After everything she’d told him, he felt as if he could lose her at any moment. As if someone would take her from him, and she would wake up in that cave in Greece, unable to remember him or this kiss.
They were both shirtless, and when her breasts brushed his chest, he hissed out a breath. The kiss never slowed, their tongues continually rolling, seeking, demanding. Possess…own… He cupped her ass and slammed her against him, the rubbing becoming a frantic seeking. A fever.
No, not a fever. His blood was on fire, true, racing through his veins with a swiftness that would have killed a lesser man, but the woman he held was becoming colder with every second that passed. Her skin was like ice, her mouth the storm, and as he sucked on her tongue, that icy storm filled him.
The demons had been hiding in the back of his mind, afraid to make themselves known. Now they shrieked, her touch affecting them as if they’d just been hooked to an electric generator. Each one—and gods, there were hundreds—scrambled through his head, doing their best to avoid the renewing of Haidee’s pull…the unavoidable cold.
Finally the kiss slowed…slowed…and then Haidee leaned back. “Are you okay?” Soft knuckles stroked his cheek.
Just need…a moment… Amun closed his eyes and settled on his haunches, inhaling unhurriedly, exhaling with care. Every muscle in his body was locked in a desperate tug-of-war with his bones, lancing thousands of aches through every part of him. All at the same time. From the demons, yes, but also from unfulfilled desire. He hadn’t been ready to stop.
“My internal thermometer gets the better of me sometimes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to—I could feel it… I’m sorry,” she said again, a trace of misery in her tone. “I’ll control it, I promise.”
No apologies, he told her. You did nothing wrong. Besides, I like it.
He wasn’t sure why the demons were calmed by her one moment, then roused by her the next. He wasn’t sure how she pulled on them or why they reacted that way, but he would puzzle over the answer later. With the distance between him and Haidee—minute though it was—the heat returned to him and the demons ceased fighting so stringently. For the moment, that was enough.
Secrets, though, had remained unaffected throughout the entire ordeal. Amun didn’t think his soul-companion had liked the change in temperature, but the beast hadn’t been—and still wasn’t, because yes, Amun planned to have another go at his woman—screeching in fear. His woman.
The phrase delighted him in a way he never would have expected. But she was. His. In every way that mattered—and soon in every way imaginable. His friends wouldn’t understand. Might even hate him, might consider him a traitor. He couldn’t make himself care. Just then, her well-being came before his own.
The change in his mind-set was radical, even to him, and he wasn’t quite used to it yet. That didn’t lessen the impact, though. He’d held her in his lap, listened to her story of loss, had heard the heartbreak in her voice, and something inside him had broken. He’d begun to comprehend the truth. They were alike in so many ways. Determined, constantly bombarded by the worst the world had to offer—people, places, circumstances—yet finding joy where they could.
He wanted this woman. Would have her. And yeah, maybe he was driven purely by desire right now, convincing himself of feelings he wouldn’t normally entertain to ease the shame of being with the enemy, but he didn’t think so.
“Maybe it’s best that we stopped,” she whispered on a trembling breath. “I—I still can’t sleep with you.”
Amun’s eyelids sprang open, and he knew flickers of firelight showcased the dark menace in his eyes. Because of him? he demanded.
“Yes. I won’t cheat.”
He popped his jaw. When did you last sleep with him? With every new word, there had been an increase of rage in his voice.
“I didn’t. Not once.”
The rage vanished in a blink. Had she said yesterday, he would have wanted her still—he doubted anything could change that—but knowing Micah hadn’t touched her in that way stoked his new sense of possession. When you dated him, you thought he was me, he reminded her.
“Yes.”
Amun gripped her hips, urged her forward and rubbed against her. Then you are cheating on me by staying true to him.
She moaned, her eyelids drifting to half-mast. When he forced her to steady, she nibbled on her bottom lip, white teeth sinking deep. “Maybe I am, but there’s still a note of dishonesty there. So, no sex. Not until I tell him we’re over. But…”
But Amun could kiss her, she was saying. The rage returned full-force. Kissing is a form of cheating, Haidee. He knew how he would react if he caught her kissing another man. Blood would flow.
Her shoulders sagged, her expression suddenly tortured. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know you’re right. You just make me so…hot. We’ll stop, then. For good. Until—just until.”
Break up with him in your mind. Now.
“In my heart and in my mind, he and I are done already. But I have to tell him, Amun. He deserves to know. I know you won’t believe me, but he’s a good man.”
Amun had just realized he would do anything to protect this woman, even give up life as he knew it, simply to be with her. Yet she couldn’t let go of an old boyfriend for him. Not completely. While part of him admired such loyalty, the other part wanted that loyalty directed only at himself.
No sex, she’d said, and now, because of what he’d said, no kissing, either. Well, then, by the gods, he would do everything else. Scowling, he caught her by the back of her knees and jerked, tossing her to her back. She landed on the flower petals, their softness cushioning the blow. Before she could suck in a breath, he was atop her, shoving her legs apart and fitting himself against her.
Don’t cheat me, Haidee. Don’t cheat me. Please.
She groaned, as if in pain, and then she settled. “I—I—maybe I’m a terrible person, but I need you to kiss me. Please.”
Not terrible. Perfect. In that moment, he found he could deny her nothing. So, kiss her? Yes, even though he’d thought to balance the scale. Their mouths met in a frenzied tangle, licking, sucking, biting. As promised, she kept her temperature under control. Still cold, but never freezing. How she did so, he didn’t know. And he didn’t like that she couldn’t let go completely, that she had to remain guarded.
When this was over, he vowed, when he’d gotten rid of the demons inside him, he would have her. All of her. The cold and every inch of her luscious body. Even her heart. He would shield his own, of course—wanting her, needing her, that was fine, but he would be owned by no one—but by gods, he absolutely would have hers.
He unsnapped her jeans and kicked them down her legs…off. She didn’t protest, didn’t try to stop him. She trusted him not to cross the line she had drawn. Again he found himself torn, liking that she trusted him, hating that she didn’t crave more from him despite everything against them, as he did. Hating that she had him addicted to her, but didn’t seem to be addicted to him.
Well, he would just have to change that.
Amun kissed and nibbled his way to her breasts and once again laved her nipples. When she was writhing, hips lifting, greedy for a touch, any touch, he worked his way to her navel. There, he tormented her with fleeting, gentle bites while his fingers toyed with the band of her panties, at her waist, around her thighs, but never stroking where she needed him most.
“Amun…baby…please.”
Begging now. Good, that was good. What he’d wanted. Yet, his body ached with such unfulfilled desire, he wasn’t sure he would live through this encounter. Sweat beaded on his brow, his skin pulled taut and consuming need blistered him inside and out.