I studied his face and wondered who he was. Clearly he was an oath-sworn rebel, to have come with Conall. He couldn't be older than his mid twenties in human years, making him ancient as a fairy. He felt dangerous, vicious. In comparison Conall's presence was timid.
"You know boy-vampire," he continued. "When a fairy speaks it can only speak the truth."
I blinked at that. I'd lied out of my ass a thousand times before.
"Yes, I know this. Just as I know Rae will do her best to return to me."
I felt my face flush and my heart thump too hard. He was standing up for me, and I liked that he had such a high opinion.
Breandan tipped my face to his and peered at me. I avoided his eyes.
"Let's go," he said. He released me and stood, slowly, nodding his head at Conall to say thank you. The fairies drifted a few paces away then waited for me.
Tomas and I stared at each other. We had been through so much together in so short a time. To be parted from him would hurt me, I was sure of it.
He saw my confusion. "Go with your kind," he said.
I stood, and rubbed my hands on my thighs. I avoided looking at him. "Where will you go?"
"Back to my nest."
"Uh, you'll be okay? I mean, you'll make it back there with no problems? I'd hate for anything toit's just I don't like the idea of " Gods, it was pathetic. Why could I not just spit it out?
He stepped closer. "You owe me," he said in a low voice.
"I'll see you again, and pay my debt. I promise." A bird screeched nearby and I looked to the east. I frowned, worried. The sky was getting much lighter. "You'll need to find a dark place."
He reached for my hand. "A safe place."
"Rae," Breandan called. "Come now."
Tomas stopped reaching for my hand, and instead leaned forward to whisper into my ear, "I'll find you."
He blended into the shadows and was gone. There was a peculiar feeling on my mouth. I pressed my hand to my lips and they were cold, plumping back up as if they had given under pressure.
When I turned round, Conall beckoned to me with a grin, and took off behind the fairy-man. Breandan waited for me then we ran too. My thoughts lingered on Tomas. Our goodbye had felt wrong. Incomplete.
Breandan ran for a long time without saying a word and that was fine by me. He kept sneaking looks my way. Opening then closing his mouth. Sighing. He said, "Will you explain why I feel a connection between you and the vampire?"
"No," I said simply. "It's separate, from us and not something I can discuss with you."
He didn't like that. He darted in front of me and pushed me back by the shoulder. It was not meant to hurt me, or knock me down, but in his anger he went to far. I tried to swing the force from falling to my advantage, and roll back up, but I was not nearly skilled enough. I hit the floor face first, and spat a leaf out of my mouth. Huh. Looked like we were going to have it out right there and then. I had wanted to give him some time, since he'd only just been brought back from the brink of death, but clearly he had something to get off his chest. Getting annoyed at his high-handedness would get me nowhere. We'd been here before too, him pulling and chucking me around like I was unbreakable.
I stood up and faced him. "What do you remember?" I asked shortly. "After the explosion what do you remember?"
He paused, eyes far away. A spasm rippled across his features as his eyes flicked to me. "There was pain in my stomach and my strength was gone. The pain was from iron." He shuddered. "I heard you call to me but I could not answer then there was darkness."
"That's it?"
"Then, there was more pain. Mine and yours." His eyes sparked anger. "You shared all you are to keep me alive. Do not do it again."
"No," I said and looked him in the eye. "I know my own mind, I can-"
"— take care of myself," he finished. He sighed and looked away, eyes becoming unfocused. His brows mashed together. I didn't like how it scrunched his eyes and smoothed out the furrows. "Conall healed me," he continued. "It was unpleasant. Then there was only you. You glowed like the sun." His face had taken on a look of awe.
I shook my head; worried he got it wrong. "Not me," I corrected. "You glowed, not me."
His eyes softened. "Trust me, your light is like no other. I woke to find you whole. Close to me."
He smiled and I blinked. His teeth were sharper than normal teeth, fang-like. Even shown in a smile they were scary. I ran my tongue around my mouth and corrected myself. Our teeth were fang-like.
"You want me to fill in the blanks?" He nodded. I thought about how best to break everything to him. "You want the good or the bad first?"
"I am aware the vampire has fed from you." His jaw was tight with distaste. "He attacked you?"
My anger had cooled down some, and I hesitated. I took my worry out on my bottom lip. "Tomas saved me," I said slowly, knowing his pride was going to swell and shatter the peace. "He saved you.
He stiffened. "No."
"You owe him your life."
"I owe that scavenger nothing."
"You're not thinking clearly. You're seeing things warped by jealousy."
"Jealousy." His face was incredulous. "I am not jealous of that-"
I put my hands over my ears. "Don't."
His body quaked with repressed anger as he struggled to contain his reaction. "You and I are bonded. Do you understand what that means?" Teeth clamped together his words sounded short and punchy.
"Yes, and I accept it."
"Then how could you do this?" He roared. "You hid the monster the we tried to protect you from, the monster that killed my sister."
Eyes wide, I shook my head. "No," I said and sucked in a breath. "Breandan, you can't blame him for something he had no part in."
"His scent was all over the forest. We found a pool of Maeve's blood and nothing else makes sense."
He needed to know the truth. If not he would hunt Tomas, and I couldn't have that.
"I never lied to you, but I never told you the truth," I said and swallowed hard. "I'm not good, y'know, and I never pretended to be. Maeve," I said, coming round to the point. "She's dead and I watched her die." The words tumbled into the empty air and hung heavy. Remnants of confusion drained from Breandan's face, leaving a mask of pure horror, and the expression was horrible to see. I cast my gaze down to the floor. "This morning, when you found me, I was running from the Clerics that killed her. I found them torturing her. She saw me, even in the dark and she told me to run." Evidence of my pain streamed down my cheeks and ran into my mouth. "It's my fault. They shot her, and it's my fault."
"No. My fault." He scrapped a hand over his face, eyes burning. "Maeve was there because I was obsessed with keeping you safe. She was too young for such a charge, to guard you, but she is so stubborn and persistent and I-"
His face crumpled, his body was racked with a sob.
"I'm sorry," I said and reached to touch him.
He flinched so hard it shocked me to still. Growling darkly, he backed away from me. The silence stretched on and on and on, and I thought I would drown in the hurt in his eyes
I scrubbed at my cheeks. "Please," I whispered. "Please, understand why I couldn't tell you. I was afraid. You were this strange demon and I was lost. You were showing me the way back to safety. If I told you what had happened you know you would have done something regrettable."
His fingers curled into claws and a wild look twisted his face. "You knew how I worried, and you knew she was my sister. You, said, nothing."
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, to explain but there were no words. What I had done was selfish and cruel. I was a coward. I reached out to him again and he knocked my hand away. He paced before striding up to me and clamping his hands down on my arms. He stared into my face and squeezed me until I thought my bones would break. Instinct took over. I pulled my lips back to bare my teeth as a hiss rumbled out of my throat. I held my ground until his face fell into some semblance of human again. Storm clouds rolled in Breandan's eyes and lighting flashed in mine, but then the desire to fight him drained. I was left empty. His eyes widened, realizing his grip was hurting me, and he dropped my arms as if contact with me would infect him.