Unless — was there another Rest Area ahead?
How soon?
He knew that the second wind he felt now wouldn't last, not for more than a few minutes. No, it wasn't worth the chance.
He glanced in the rearview mirror.
Evvie was still down, a lumpen mound of blanket and hair.
Above her body, beyond the rear window, the raised headlights of another monstrous truck, closing ground fast.
He made the decision.
He slid into first and swung out in a wide arc, well ahead of the blast of the truck, and worked up to fourth gear. He was thinking about the warm, friendly lights he had left behind.
He angled in next to the Firebird and cut the lights. He started to reach for a pillow from the back, but why bother? It would probably wake Evvie, anyway.
He wadded up his jacket, jammed it against the passenger armrest, and lay down.
First he crossed his arms over his chest. Then behind his head. Then he gripped his hands between his knees. Then he was on his back again, his hands at his sides, his feet cramped against the opposite door.
His eyes were wide open.
He lay there, watching chain lightning flash on the horizon.
Finally he let out a breath that sounded like all the breaths he had ever taken going out at once, and drew himself up.
He got out and walked over to the rest room.
Inside, white tiles and bare lights. His eyes felt raw, peeled. Finished, he washed his hands but not his face; that would only make sleep more difficult.
Outside again and feeling desperately out of synch, he listened to his shoes falling hollowly on the cement.
"Next week, we've got to get organized…"
He said this, he was sure, because he heard his voice coming back to him, though with a peculiar empty resonance. Well, this time tomorrow night he would be home. As unlikely as that seemed now.
He stopped, bent for a drink from the water fountain.
The footsteps did not stop.
Now, wait, he thought. I'm pretty far gone, but —
He swallowed, his ears popping.
The footsteps stopped.
Hell, he thought, I've been pushing too hard. We. She. No, it was my fault, my plan this time. To drive nights, sleep days. Just so. As long as you can sleep.
Easy, take it easy.
He started walking again, around the comer and back to the lot.
At the corner, he thought he saw something move at the edge of his vision.
He turned quickly to the right, in time for a fleeting glimpse of something — someone — hurrying out of sight into the shadows.
Well, the other side of the building housed the women's rest room. Maybe it was Evvie.
He glanced toward the car, but it was blocked from view. He walked on.
Now the parking area resembled an oasis lit by firelight. Or a western camp, the cars rimming the lot on three sides in the manner of wagons gathered against the night.
Strength in numbers, he thought.
Again, each car he passed looked at first like every other. It was the flat light, of course. And of course they were the same cars he had seen a half hour ago. And the light still gave them a dusty, abandoned look.
He touched a fender.
It was dusty.
But why shouldn't it be? His own car had probably taken on quite a layer of grime after so long on these roads. He touched the next car, the next.
Each was so dirty that he could have carved his name without scratching the paint.
He had an image of himself passing this way again — God forbid — a year from now, say, and finding the same cars parked here. The same ones.
What if, he wondered tiredly, what if some of these cars had been abandoned? Overheated, exploded, broken down one fine midday and left here by owners who simply never returned? Who would ever know? Did the Highway Patrol, did anyone bother to check? Would an automobile be preserved here for months, years, by the elements, like a snakeskin shed beside the highway?
It was a thought, anyway.
His head was buzzing.
He leaned back and inhaled deeply, as deeply as he could at this altitude.
But he did hear something. A faint tapping. It reminded him of running feet, until he noticed the lamp overhead.
There were hundreds of moths beating against the high fixture, their soft bodies tapping as they struck and circled and returned again and again to the lens; the light made their wings translucent.
He took another deep breath and went on to his car.
He could hear it ticking, cooling down, before he got there. Idly he rested a hand on the hood. Warm, of course. The tires? He touched the left front. It was taut, hot as a loaf from the oven. When he took his hand away, the color of the rubber came off on his palm like burned skin.
He reached for the door handle.
A moth fluttered down onto the fender. He flicked it off, his finger leaving a streak on the enamel.
He looked closer and saw a wavy, mottled pattern covering his unwashed car, and then he remembered. The rain, yesterday afternoon. The rain had left blotches in the dust, marking the finish as if with dirty fingerprints.
He glanced over at the next car.
It, too, had the imprint of dried raindrops — but, close up, he saw that the marks were superimposed in layers, over and over again.
The Firebird had been through a great many rains.
He touched the hood.
Cold.
He removed his hand, and a dead moth clung to his thumb. He tried to brush it off on the hood, but other moth bodies stuck in its place. Then he saw countless shriveled, mummified moths pasted over the hood and top like peeling chips of paint. His fingers were coated with the powder from their wings.
He looked up.
High above, backed by banks of roiling cumulus clouds, the swarm of moths vibrated about the bright, protective light.
So the Firebird had been here a very long time.
He wanted to forget it, to let it go. He wanted to get back in the car. He wanted to lie down, lock it out, everything. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up in Los Angeles.
He couldn't.
He inched around the Firebird until he was facing the line of cars. He hesitated a beat, then started moving. A LeSabre. A Cougar. A Chevy van. A Corvair. A Ford. A Mustang.
And every one was overlaid with grit.
He paused by the Mustang. Once — how long ago? — it had been a luminous candy-apple red; probably belonged to a teenager. Now the windshield was opaque, the body dulled to a peculiar shade he could not quite place.
Feeling like a voyeur at a drive-in movie theater, McClay crept to the driver's window.
Dimly he perceived two large outlines in the front seat.
He raised his hand.
Wait.
What if there were two people sitting there on the other side of the window, watching him?
He put it out of his mind. Using three fingers, he cut a swath through the scum on the glass and pressed close.
The shapes were there. Two headrests.
He started to pull away.
And happened to glance into the back seat.
He saw a long, uneven form.
A leg, the back of a thigh. Blond hair, streaked with shadows. The collar of a coat.
And, delicate and silvery, a spider web, spun between the hair and collar.
He jumped back.
His leg struck the old Ford. He spun around, his arms straight. The blood was pounding in his ears.
He rubbed out a spot on the window of the Ford and scanned the inside.
The figure of a man, slumped on the front seat.
The man's head lay on a jacket. No, — it was not a jacket. It was a large, formless stain. In the filtered light, McClay could see that it had dried to a dark brown.
It came from the man's mouth.