“Don’t fret,” I said.
“Whatever it was doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes … yes …” she murmured.
“Try to understand him, Kate.
There’s good in him . “
I smiled at her and a certain impatience showed itself in her slurred voice.
“He sent me… to find you, Kate. It wasn’t by chance. He wanted to be sure that you were … looked after.”
“You mean that he knew all the time where I was?”
“It was his house. He looked after everything, Kate … paid for everything … arranged about the birth. He has looked after everything since. He sent the people who came for the portraits. You see… he cared, Kate.”
This was too much. It was one shock following on another. He had watched over me then. He had known where I was all the time. He must have guessed there would be a child. He had sent Nicole to look after me . to feign friendship . Oh no, not that. She had been my true friend. But in the beginning he had sent her. The elegant, comfortable house, with its convenient studio had been provided by him. Nicole had reported to him regularly and in time he had come to see his son in the Gardens.
It was a blinding revelation, but somehow it did not seem important with Nicole lying there . dying. Yes, I knew she was dying. She would never come back to us. That bohemian life others, living in elegant salons as mistress of one of the most powerful men in France had ended in a Paris street and here she was in a hospital for the poor.
“Oh Nicole,” I said.
“Dear Nicole, you must get well. You must come back with us.”
She smiled at me and her eyes were already becoming glazed.
“It’s finished,” she said.
“It’s all over. I’ve been too badly hurt. I know it is the end. I’m glad you came, Kate. I had to speak to you .. before I went. Forgive him. There is good in him. You might find it.”
“Don’t talk of him.”
“I must. I must make you see how it was. I loved him… in my way. He loved me … in his way… the light way. Not as he would love you.
You could put the good in him, Kate. Please try. “
“You shouldn’t be thinking of him, Nicole. Please rest. You’re going to get well. How could we get on without you?”
“You forgive me …”
“What is there to forgive? It is you who should forgive me. I kept you here. I should have made you go with him. You knew that was right… and you wanted to. But I wouldn’t go and because … Oh, Nicole, how can I thank you for all you did for me?”
“He did it.
“No, Nicole, you .. you.”
“Please, Kate.”
She was pleading with me and I knew she was dying.
I nodded my head and saw her expression change. I think then she was at peace.
She closed her eyes. She was breathing with difficulty. I sat on. I fancied my presence comforted her. It must have been half an hour before her breathing changed. She was making rasping noises, trying to get her breath.
I ran out to call someone. I found a nurse and took her to Nicole’s bedside.
Nicole was silent now.
“She was badly hit,” said the nurse.
“She hadn’t a chance.”
Then she closed Nicole’s eyes and put the sheet over her face.
I stumbled out of the hospital. I could not take it in. Nicole dead!
But that morning she had been alive and well. my dearest friend, the one on whom I relied. And now she was gone. and all in an hour or so. Life was harsh, I had reason to know, but that tragedy could come so swiftly had never occurred to me.
“May you have more luck than you have good sense.”
could hear his voice now. He had come for us. He had cared for us . all the time. It had not been friendship which had prompted Nicole to help me in the first place. It had been done on his instructions.
And now Nicole was dead. How could I tell Kendal that he would never see Nicole again? How could I ever forget that but for me she would not have been in Paris. She would be alive at this moment.
The horror of it all burst on me. Shots such as those which had killed Nicole could take any of us at any time. Oh God, I thought. Kendal!
I ran as fast as I could.
The house was still there. I had half expected it to be destroyed.
War. We were at war. I had never thought of being involved in war. Now it had come with all its tragedy, its destruction, its maiming and killings . its breaking up of lives.
I ran into the house calling “Jeanne! Kendal! Quick. Where are you?”
Jeanne came running to me. Her face was white. She was clearly distraught.
“Where is Kendal?” I asked.
She said: “He’s gone … gone to safety. The gentleman in the Gardens”
The room seemed to be spinning round me. I felt sick with apprehension.
“He came just after you’d gone. He said Paris was no place for the boy. He was going to take him away to safety. I tried … but he just took him.”
“And Kendal…”
“He said he wouldn’t go without his mother… but he was picked up carried away …”
I covered my face with my hands. I said: “This can’t be true. He’s taken him to Centeville. I must go after him. Oh Jeanne … Nicole is dead.”
She stared at me.
“I … I’ve been with her,” I stammered.
“And … while I was with her he came and took my son away. Jeanne I must go after him. I know where. Come with me. You can’t stay here. If you could have seen ” How can we get to this place? “
“I don’t know. But we must go at once. Take all the money we can.
There is not a moment to lose. We have to go after him. “
I ran to my room. I gathered together all the money that was in the house. I put on my cloak. Action, desperate action was the best way to live through a situation like this.
I went downstairs. Jeanne was already there.
I cried out: “Come then.”
The door opened and he was standing there the Baron himself, holding Kendal by the hand.
I gave a cry of relief and ran to my son, kneeling and embracing him, clinging to him. He looked bewildered but clearly shared my relief.
“There’s not a moment to lose,” said the Baron.
“You are dressed.
Where is Nicole? Go and tell her. “
I stared at him for a few seconds unable to speak.
“Hurry,” he shouted.
“This city will be under siege in a few hours .. perhaps it is already. Get Nicole … quickly.”
I said: “Nicole is dead. I have just left her.”
“Dead!”
“She is in the hospital. She was hit … by this … bombardment. I stayed with her until she died.”
He was stunned. I had never seen him moved by emotion before.
“Nicole … dead …” I heard him murmur.
“You … you’re sure?”
“I have just left her. That’s where I was. They sent for me …”
I turned away from him.
I heard him say: “She was a good woman … the best…” And then he recovered himself.
“Come on. There’s no time to lose.” He looked at jeanne
“You too. You can’t stay here.”
We went into the streets. There was hardly anyone about. The bombardment had sent them all scurrying into their houses.
He said: “I have horses nearby. We’ll get away from here as fast as we can. Come now. Every minute is important.”
We were at the top of the street when I heard the second explosion of the day.
I think that was the worst moment of my life. A building beside us had been struck. Time appeared to slow down. I saw it stagger like a drunken man; then it started to crumble . slowly, and the facade seemed to slither to the ground. I saw . disaster. Kendal was staring up at it as though mesmerized. I heard the Baron shout at him.
The boy turned but was too late to move before there was a violent rumbling and the air was full of blinding dust.