He knew she was disturbed by the lack of confirmation of his next appointment: the news of Collingwood's worsening health made the Mediterranean a possibility for the first time, and yet the Admiralty, and some said the King himself, whose mental state was rumoured to be deteriorating, continued to refuse Collingwood's plea for a recall to England.
He discussed the christening with Catherine, and felt even more that something was wrong.
She had come to nestle at his feet, her hair hiding her face as she had said, "Val is so excited about it. He wants to invite all his friends, all those who are in the country at the time." He heard the hesitation as she had added, "Including Adam."
"That is unlikely, Kate. Anemone is very short of hands, I gather. He will likely search further afield for replacements. A frigate captain is at his best when at sea with no admiral to trouble him! "
She had said quietly, "Then I thank God for it." She had looked up at him. "I know you love him like a son, and I feel like a traitor when I tell you these things. But tell you I must. We swore there would be no secrets from the very beginning."
Bolitho had listened without interruption: what she had seen in Adam's face at the wedding in Zennor; how she had heard of his visits to the house and Falmouth, and of an outburst in some coaching inn when Adam had called out a complete stranger for insulting the Bolitho family, but had satisfied his anger by shooting out the flame of a candle in a room full of witnesses. Zenoria had told her that Adam had even visited her recently, had ridden all the way from Portsmouth where Anemone was taking on stores.
Bolitho had stroked her hair to calm her but his mind had been in turmoil. What was the matter with him that he had not noticed something on the long haul back from the Caribbean? Did he see only what he wanted to see? His nephew had always been a restless one, from the very first day he had joined his ship as a skinny midshipman. He had never thought of him as being much like his brother Hugh. And yet… Hugh had always had a quick temper and could not hold down a grudge without showing it. Captain James, their father, had referred to it as bad blood, but surely there was more to it than that.
Catherine had exclaimed, "Zenoria needs to have a house of her own, somewhere she can be herself. She is young, dear
Richard, but her experiences have given her an eagerness for life that Keen's family do not understand."
The day of the christening arrived, and as promised they had driven down to the great house, where many friends both local and from London came to pay their respects to the child named Perran Augustus, the latter after Keen's father. There was not enough room to accommodate everyone in the small village church but there was food and drink in the grounds of the house to serve a regiment.
Bolitho had promised to give no hint to Zenoria that he knew part of her secret. If Valentine Keen ever discovered the truth, or even some twisted rumour of it, there was no telling where it might end.
There were several incidents, trivial in their separate ways, but enough to make them glad they had decided to drive back to Chelsea on the same day. The first had occurred at the laying-out of the many presents brought by well-wishers, some of great value or handed down in a family, others notable for their warmth, like the fine carved hobby-horse, its card written in Ozzard's pinched hand to show it was a gift from Allday, who with Bolitho had been introduced to the gathering by Keen as "The two men who saved my life when I thought all was lost."
It had happened before they had all gone to the church, and the room's door had been ajar so that Bolitho had not been able to ignore the angry voice of Keen's father.
"Sometimes I think you are a damned fool! A King's captain and a brave one you certainly are but sense? You don't have the sense you were born with! " Catherine had pulled at his arm, but Bolitho had heard the voice continue. "Why not wait to see how the boy develops, eh? I'd like to think his name might follow mine in the City, or in the profession of law. I don't want to see him on the roll of killed or missing! "
The cause of his anger was Keen's gift to his tiny son: a beautifully fashioned midshipman's dirk 'to wear one day with pride'. When Keen had shown it to them Bolitho had seen the shaft of despair on Zenoria's features, had seen her quick glance at Catherine, perhaps her only true friend.
His disturbing thoughts continued. He recalled when he had found Adam drinking heavily in the cabin when they had been homeward bound. Was that only two months ago? I should have known, challenged him myself.
Another incident, perhaps to be expected. A woman had approached Bolitho and after a defiant glance at Catherine announced loudly, "I took tea with your wife some days ago in London, Sir Richard. Such an enjoyable occasion! "
Two bright patches of colour had burned on her cheeks as Bolitho had answered quietly, "For you, I daresay it would be."
He had seen the expressions and sensed the nudges among the guests, but others from the villages had shown genuine pleasure at meeting them together for the first time.
"Don't you let him go back, my dear! Let some of the others do their dirty work instead! "
An anonymous voice had called from the rear, "Huzza for our Dick an' 'is lovely lady! "
Obviously a sailor, probably one who had served with Bolitho at some time. It was like a ghost calling out for all the others who would never see his face again.
In the carriage again with Allday sitting opposite, fast asleep and smelling strongly of rum, Catherine asked softly, "Shall we know soon?"
Bolitho squeezed her arm. She did not have to explain. It was always there like a threat, while they made each hour of every day their own.
He said, "I think so. Sir Paul Sillitoe has spoken of a new flag lieutenant, so I suspect he knows more than he is prepared to tell."
"Will you take his nephew?"
"I'm not sure. Sometimes it is better not to know people too well, to care for them in a way which can hurt, even harm." He hesitated. "We have discussed the Indian Ocean too much for coincidence. A quick campaign to cut out further attacks on our shipping."
"That will mean returning to Cape Town?"
They both fell silent, each reliving the nightmare of the shipwreck.
He said, "It will be in a King's ship this time. We shall stand well clear of the hundred-mile reef! "
She pressed closer and said, "I wish I could be there, wherever they send you."
He watched the houses passing in the red glow of sunset and wondered how many sailors and would-be admirals had rolled along this very road.
"A friend at the Admiralty told me that Adam's ship will sail under orders very soon. He thinks it will be to Gibraltar."
He thought of Adam's face when he had remarked, "On my birthday last year I was kissed by a lady." He ought to have realised what he had meant, when in response to his question Adam had said that he did not think anyone really knew the lady. It had been tearing him apart even then. How much worse it would become if he could not learn to control his feelings.
He added, "I will speak with him, Kate. Whenever I think it prudent."
But she had fallen asleep against his shoulder.
Three days after the christening Bolitho received his expected summons to the Admiralty.
Catherine had insisted that she should accompany him, and he was surprised that he had made no protest. If they were to be parted in the name of duty, he wanted needed every possible moment with her.
The day was fine and warm with some of those who walked and loitered in the tree-lined squares wilting in the dusty sunshine.
Bolitho watched as she descended the staircase with Sophie hovering behind her.
She looked directly into his face. "Well, dearest of men? Will it suit?" She wore a gown of deep blue which almost matched his own coat, with facings of gold lace. "The admiral's lady, or his woman in any case! " She flicked open the fan he had brought her from Madeira to hide the lower half of her face, so that her eyes seemed overpowering. Beneath the fan only the shadow between her breasts moved to show her true emotion.