There was no response when I knocked on Nat’s door.
“Nat?” I said. “It’s me. Cal.”
I opened the door into another room just like the one I had woken up in. The light from the hall spread across a small form curled up into a ball on the bed. Part of me thought I should just close the door and leave her be, that she’d come out when she was ready. But then I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.
“Nat?”
I sat down on the edge of the bed. Her back was to me and I hesitated a moment before reaching out and touching her shoulder.
“Hey.”
When she didn’t respond, I moved closer. Her eyes were open, staring blankly at the dark wall in front of her. She was still in her clothes from the day before, a sweat- and blood-stained T-shirt and jeans. They had wiped the blood and dirt off her face and bandaged up the deeper cuts, but I couldn’t be sure she wasn’t hurt worse, somewhere I couldn’t see.
“Are you injured?” I asked. “Natalie?”
She was motionless for a long time, and then she moved her head slowly from side to side.
“Do you want something to eat?”
Again she shook her head.
“Water?”
Nat’s eyes shut and her body seized as if she had been hit with an electric shock. Her knees rose up tighter to her chest. She looked like she was trying to disappear.
I drew away, but before my feet could hit the floor, Nat’s fingers had encircled my wrist. She was still facing away from me, curled up like a seedpod, one arm reaching back. I eased back onto the bed and drew my legs up, lying just behind her. There was only a thin border of darkness between us.
“I think I’m going crazy,” she said. Her voice sounded like it was coming from a hundred miles away.
“You’re not going crazy.”
“I just keep seeing it. Over and over.”
I lifted a hand to smooth her hair along her forehead, which was damp despite the air-conditioned chill in the room. I searched for something else to say, hoping to stumble across something that would help push her out of the moment she was trapped in, but I knew it was pointless. I slipped my other arm, awkward in its cast, underneath her. My fingers pressed into her shoulder and drew her close until her back touched my bare chest. I closed my eyes and we lay there until our breath fell into sync and my heart pulsed against hers.
“Hey.”
I turned to find Kate standing in the doorway.
“Can I come in?”
Nat had been sleeping for about an hour. Her breathing, ragged and shaking at first, had calmed. I nodded and Kate came in with a pile of folded laundry in her hands.
“I washed your clothes,” she said, setting them down on the bed. “I also brought her some of mine, if she wants to change. They should fit, I think.”
Bear’s collar sat on top of the pile. I set it aside, then reached for my shirt, pausing at a flowery scent coming off of it.
Kate laughed. “It’s lavender. Sorry, we only have girly detergent. Drives the guys crazy walking around smelling like flowers all the time.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Thanks.” I slipped it on and finished dressing. When I was done, I stuffed Bear’s collar back in my pocket.
“Oh, look who’s here!” Kate exclaimed.
Nails clacked against the floor in the hall and then Bear leapt onto the bed and piled into me. He sniffed at every inch of me, burying his head underneath my arm, his butt wiggling. I rubbed his ears, then wrapped my arms around him and dropped my face into his neck. He smelled soapy and warm. A lump formed in my throat and I had to swallow hard to get rid of it.
“Jumped in the lake with us like he was a puppy,” she said. “He even liked it when we threw him in the tub for a bath. We didn’t have any dog food, so we fed him some hamburger we had sitting around. He pretty much ate a whole cow.”
Bear settled down into my lap, licking contentedly at the palm of my hand.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“South Dakota,” Kate said. “This is our friend Alec’s house — well, one of his parents’ houses. You’ll meet him later.”
“So you’re all Fed?”
“I guess so. We’re not very political.”
I looked up at her. “But you have soldiers here. You said Sergeant Mitchell.”
“He’s the head of our security. Alec’s parents hired him and his guys to look after us when they decided we’d be safer here than in California.”
“Have you heard what’s going on in Wyoming? Did it fall?”
“I haven’t heard anything about it,” she said. “But I was just coming to tell you we’re getting supper together out on the back deck. Nothing big, just burgers and stuff, but it’s a nice night. You should come and join us. Both of you.”
I turned back and saw that Nat was awake. She lay in the dark watching Kate silently.
“Sure,” I said. “Yeah. That’d be good.”
“Okay,” Kate said. “Cool. I’m just going to hit the shower and then we’ll get started.”
Kate gave my leg a pat and padded barefoot out of the room. Bear glanced up as she went, then resettled. Above us the air conditioner cycled on, breathing cool air out into the room.
“I’m fine,” Nat said. “You go ahead.”
“You should eat.”
“I’m not hungry. I just want to rest. Okay?”
Music started up out in the house, filtering down through the hallways. A thump of bass pulsing beneath an electric fuzz. Silverware clinked together brightly.
I stared down at her lying motionless in the dark. “I’ll bring you something back.”
Bear jumped up to follow when I moved off the bed, but I nodded over toward Nat and he returned to her, crawling his way to the crook of her arm. Nat tried to shove him away, but he was persistent, wriggling closer until he had his nose buried in her neck. Finally she lifted one hand and began to stroke his side. I closed the door behind me and went out into the house.
Everyone fell silent when I slid open the screen door that led to the porch.
Kate was sitting on the opposite side of a large wrought-iron table with a magazine in her lap. Beside her, an Asian girl with a tattoo peeking out of her collar was drawing in a black leather-bound sketch pad. Reese sat across from them, slumped in his chair. The sun was just starting to fall, spreading golden light over all of them.
“Well, hello there!”
A stocky guy with exuberantly mussed blond hair stood at the head of the table, a bottle dangling from his fingers.
“Before you come any closer,” he said, moving behind Reese and planting his hands on his shoulders, “I have to ask: Do you intend to follow through on stabbing this young man in the face?”
“Alec!” Kate said.
“Keep in mind that none of us are against this,” he said. “I myself have always despised him because he’s so much better looking than me. A good facial scar might take him down a peg.”
The girl next to Kate spoke up, surprising me with a British accent. “Sorry, Alec, a good facial scar would just make Reese look tough as well as handsome.”
“Thank you, Diane,” Reese said.
Alec balled up his napkin and threw it at Diane’s head. “We have to stick together, D!” Alec mock whispered. “He’s prettier than you too!”
Diane laughed, then went back to drawing in her sketch pad.
“Over here, Cal,” Kate said, patting the chair beside her. “Me and D will be like insulation between you and our obnoxious host.”
“Obnoxious! Did you hear that, Reese? She called me obnoxious!”
“It’s almost hard to believe.”
I moved self-consciously around the porch as Reese and Alec argued playfully. The table was littered with food wrappers and green glass bottles covered in French writing.