"Oh" Grandma clapped, "and I'm happy to announce that Char is just fine! Low blood sugar! Pregnancy messes with you."
"So, she is pregnant?" Jake was probably scared shitless.
"Yup." Grandma beamed. "Grandchild number one, though I gave good ol' Travis an earful about how he clearly isn't doing things right in the bedroom, if Jake and Char are breeding first."
"Breeding?" Beth repeated under her breath.
"At any rate. I'm sure he's just fine now. I explained a few of the mechanics that I'm sure he was confused with. After all, a Grandma knows these things. To think he wasn't even aware of the best positions for conception! I sent him pictures."
"Of?"
"Kama Sutra." Grandma nodded "From the Google."
"Aw hell," I muttered.
"What?" Grandma shrugged innocently.
"Since everything's okay, I guess Beth and I will just go—"
First thought? Drink wine, followed by sex, more wine, more sex, no unplanned pregnancies, and hopefully I'd finally get to pull her hair. Thank God.
"Well, the media is having a frenzy. They watch poor Jake's house like it's Netflix. The story's already been leaked, wouldn't want you guys getting caught up in it."
"Oh." Beth's face fell.
"But never fear." Grandma straightened her jacket and smirked "I've got a plan." She turned the full force of her frightening gaze to me. "How good are you with driving vans?"
Chapter Thirty-six
"So you're saying he kidnapped himself?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"No drugs involved?"
Grandma shrugged. "That van has many uses. I may have hid the rufies under the seat to keep them from the feds, but really, Gus? I panicked!"
"So where is the senator? A reporter saw the van drive off. They saw you get in the van."
Grandma rolled her eyes. "Of course I got in the van. I promised them I'd take them to the airport!"
"The airport?"
"Yes." Grandma yawned. "Really it has been such a pleasure, and I do mean that, Gus, but I have better things to be doing rather than sitting here telling you love stories. If you don't believe me, call this number. I think by now," she checked her watch, "yes, by now the rest of the three days are up."
"Three days?"
"Of course." Grandma stood. "Jace promised Beth six full days of the fairytale, and she only got three. They're in Hawaii, you ass."
Jace
"You sure you're ready for this?" I asked, gripping Beth's hands in mine.
"Yes." She beamed. "I am."
"It's a big risk."
"It's worth it," she whispered.
"Well, then I guess there isn't anything more to say." I grinned. "Shit, shit!"
The donkey moved forward with Beth atop it. Perfectly content that if he were in a race with a turtle, he'd lose by a long shot. He made his way down the small aisle.
I decided to walk alongside Beth and the annoying little ass. It seemed right that it wouldn't be her walking toward me or me waiting for her, but us traveling on the journey together. Because sometimes, that's how love is. It isn't a man chasing a woman, it isn't a man storming the castle, and it isn't the girl waiting for love to happen.
It's two people making a commitment. It's two people realizing that they hold the keys to their own happiness in their own damn hands. The problem? Most people forget that they have the power to live the fairytale. I'd forgotten I had the power, and in the end, I'd been willing to walk away from my future.
Beth had forgotten too.
So we walked hand-in-hand. She on Donkey and I next to them, you know, just in case the little shit got spooked and took off running with my future bride on tow.
"I see you've found it." The ship captain's face lit up with a smile, helping Beth off the donkey and into the boat.
"Found it?"
"You're keiki."
"Keiki?" Beth repeated.
"Long story," I muttered, jumping into the boat.
The captain took us out into the middle of the water and turned off the engine.
"Alright, let's make this quick, shall we?"
"Not very romantic is he?" Beth winked.
"I told him to make it quick," I admitted.
"Why?"
"Because I couldn't care less about saying the words — I just want to show you, what you mean to me. I'm sick and tired of words, Beth. I've been using words my whole career. I think it's time for a little action, don't you?"
"Yes," she said breathless.
"Do you take this woman to be your bride?" The captain asked.
"Yes." My voice rang out loud and clear in the warm afternoon air. "I do."
"And do you take this man to be your husband?" The captain cleared his throat. "You don't have to take him, you know."
"I do." Beth grinned and then said "Thor" under her breath.
"With the power vested in me by the state of Hawaii, I now pronounce you man and wife!" The captain grabbed two beautiful leis and placed one over each of our heads.
"May your womb be fertile," he said happily.
"Um… let's not get carried away." I laughed nervously.
"Grandma specifically said that in order to break the curse, I had to give you a blessing." The captain grinned mischievously. "I bless you with children — lots and lots of children."
"Take it off! Take the lei off!"
"Let it go," Beth whispered. "After all, it's best to just go with it when it comes to Grandma."
"Fine," I grumbled, fingering the damn fertility lei.
"Look on the bright side." Beth wrapped her arms around my waist. "If getting married was going to help your polls, imagine what children would do. Plus, that means we get to have all the sex."
"Side note." I cleared my throat. "If you keep quoting Grandma, I'm going to need one of her magic blue pills in order to perform."
"Aw, no inspiration?"
"None," I grumbled.
"I'm pretty sure I can take care of that." Beth's hot mouth pressed against mine, her tongue coaxing my lips apart.
"Where to?" the captain asked.
I swept Beth into my arms and pointed back to the shore, not wanting to pull my mouth from hers for one damn second. I was going to love her, cherish her, and honor her, and I was going to damn well remember it this time!
"Alrighty, then." The captain chuckled. "Back to the hut it is."
Chapter Thirty-seven
"Hawaii? This whole time? Are you saying you've successfully evaded the FBI and put us on a wild goose chase, all because you wanted to give the senator time to…"
"Play." Grandma stretched "But, of course. Every couple deserves time to discover one another. And I gave them that time."
"But we're the FBI."
"And I'm Grandma." She winked. "It's best to know your place in the world. Oh, and be a dear." She sighed. "Tell the president to call me back when he has a free moment, such a lovely dear man."
The agent blinked and then stood.
The door to the room opened. "Let her go. Her information checked out."
"But—"
"Nadine, we are so very sorry for this inconvenience."
Grandma patted him on the back. "It really is nothing. I'm glad Gus and I could spend some time together. I do love a good love story."
He grinned as Grandma waltzed out of the federal building.