McClay decelerated, downshifted and left Interstate 40.
The car dipped and bumped, and he was aware of the new level of sound from the engine as it geared down for the first time in hours.
He eased in next to a Pontiac Firebird, toed the emergency brake and cut the ignition.
He allowed his eyes to close and his head to sink back into the headrest. At last.
The first thing he noticed was the quiet.
It was deafening. His ears literally began to ring, with the high-pitched whine of a late-night TV test pattern.
The second thing he noticed was a tingling at the tip of his tongue.
It brought to mind a picture of a snake's tongue. Picking up electricity from the air, he thought.
The third was the rustling awake of his wife, in back.
She pulled herself up. "Are we sleeping now? Why are the lights.?"
He saw the outline of her head in the mirror. "It's just a rest stop, hon. I — the car needs a break." Well, it was true, wasn't it? "You want the rest room? There's one back there, see it?"
"Oh my God."
"What's the matter now?"
"Leg's asleep. Listen, are we or are we not going to get a —»
"There's a motel coming up." He didn't say that they wouldn't hit the one he had marked in the book for another couple of hours; he didn't want to argue. He knew she needed the rest — he needed it too, didn't he? "Think I'll have some more of that coffee, though," he said.
"Isn't any more," she yawned.
The door slammed.
Now he was able to recognize the ringing in his ears for what it was: the sound of his own blood. It almost succeeded in replacing the steady drone of the car.
He twisted around, fishing over the back of the seat for the ice chest.
There should be a couple of Cokes left, at least.
His fingers brushed the basket next to the chest, riffling the edges of maps and tour books, by now reshuffled haphazardly over the first-aid kit he had packed himself (tourniquet, forceps, scissors, ammonia inhalants, Merthiolate, triangular bandage, compress, adhesive bandages, tannic acid) and the fire extinguisher, the extra carton of cigarettes, the remainder of a half-gallon of drinking water, the thermos (which Evvie said was empty, and why would she lie?).
He popped the top of a can.
Through the side window he saw Evvie disappearing around the corner of the building. She was wrapped to the gills in her blanket.
He opened the door and slid out, his back aching. He stood there blankly, the unnatural light washing over him.
He took a long, sweet pull from the can. Then he started walking.
The Firebird was empty.
And the next car, and the next.
Each car he passed looked like the one before it, which seemed crazy until he realized that it must be the work of the light. It cast an even, eerie tan over the baked metal tops, like orange sunlight through air thick with suspended particles. Even the windshields appeared to be filmed over with a thin layer of settled dust. It made him think of country roads, sundowns.
He walked on.
He heard his footsteps echo with surprising clarity, resounding down the staggered line of parked vehicles. Finally it dawned on him (and now he knew how tired he really was) that the cars must actually have people in them — sleeping people. Of course. Well hell, he thought, watching his step, I wouldn't want to wake anyone. The poor devils.
Besides the sound of his footsteps, there was only the distant swish of an occasional, very occasional car on the highway; from here, even that was only a distant hush, growing and then subsiding like waves on a nearby shore.
He reached the end of the line, turned back.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw, or thought he saw, a movement by the building.
It would be Evvie, shuffling back.
He heard the car door slam.
He recalled something he had seen in one of the tourist towns in New Mexico: circling the park — in Taos, that was where they had been — he had glimpsed an ageless Indian, wrapped in typical blanket, ducking out of sight into the doorway of a gift shop; with the blanket over his head that way, the Indian had somehow resembled an Arab, or so it had seemed to him at the time.
He heard another car door slam.
That was the same day — was it only last week? — that she had noticed the locals driving with their headlights on (in honor of something or other, some regional election, perhaps: " 'My face speaks for itself,' drawled Herman J. 'Fashio' Trujillo, Candidate for Sheriff"); she had insisted at first that it must be a funeral procession, though for whom she could not guess.
McClay came to the car, stretched a last time, and crawled back in.
Evvie was bundled safely again in the back seat.
He lit a quick cigarette, expecting to hear her voice any second, complaining, demanding that he roll down the windows, at least, and so forth. But, as it turned out, he was able to sit undisturbed as he smoked it down almost to the filter.
Paguate. Bluewater. Thoreau.
He blinked.
Klagetoh. Joseph City. Ash Fork.
He blinked and tried to focus his eyes from the taillights a half-mile ahead to the bug-spattered glass, then back again.
Petrified Forest National Park.
He blinked, refocusing. But it did no good.
A twitch started on the side of his face, close by the corner of his eye.
Rehoboth.
He strained at a road sign, the names and mileages, but instead a seemingly endless list of past and future shops and detours shimmered before his mind's eye.
I've had it, he thought. Now, suddenly, it was catching up with him, the hours of repressed fatigue; he felt a rushing out of something from his chest. No way to make that motel — hell, I can't even remember the name of it now. Check the book. But it doesn't matter. The eyes. Can't control my eyes anymore.
(He had already begun to hallucinate things like tree trunks and cows and Mack trucks speeding toward him on the highway. The cow had been straddling the broken line; in the last few minutes its lowing, deep and regular, had become almost inviting.)
Well, he could try for any motel. Whatever turned up next.
But how much farther would that be?
He ground his teeth together, feeling the pulsing at his temples. He struggled to remember the last sign.
The next town. It might be a mile. Five miles. Fifty.
Think! He said it, he thought it, he didn't know which.
If he could just pull over, pull over right now and lie down for a few minutes —
He seemed to see clear ground ahead. No rocks, no ditch. The shoulder, just ahead.
Without thinking he dropped into neutral and coasted, aiming for it.
The car glided to a stop.
God, he thought.
He forced himself to turn, reach into the back seat.
The lid to the chest was already off. He dipped his fingers into the ice and retrieved two half-melted cubes, lifted them into the front seat and began rubbing them over his forehead.
He let his eyes close, seeing dull lights fire as he daubed at the lids, the rest of his face, the forehead again. As he slipped the ice into his mouth and chewed, it broke apart as easily as snow.
He took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again.
At that moment a huge tanker roared past, slamming an aftershock of air into the side of the car. The car rocked like a boat at sea.
No. It was no good.
So. So he could always turn back, couldn't he? And why not? The Rest Area was only twenty, twenty-five minutes behind him. (Was that all?) He could pull out and hang a U and turn back, just like that. And then sleep. It would be safer there. With luck, Evvie wouldn't even know. An hour's rest, maybe two; that was all he would need.