He clutched her tighter. “Julianne, there is nothing to fear. You heard your father. I tell you there is no Golem. It is only your fanciful imagination. It was a man. I spoke with him.”
“But there is!” She shoved him back hard. Wildness radiated in her eyes. “There is!” she insisted. “I made it.”
His head. It must still be throbbing from the thrashing he’d gotten. “I. . I don’t understand.”
She sighed with both shoulders. “When my father’s papers were stolen, it gave me an idea. I stole the parchments of Creation myself and studied them carefully. I went to the potter’s row and bought the clay.”
“But. . when would you have had time? Your father says-”
“I was in my menses. For a Jew, a woman in her menses is unclean. It was a good excuse to hide away. I created the Golem in the unused mews at the end of the stables at the palace.”
The shadows played with her face, changing her angelic features to those of a darker angel. His gut felt as if a stone now sat there, hard and solid. “You. . you can’t have.”
“I spoke the words of Creation.” She turned her hands, looking down at them. “I carved the word on its chest, gave it life. It moved for me, did as I bid. But when I returned the next day, the Golem was gone. And the murders began.”
“A man murdered those children,” his voice said dazedly.
“I never meant for children to die.”
“Then who did you mean?”
“Christians, of course.” He took a step back. The cold stone in his gut grew heavier. “My revenge,” she was saying, though her voice sounded far away. A ringing started in his ears. “You do not know, Crispin. You do not know what Father and I have endured over the years. The Golem was to teach them a lesson.”
“I see.”
“Do you? Oh. . but Crispin. You are not like them. You’re different.”
“More like them than you seem to realize.”
She studied his face, squinting from the faint light. “Crispin?” She reached for him but he pushed back those hands, hands he had desperately wanted to caress him a mere few moments ago.
“How could you have done such evil? And then to allow me to-”
“Evil? Like the evil that has been done to us!”
“An eye for an eye, is that it?”
“Yes!”
He shook his head. The cold stone made the bile rise to his throat. “You don’t know me at all.”
“I know you are a fool for helping those people when they do you wrong. But I can overlook that.”
“Can you? And yet I cannot overlook this evil you would set upon London. Where is this Golem now?”
“I don’t know. It vanished. But you said you encountered it.”
Crispin tried to think, tried to distinguish the times he had seen the Golem. Had it truly been Odo all those times? What of that clay-smeared wall in the palace? Was it Odo who killed Radulfus? He hadn’t seen its face at the time.
“It’s no matter,” she said. “When it rains he will wash away. Without the symbols etched on his chest he will cease to exist. You don’t have to worry. He will melt into the pile of clay from which he was made.” She reached for him again but he slapped her hands away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Julianne!” cried Jacob, standing unsteadily in the doorway, his white face older by some years. “Is this true? Did you let loose the Golem?”
“Father, you don’t understand-”
“Let the man go.”
“No! Father! He’s not like the others. Make him see-”
“Julianne! No. Go to the chamber.”
“But Father!”
“GO!”
Julianne hung her head. Wringing her hands, she obeyed Jacob at last, retreating sullenly into the darkened room.
Jacob silently closed the door. With his trembling hand laid against it, he did not turn to Crispin. “I have committed many sins, it seems,” he said brokenly. “To raise a daughter like a son was a grave sin indeed. I am just now paying the price. That I see with clarity. There is no need to regret this episode, Maître Guest. We will leave England as soon as possible. I will send my regrets to the queen. It was a mistake to come here. I was only trying to do my countrymen a mitzvah. A good deed. But I see now that I have only cursed them all.”
Crispin had no words of comfort. If he opened his mouth, he did not know what would come out. Instead, he turned away, tight-lipped, and left.
The next day Crispin and Jack returned to London with Wynchecombe’s borrowed horse, neither of them speaking of Jack’s harrowing experience. The days passed, and Crispin tried to forget short-cropped hair and green eyes. He thought of venturing back to the potter’s row to tell Berthildus the fate of her son, but he could not bring himself to do it. It was by mere chance that the astrologer had chosen Berthildus from whom to buy the clay, and her poorer luck that she had a young son. No, he could not tell her.
He did send an anonymous message to Matthew Middleton the goldsmith, warning him that the Church knew of their secret. A fortnight after that, there was a sudden selling of many properties near the Domus and several of London’s most successful citizens had departed the city for parts unknown.
Advent passed and Christmas day dawned, just like any other. He went through the motions of the day, shaving, brushing down his cotehardie, taking turns with Jack adding fuel to the fire. He admonished Jack to go to mass, but the boy would not leave his side. When the bells tolled for Sext, Crispin reminded Jack that he was expected at Gilbert and Eleanor’s table.
Sullenly, Jack adjusted his cloak and rested his hand on the door ring. “Master, I think you should come.”
“I believe we’ve already had this discussion, Jack.”
“But Master, of all Christmases, don’t you think you deserve a little cheer? Some reward?”
“My reward is that, apparently, I won’t hang for Giles’s or Cornelius’s murders.”
“But Master Crispin-”
He laid his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Jack, I appreciate your concern. But I cannot go with you. Give them my greetings.”
Jack scowled and grumbled to himself, but he pulled open the door and stumped noisily down the stairs.
The smells of good cooking soon wafted up the stairwell. His landlady, Alice Kemp, was doing her best for the tinker and their daughter, Matilda. All around him, in fact, people were gathering for their Christmas feast, whether it be humble or not.
After a time, the brooding silence began to aggravate. Crispin threw on his cloak and hit the stairs. He made it to the street and tucked his hood over his head. Snow was falling in feathery flakes and mist made midday seem much later. He felt the cold nip his face and was grateful for it, grateful to be alive, though he couldn’t put the image of the burned-out shell of his ancestral home out of his mind. Well, there was nothing to be done about it. Gilbert was right. They had been lost to him for years, and now they were gone for good.
He watched as people tramping in the street dragged greenery behind them, some even carrying large Yule logs. For a moment, Crispin wished he hadn’t been unreasonable and turned down the kind offer of his friends at the Boar’s Tusk. Why didn’t he just go? They had certainly asked him often enough. With a sigh that turned to a puff of gray, Crispin had no real answer. Only that, for the last seven years, he did not feel fit to join in with the celebration of others. Call it part of his personal penance.
The people on the street were thinning to just a few here and there. The trampled snow told him that the processions had ceased and all had been blessed by their parish priests. Shops were closed and it began to feel lonelier. As it should, he reminded himself. A traitor such as himself had no right to feasts and joviality, but wallowing too much was also uncalled for, at least that’s what Gilbert had told him. God loveth a cheerful giver. He snorted at that before he nearly ran into a woman idly walking near the closed shops.