Trisha and Paddy sat next to each other on a banquette facing the large room. It was pleasant not to have to look at each other. Between them and the windows onto George Square groups of businessmen in dark suits were clustered around tables eating huge plates of chips with fish or cottage pie washed down with pints of lager. Everyone had neon green peas on their plates but no one seemed to be eating them.
“This looks very dear,” muttered Trisha. “There’s a café across the road.”
“I can charge it to the room. The paper’ll pay for it. Would you like some lunch?”
Every day in living memory Trisha had a plate of soup and two boiled eggs mashed up in a cup for her lunch. She looked at a neighboring plate. “I couldn’t eat all that at lunchtime.”
“You don’t need to eat it all, you could have some and leave the rest.”
“That’s wasteful. I’ll just have tea.” She slipped her coat off. She was wearing a smart white nylon blouse she usually saved for mass.
The waitress took their order for two teas and biscuits, and a plate of chips for Paddy’s breakfast, and then Trisha lifted the plastic bags onto the bench between them.
“Now, I’ve brought you some clean clothes and your toothbrush and a carton of soup.”
Paddy smiled into the bag at the Tupperware tub. Trisha had carried the heavy carton all the way from Eastfield. It was a broth, a vegetable with marrow fat peas, flecked with pink gammon. Soup featured in every Meehan family meal but breakfast. Recipes were passed from mother to daughter. Soup had a talismanic quality: the poor man’s filler, source of vegetables, and, because it took so much time to chop the veg and soak the peas and featured meat, a shorthand for loving concern in a family where affection was never spoken of. “Ma, where am I going to heat soup?”
“Is there not a stove at work?”
“Come on, I’d look like a right diddy standing over a pan heating soup.” She meant to tease her mum for her eccentricity but Trisha took it as a slight.
“But I made it for you.” Her eyes filled up. She took a hankie from her sleeve and dabbed at her nose as the waitress put the order on the table in front of them.
Paddy stroked her arm when the waitress had left. “Don’t cry, Ma.”
Trisha covered her mouth and cried some more. “Why are you here?”
“I told you why, Ma, because we’re working on a big story and I need to be near the office.”
“Why are you asking me to look out for that car, then? Are you in danger?”
“No.” Paddy had tried to make light of it but her mother could read and had seen the paper. “Billy’s fine. He’s getting out of hospital today. They just exaggerate it to make it a better story. There’s nothing to worry about.”
But Trisha carried on crying, fighting it, biting her hankie at one stage. Paddy had sat through enough of her crying pangs recently to know it wasn’t really about her. She poured tea for them, putting in a sugar for her mum and stirring it, setting a nice biscuit with chocolate on it on her saucer as a prompt. She picked at the chips but didn’t really want them. The smoky room made her feel a bit sick.
Trisha sighed and picked up the biscuit and looked at it. Dried coconut speckled the chocolate. “I’m sorry for crying.”
“It’s all right, Mum.”
“I don’t really mean it half the time.”
“I know, Ma, I know.”
They drank their tea quietly together, watching the businessmen eating. Every so often Paddy patted her mum’s leg and Trisha said, “Uch aye.”
“I wish you were home.” Trisha sipped her tea. “Can you get home before Saturday? Father Marian’s arranged for Mary Ann to go to Taizi on Saturday. She’s going to France .”
“I’ll try. That’ll be nice. France isn’t that far away.” Paddy had read about the Christian community in Taizi and it looked like as much fun as could be had on a retreat. They did a lot of singing, apparently, guitars featured heavily in the pamphlets, and met other young people from abroad. They ate foreign food in a tented canteen. “It’s all young people there; maybe she’ll meet a nice boy.”
Trisha smiled into her cup. “Mary Ann’s not interested in boys. She’s thinking she might have a vocation. She’s looked at the Poor Clares.”
Paddy had known it was coming, that Mary Ann was teetering on the brink of declaring herself interested in the religious life. The Poor Clares went about at night foisting watery soup on homeless people. The ones Paddy had met always kept their eyes down and had winsome, obsequious smiles. “She might still meet a boy.”
But Paddy knew Mary Ann would love Taizi. She’d like the discipline of prayer and the ecumenical nature of the place. She wouldn’t be sharing a room with someone who bared her breasts and swore while she prayed. Paddy would miss her silent presence, her giggling, and the sound of her breath as she slept. She’d never felt the same about her brothers or Caroline. Mary Ann was exclusively hers. She thought of Kate and Vhari, two sisters, the older one compliant, the younger a defiant little spitfire who brought ruin on the others.
“How’s Caroline?”
Trisha tutted and sighed.
“Not gone back to him?”
She tutted again.
“Maybe she shouldn’t, Ma.”
“Well, she shouldn’t have got married, then.”
Paddy nibbled a coconut biscuit. “The story we’re working on: the police went to the door of a house and saw a girl covered in blood but they left and the man killed her. They thought it was her husband. John must have beat Caroline something awful-”
“She should not have married him, then,” said Trisha firmly.
“But, Mum, she did.”
“For better or worse.”
Paddy picked up a chip and took a bite. “What if he kills her, Ma? What if you send her back and he kills her?”
Trisha slapped Paddy on the thigh. “Don’t talk rubbish.”
“Seriously, what if he murders Caroline? How bad are you going to feel if he does that?”
Trisha turned to look her in the eye. “It’s a sacrament, Patricia, a vow in front of God. Ye can’t just change your mind and leave. You and your women’s lib.”
“Oh, God, Mother, don’t start all that-”
“Well.” Trisha put her cup down noisily in the saucer. “You’ve missed your chance with Sean over a job, a job, for heaven’s sake, and now he’ll be married soon and he’s got a good job and could have kept ye fine.”
Paddy was so surprised she dropped the half-eaten chip onto the floor. “What do you mean ‘be married soon’?”
“He proposed to Elaine, did he not tell ye? The minute he got that driving job he proposed and she’s accepted. Mimi Ogilvy’s taken up residence outside the chapel telling everyone. Did he not say?”
“No.” She tried to hide her disappointment. “He never said.”
Elaine was a squeaky mediocre pest but Paddy could hardly blame Sean. Since she broke off their engagement she’d slept with three men and knew Sean was waiting until he got married. He must have been as horny as hell. She knew how much that could warp her own judgment. Mary Ann was leaving and now Sean wasn’t hers anymore. For the first time ever she saw herself as alone.
“Who are you going to get now?”
“I’m only twenty-one, Mother, there are other men in the world.”
“Aye, we’ll see, anyway.”
They finished their tea but Paddy left the rest of the chips untouched.
At the door of the hotel she took the plastic bags from Trisha and felt she was leaving her forever. She followed her down into the street, running after her.