I went into the salon with my father and Clare.
“First, tell me your news,” I said firmly, trying to find the words to explain Kendal.
“Clare and I are married,” blurted out my father.
“Married!”
“Three weeks ago. We didn’t tell you because we knew you’d be too busy to come to the wedding and perhaps feel you ought and so make it difficult for you. We thought we’d surprise you on our honeymoon.”
“Oh, Father!” I said.
“You’re not pleased,” said Clare quickly.
“Of course I’m pleased. I think it’s wonderful. No one can care of him like you.”
“I want to care for him,” she said earnestly.
“Particularly now …”
My father was smiling in my direction and I realized that he could not see me very clearly.
I said slowly: “As you have guessed, I have something to tell you.”
“Do you want to speak to your father alone?” asked Clare.
I shook my head.
“No, Clare. You’re one of the family now. I’m afraid this will be a shock to you. The little boy is my son.”
There was a deep silence in the room.
“I couldn’t tell you,” I rushed on.
“That’s why I had to stay here. I couldn’t come to see you …”
“You are married?” asked my father.
“No.”
“I… see.”
“No,” I said.
“I don’t think you do.”
“What happened to Bertrand? You were going to marry him.”
“My child’s father is not Bertrand.”
“Someone else?”
Clare said, “My poor, poor Kate.”
“No,” I said fiercely.
“I am not poor. It happened … and now that I have my boy I wouldn’t have had it otherwise.”
My father was looking bewildered.
“But you were to have married …”
“There was someone else,” I said.
“And you couldn’t marry him?”
I shook my head. My father was struggling with his principles and his love for his daughter. It was a great shock to him that I should have an illegitimate child. I felt I owed him some explanation for I did not want him to think I had been blithely immoral with no thought to consequences.
I said quietly: “It was forced on me.”
“Forced! My dear child!”
“Please … do you mind if we don’t talk about it.”
“Of course we won’t,” Clare said.
“Kendal dear, Kate is happy now .. whatever happened. And she’s successful with her work. That must be a great compensation for everything. And the little boy is such a darling.”
“Thank you, Clare,” I said.
“Perhaps I’ll be able to tell you later.
This has come so suddenly. “
“We should have told you we were on our way,” said Clare.
“We wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It’s a wonderful surprise. I’m so happy to see you. It is just that ”
“We understand,” said Clare.
“You will tell us when you want to. In the meantime, it is not our business. You have this studio and all this success. It is what you dreamed of, isn’t it?”
My father was looking in my direction as though he had been confronted by a stranger. I went to him and taking his hand kissed it.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s been unfair to you. Perhaps I should have told you. I didn’t want to make difficulties. Believe me, it was not my fault. It… happened to me.”
“You mean … ?”
“Please don’t talk of it. Perhaps later. Not now. Oh, Father, I am so glad you are happy and that you have Clare.”
“Clare has been very good to me.”
I reached for her hand and we all stood close together.
“Please understand,” I said.
“I did not seek it. It … happened. I have a wonderful friend in Nicole who has smoothed the way for me. I believe that in spite of it I have been lucky.”
My father clenched his hand and said softly: “Was it that man… that Baron?”
“Father, please … it’s over and done with.”
“He did a lot for you. So it was because-‘ ” No, no. That’s quite wrong. Perhaps I can talk to you later. not now. “
“Kendal dear,” said Clare gently, ‘don’t distress Kate. Imagine all she has gone through. and then our coming so suddenly. She’ll tell us when she’s ready. Oh, Kate, it is wonderful to see you. Is the little boy interested in painting? “
“Yes, I really think he is going to be. He daubs a bit but I’m sure he has an eye for colour. I named him Kendal.. just in case.”
My father smiled gently. He gripped my hand tightly.
“You should have come to me, Kate,” he said.
“It was my place to help you.”
“I almost did. I might have done if Nicole hadn’t been there. Oh, Father, you have been so lucky to have Clare. I’ve been lucky with Nicole. It is a wonderful thing to have staunch friends.”
“I agree on that. I want to see the boy, Kate.”
"You shall. “
He murmured: “Kendal Collison. He’ll carry the torch perhaps.”
My father and Clare stayed with us for three days.
Once he had recovered from the shock, my father accepted my position in much the same way as he had accepted his oncoming blindness.
He did not ask any more intimate questions. Whether he presumed that I had actually been forced to submit to the Baron or whether he thought he had overpowered me with his persuasion, he did not ask and I did not tell him. He realized that talking of the matter distressed me and he wanted the visit to be a happy one. He wanted to stress the fact -which I already knew-that whatever happened to either of us our love for each other would remain as steady as a rock.
They talked of village matters. Hope had a little baby and was happy although for a long time she had been unable to get over her sister’s death. Everything was the same at the vicarage. Frances Meadows was a wonderful worker and managed the household efficiently as well as countless village concerns.
“Life is very quiet for us compared with you in your wonderful salon,” said Clare.
“But it suits us very well.”
My father’s sight had grown much worse. He did not wear glasses because they made no difference. I thought the time must come when he would be totally blind. I dreaded that day and I know he did.
Clare had long talks with me.
“He is adjusting himself gradually,” she said.
“I read to him. He loves that. Of course he can’t paint at all now. It’s heartbreaking to see him in the studio. He goes up there quite often still. I think your success means a great deal to him.”
“Clare,” I told her, “I don’t know how to be grateful enough to you.”
“It’s I who should be grateful. Before I came to you, life was so empty. Now it is full of meaning. I think I was meant to look after people.”
“It’s a very noble mission in life.”
“Your father is so kind … so good, I’m the lucky one. I am so sorry for people who haven’t had my luck. I often grieve for poor Faith Camborne.”
“She was always so helpless,” I said.
“I know. I tried to befriend her. I did what I could …”
“You were always very helpful to her and I know she was very fond of you.”
“All we can do now is pray that Hope will stop grieving for her sister and enjoy what life has given her … a good husband and a lovely baby.”
“Dear Clare,” I murmured, kissing her, Kendal was very excited to find he had a grandfather. He climbed all over him and peered into his face. He must have heard talk of his very imminent blindness because one day he climbed onto his knees and looking long into his face said:
“How are your poor eyes today?”
My father was so moved that he was almost in tears.
“I’ll see for you,” Kendal said.