘But I’ll pass your offer on to the board.’

How about £500,000?’ you ask. ‘£500,000 for the pair of them? Not forgetting your slice of the cake for all your toil and trouble. Can’t say fairer than that, now can we, Ron?

Ron Greenwood is on his feet again, the door to his office open

Any chance of another whisky then?’ you ask him. ‘One for the road?

* * *

It’s only six days since Queen’s Park Rangers beat Leeds United 1–0 at Elland Road. My first home game, to a warm reception. Just six days ago, just last week. It feels like six years ago, another lifetime –

‘This lot came to your house last week and they beat you,’ I tell the visitors’ dressing room at Loftus Road. ‘They beat you in your own house, in front of your own fans; the League Champions, in their own house, in front of their own fans. They beat you because you couldn’t handle Gerry fucking Francis. Yorath will handle him tonight so the rest of you can forget about him, because you won’t see him. But remember this, the lot of you, every bloody one of you — they beat you in your own house last week, in front of your own fans. Now in my book there’s only one bloody answer to something like that and I hope you don’t need me to fucking tell you what that is — do you?’

They look up from their boots. From their socks and their tags. Their eyes blank –

‘Do you?’

They shake their heads. They nod their heads –

‘Right then, well bloody well get out there and show me that fucking answer!’

They stand up from the benches. They file out of the dressing room –

Into the corridor. Down the tunnel. Onto the pitch –

The grass and the earth. The soil and the dirt –

The heavy, heavy mud.

* * *

Everyone has heard about your adventures in London; the chairman, the directors, the players and the fans. You made bloody sure they did. You might not have got Bobby Moore, you might not have got Trevor Brooking, but you still got what you wanted; no way for the board to refuse you transfer money now, so you got your new signing: Henry Newton for £120,000 from Everton

And all this talk of new signings, of trips to London, of Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking, all this talk means there’s no need for a team talk today

Saturday 22 September 1973; Derby County vs Southampton:

There’s a penalty after seven minutes and, on the retake, Alan Hinton scores. Twenty minutes later, Roger Davies brings down a Hinton cross on his chest to score the second. Ten minutes after that, Hinton crosses again and this time Kevin Hector scores. Southampton pull one back before half-time, but it doesn’t matter. Ten minutes into the second half, Hinton leaves two Southampton players standing and crosses again for Hector to make it 4–1. Southampton then pull another back, but again it doesn’t matter. Hector sets up Davies for the fifth and then Davies sets up Hector for his hat-trick.

It is the first time Derby County have scored six since they beat Scunthorpe United in April 1963. Kevin Hector’s hat-trick was also Derby’s first in the league since 1969 and means Hector has now broken Jack Parry’s post-war league scoring record with 107 goals in 287 games

Derby County are now back up to second, Leeds United still first.

* * *

It was a good game, the best yet. They played for their pride and they played with their hearts. Especially in the first half as Lorimer, McGovern, Giles and Yorath passed the ball the length and width of the field, opening Queen’s Park Rangers up so that Yorath scored one and McGovern had one cleared off the line by Terry Venables. Rangers then equalized early in the second half, but it was still a good game. The best yet –