It didn’t take me long to return to the hanging caravan, but the two old ladies and Dawnie were gone. The trapdoor in the floor was open and the end of the rope ladder had been left tied to one of the rocking chairs. I imagined how Junilla and Leonilla, hauling their possessions and bickering incessantly, were descending the ladder rung by rung, with Dawnie following curiously behind. Somewhere, much lower down where the stars were falling, they would bump into the woman with the Kroger bags and she would say, Well, imagine that. I was just looking for you.
I swung my legs over the edge of the trapdoor and grabbed the first rung. Beneath my feet, the ladder was calmly swaying and fading in the mist. I took a deep breath and started down, keeping my eyes closed as if I was sleepwalking. Droplets of fog condensed on my eyelashes. When I opened my eyes again, the Earth’s surface had disappeared and all I could see above me were the hazy contours of the caravan. Then, even they were gone.
Now, I am alone, in the mist.
Were you thinking of me? And if you could have seen me descend, would you have wondered where the rope ladder leads? But then I would tell you it doesn’t matter. What matters is the path you take, the journey you make. Once you realize that, it’s easier to let go, at the end.
I think I want you to know that you hurt me so incredibly badly, Sophie. Now I’m going down the ladder. Searching for solid ground beneath my feet. It’s not easy. I’m terrified of what I will find down there. But I close my eyes and keep descending. Sometimes the ropes shake and I imagine it’s you following me, somewhere up there in the fog. But maybe it’s just the wind. And I realize I don’t care either way. I am somebody, too.
Down here, we are all falling stars.
About the Authors
Dutch novelist Thomas Olde Heuvelt (1983) is the author of five novels and many short stories of the fantastic. His short fiction has appeared in English, Dutch, Polish and Chinese and has been awarded the Paul Harland Prize (for best Dutch fantasy) on three occasions, received an honorable mention in the Science Fiction & Fantasy Translation Awards and was nominated for the Hugo Award for Best Novelette in 2013 for The Boy Who Cast No Shadow. In English, his short fiction has appeared from Tor.com, Oxygen Books, and PS Publishing. Recently, Jonathan Strahan selected his story “The Ink Readers of Doi Saket” for The Best Science Fiction and Fantasy of the Year. Olde Heuvelt’s novel HEX, which became a bestseller in The Netherlands, will be out in the US and Canada with Macmillan/Tor in 2015, while Hodder & Stoughton will publish in the UK and Australia. Read more at en.oldeheuvelt.com.
Lia Belt was born in 1969 and lives in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Originally a translator of mostly industry manuals from English and German into the Dutch language, a little over ten years ago she started translating fiction for several publishers in the Netherlands. She translates fantasy from authors such as Robert Jordan, Stan Nicholls, David Hair, and Raymond Feist for Dutch readers, but also children’s books, science fiction, young adult, and thrillers. Every now and then she also tries her hand at translating fiction into the English language for Dutch authors who want to find a wider audience for their work.
Copyright
Published in Lightspeed April 2014 (Issue 47)
© 2014 by Thomas Olde Heuvelt.