William confided in me that he believed there had been wicked fairies at his christening who had decreed that whenever his father was there a cloak should be thrown round William to make him invisible. Then they made him do something to worry his mother’s nerves. He did not know what nerves were; all he was aware of was that he possessed Is some mysterious power to disturb them.
“I don’t know what I do,” he said.
“If I did I wouldn’t do it. Oh, it is these wicked fairies.”
I talked about him with jeanne She was teaching Kendal and she said she would take on William with him; and as they were only too glad to be rid of William in his own nursery, the two boys took lessons with jeanne
We were pleased to discover that William was by no means dull.
“In fact,” said Jeanne, “I think with the right teaching he might turn out to be quite clever. We have to break down these barriers first, though. He is on the defensive all the time.”
At first Kendal did not like him and demanded to know if he had to be with him.
“He can’t run as fast as I can,” he said contemptuously.
“All the more reason why you should be his friend,” we told him.
“He’s rather silly really.”
“That’s what you think. He might think you are.”
That astonished Kendal and he was very thoughtful. After that I caught him observing William very closely. I knew he was wondering in what way William could possibly think he was silly.
Then when William found the answer to a sum before Kendal did, so Jeanne told me, it seemed to mark a difference in their relationship.
Kendal had had proof that William was better at some things than he was. It was a good lesson for him.
Jeanne had a way with children. She laid down rules which had to be obeyed and they seemed to like that. William was always in the schoolroom in time and Jeanne and I noticed that the two boys often went off together. Kendal was undoubtedly the leader of the games and decided what they should play, but in the classroom William would often answer first.
“I allow a little subterfuge now and then,” said Jeanne.
“It is more important for them to be friends. So I pretend not to see it, when William passes an answer to Kendal. I want Kendal to realize that he is not superior because he can ride and run better and is an inch or so taller.”
I was given the room in which I had first worked on the Baron’s miniature in order that I might paint if I wanted to. The boys used to come up there and Kendal loved to draw and paint.
I gave William some paints and let him try his hand. It was clear that he was not going to be an artist.
“See if you can draw a face,” I said, ‘and then paint it. But draw it first. “
William did something which was meant to be a portrait. I could not tell who it was meant to be.
“It’s my father,” he said. See . he’s big and strong. He’s the strongest man in the world. “
“That’s not like him,” said KendaS, and proceeded to do a sketch which undoubtedly bore more than a slight resemblance to the Baron.
William was overcome with awe. He looked at me sadly.
“I wish I could draw my father,” he said.
I let my hand rest lightly on his shoulder and replied:
“Never mind. It was a good try. Always remember that if you can’t do one thing, there are always others you can do. Mademoiselle Jeanne tells me you are quick with your sums.”
“I like sums,” he said, smiling.
“Well then …” I leaned towards him and whispered: “I think you beat Kendal at them … and he can draw a little better than you can. He’s my son and I’m an artist. His grandfather was an artist and his great… great… as many greats as you can think of… were.
It’s in the family. “
“He’s like them. I’ll be like my father when I’m grown up.”
It all came back to one thing. He idolized the father who ignored him.
I felt my anger rising against Rollo once more.
Rollo was always seeking an opportunity to be alone with me. It was time I left the castle. When I was in the Loge it must be easier, I told myself. Then it occurred to me that it might be worse. I should not go there. I should leave without delay. But where could I go to?
And what of Kendal? He must not get thin and ill-nourished again.
I remonstrated with Rollo.
“You are cruel to William’ I told him.
“Why do you have to behave as though the boy is not there?”
“It’s the easiest way to tolerate him.”
“You vent your petty spite on a child. I think that is despicable.”
“Dear Kate, I can’t pretend to like the boy. Every time I see him, I remember who he is. L’Estrange’s bastard. You couldn’t expect me to treat him as though he were my own child.”
“You could pretend.”
“I’m not good at pretence.”
“I thought you were supposed to be good at anything you put your mind to.”
“Not that. I never want to see the boy.”
“And now Kendal is here, it is worse. I saw William watching you the other day when you were with Kendal. He came running to you and you went on talking to Kendal as though William were not there. Can’t you see what you are doing to the child?”
“I don’t see him at all.”
“It’s cruel, and for some incomprehensible reason, the boy seems to idolize you.”
“It’s obviously the right way to treat him then.”
“A little notice from you would make him completely happy.”
“You are sentimental Kate. Turn your sentiments to a more worthy cause.”
“You wonder why I don’t care for you. If you would take a good look at yourself, you would see why nobody could.”
“You are illogical, Kate. A moment ago you were telling me the boy idolized me. But why, when we are together, do we waste our time talking about him?”
“I happen to be interested in him.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned away.
He was beside me, taking my hand.
“It’s hard going on like this,” he said.
“Every night . you’re in the castle … and not with me.”
“I shall be going to the Loge tomorrow.”
“And I shall be thinking of you there in just the same way.”
“I wonder if I ought to try to get to England. They’ll be worried about me. Good heavens, they will be thinking I am still in Paris.
They’ll know the news, of course. “
“I should think the whole world knows of the humiliation of Paris
“Is it possible to get a letter to England?”
“It might be. I don’t know what’s happening at the ports. The situation is rather vague. I gather that the Communists of Paris are now fighting against the new Republic. They don’t want a peaceful solution. It seems they want revolution again. There is no law and order in the city. Thank God we got away when we did, heaven knows what would have happened to us among that mad rabble. They are rioting still and destroying buildings. It seems it is just for the sake of destruction. You would think Paris had suffered enough.”
“It seems as if I shall never get back.”
“It will be a long time.”
“I am sure my stepmother will be anxious. I haven’t heard from her since the death of my father. That was just before the siege started.
She wrote a heartbreaking letter to me. Poor Clare! She is very gentle woman . unable to take care of herself very well. I should like her to know that I am safe. “
“I’ll tell you what I’ll do. Write your letter to her and I’ll send a man to the coast with it to see what the position is. I