The woman came back and cleaned the place; she made the bed and removed the ashes from the fireplace, laying another.
I wanted to scream out because it all seemed so normal. It was as though I were a visitor in some friend’s house.
She said: “I’ll bring up your dejeuner at half past twelve if that suits.”
I said: “How am I to know it has not been treated with something which would not be good for me?”
“I’ve had no orders,” she said seriously.
I wanted to laugh in a rather hysterical way, I knew, so I suppressed it.
She brought in the food. It was a delicious soup with meat and salad and fruit.
Oddly enough, I could eat it, and in due course she came to collect the tray.
“I should have a little rest,” she said.
“You need it … to sleep off what we had to give you. You’ll be tired still.”
It’s mad, I thought. Am I really in this incongruous position? “
I obeyed her though and lay on the bed. I did sleep long and deep; and when I awoke my first thought was: He will come again. Of course he will come again. Otherwise, why should they hold me here.
At dusk it was the woman who came. She brought more water for me to wash. I did so. I heard her in the dining-room and when I went to see what she was doing-for she seemed a long time-I found her setting the table for two. There was a silver candelabrum in the centre.
I thought: Then I am expected to sup with him as though all was well between us.
I would never do that. I would refuse to sit down with him.
I went back to the bedroom and stood by the barred window. I tried to shake the bars, but they were firmly embedded in the stone. I wondered then how many had stood at that window in desperation. I wondered what tortures had been inflicted on them in this place.
Who would have believed this could happen in these days? How easily people slipped back into savagery. That man did not have to slip back.
He had never been anything else but a savage.
There was a movement behind me and he was there, smiling at me.
He was dressed in a robe not unlike my own. It was deep blue and, like mine, the sleeves were edged with fur, as was the hem.
“You could never break those,” he said.
“They were made to withstand any onslaught.” He came towards me. I turned sharply away, but he caught me firmly and tried to kiss me. For a second or so I eluded him, then he released me but caught me again, taking my face in his two hands, finding my mouth and holding me in a hideous embrace.
Oh God, help me, I thought, it’s beginning again.
He released me, smiling.
“I trust the day has not been too monotonous without me,” he said.
“Any day would be better for not having you in it,” I retorted.
“Ungracious still! I had hoped that you, being a reasonable woman, would come to terms with the inescapable.”
“If you ever think I would come to terms with you, you are mistaken.”
“We came to terms once … about the picture, I mean. By the way, I like the one you brought. A worthy Collison.”
I turned back to the window. I wanted to look anywhere but into his face.
“I also like the sketch.”
“What sketch?”
“The one you did of me, of course. It is so gratifying to know that even when I am not here I am in your thoughts. Am I really as terrible as that? I recognize the thing. I’ve often seen it. It’s at the top of the steps, isn’t it? It’s recognized as being the most grotesque and evil gargoyle in the whole of Paris.”
“Yes, I know.”
“And you have made it my face. Mon Dieu, Kate, you are a clever artist. It’s undoubtedly that particular gargoyle and yet I’m there too. We are combined.”
“It represents the forces of evil,” I said.
“I know what those gargoyles mean now. They were modelled on evil men demons … such as ordinary people do not know exist. But they existed when Notre Dame was built and they exist today. At least one of them does.”
“True. But there is a little good in the worst of us. Did you know that?”
“I would find it hard to believe of you.”
“You are ungrateful. Who launched you into the Paris world of art?”
“You liked the picture I had painted and said so. I don’t think such an act will assure you of a place in Heaven.”
“I’m thinking of this life rather than the life to come. I intend to enjoy this one to the full.”
“Which I believe you do … at the expense of others.”
“Some have the good sense to want what I want.”
“Some may have the greater good sense to fight you.”
“Which would be mere folly if the odds were against them.”
“You mean … as they are with me at this time?”
“I fear so, Kate. Will you be gentle tonight? I know how you can be.
Will you forget that you have to pretend you do not like me? “
“It is impossible to forget something which is so blatantly true.”
“You hate me as a person? Is that so? You despise everything I do. I have a certain power which allows me to get what I want now and then.
That you hate. I understand it. But forget it, Kate. Think of me only as your lover. “
“You talk nonsense.”
“No. I talk from a superior knowledge of the emotions.”
“Please do not attempt to tell me what I feel.”
“I have had great experience of women.”
“You speak the truth there for once.”
“I know how you feel towards me. You hate me … but hate and love can be very close, Kate, in certain moments. Passion is blind to the differences of the mind. This is a mating of bodies. You and I were made for each other and that fierce reluctance of yours . too fierce to be entirely natural . - . just adds to the perfection. Do you understand what I mean? “
“No.”
“Then I shall teach you.”
“I would rather be taught how to escape from the place, to leave you and never see you again.”
“Much as I would like to indulge you in all things, you ask too much.”
“How long do you intend to keep me here?”
“That depends. Would you like a little wine before we sup?”
“Drugged wine?”
“Oh no. That was only for convenience in the first instance. Just while we got over the er preliminaries. It won’t be necessary now.”
“Just ordinary common rape?”
“How outspoken you are! You astonish me. I should not have thought a well-brought-up lady would talk in such a way.”
“Who would believe that a well-brought-up lady would be in such a position.”
“Such things happen a great deal more frequently than you would think.
One doesn’t hear of them. I will tell them to bring in the wine. “
I watched him go to the door, the blue robe swinging round him.
He was in the dining-room. If I could get down the stairs, surprise the guards . He was beside me, smiling at me.
“You would never do it,” he said.
“And suppose you got out? Imagine being on the road dressed like that.
No money. People would think you were mad. “
“What have I ever done to you that you should treat me like this?”
“Bewitched me, for one thing. Come. They are bringing the wine.”
The woman came in and set it on the table. He went over to it and poured two glasses. One he handed to me.
“Drink it,” he said.
I took the glass, but did not drink. He went to the table and took his, sipping it, looking at me.
“I assure you … no drugs,” he said.
“Here. Give me your glass. You take mine.”
He took mine and thrust his into my hand. He drank quickly.
“There, you see.”
My throat felt dry and parched. I felt I needed some stimulation if I were to face what lay before me. I sipped a little of the wine.