Dammit. Now she wished she’d never given him her address. I should’ve gotten a PO Box. “That’s not necessary.” Why the hell can’t I just tell him to fuck off?
“I’d consider it a favor if you would. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I’d really appreciate it. Please?”
Despite how much she hated what he’d done to her, his plaintive tone of voice killed the animosity she felt toward him. Yes, he’d been a dick. But he was trying to make amends. She probably shouldn’t piss him off in case he decided not to keep paying her back. “I’ve got a lot going on next weekend. I don’t know if I can change my plans. I’ll have to let you know.”
He sounded relieved. “Okay, thanks. I appreciate it.”
“I have to go.” She ended the call and tossed her phone to the other end of the couch. She stared at it, praying James wouldn’t call back.
After a few minutes of silence, she relaxed.
Unfortunately, that same silence only emphasized that Tony hadn’t called or texted her.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tony threw himself into his work upon arriving in Denver. He tried to ignore his personal cell phone and the fact that he didn’t receive any text messages from Shayla. Tuesday morning, he left his personal cell in the hotel room because all day Monday he’d found himself reaching for it every few minutes despite the fact that he had sketchy cell reception, and everything that could go wrong with the install did. Except for fire, flood, nuclear holocaust, and zombie attack, things that shouldn’t go balls-up did just that, requiring every last bit of his attention and energy.
I have to focus on my work.
It irritated him that normally he was a guy who could do just that, stay focused on his work. No matter what was going on around him in his personal life, once he was on the clock, or in work mode, that was it. Nothing blasted him out of that headspace.
Until Shayla.
He had told her he’d be in touch, but he didn’t want to smother her. He also didn’t want to get into an emotional conversation via text and have it blow up in their faces due to a misunderstanding.
And he didn’t want to be left standing there with his dick metaphorically hanging out if she didn’t want a relationship with him after all.
It didn’t escape his notice that the loneliness he’d felt before Shayla had returned with a vengeance.
Shayla forced herself to stick to some semblance of a routine even though her heart certainly wasn’t in it. Every day she didn’t hear from Tony hurt her heart that much more, but strengthened her resolve not to embarrass herself by texting him.
Besides, she knew he’d be overwhelmed with work, and the last thing he needed was her whiny ass bothering him. She’d have a talk with him after he got back.
The first weekend was even harder than the Monday after he left. She spent her time wondering what he was doing, what they might have been doing had they still been seeing each other…and what she wished they were doing.
It stunned her to realize she hurt worse now than when she discovered James’ second round of betrayal.
I love him. I love him and don’t even know if I can tell him. Telling him and learning he didn’t feel the same would hurt worse than never telling him at all.
She plodded through the second week by sheer force of will, keeping busy and working long hours, going in early and staying late, taking more assignments than she normally would and busting her ass to do anything but think about Tony Daniels. Leah had elicited a promise from her to come to dinner with them on Saturday and go to a club with them up in Tampa, but she decided she didn’t have the heart to.
That was why she almost didn’t answer her phone when Leah called her as she was getting ready to leave the office late Friday. “How you doing, sweetie?” Leah asked her.
Shayla sighed as she stared at her monitor. “I’ll live. I’m going to cancel on tomorrow night, though.”
“Aww. Are you sure? You can ride with us. We weren’t planning on staying real late. Just going to hang out and watch and visit with friends.”
“No, I’m sure. But thank you anyway.” She ran her finger over the keyboard. “I’m going to shut off my phone after we hang up and keep it off all weekend. I’m going to spend the weekend drowning my sorrows in Guinness and sinfully dark chocolate, watch cheesy B-movies in my jammies, and start Monday fresh with a new attitude and ready to kick ass and take names.”
“Well, call or text me, huh? Let me know you’re okay?”
“Nope. James is in Orlando this weekend on business. I don’t want to do something stupid like pick up the phone and talk to him if he calls, or return any texts.”
“Oh. James as in James the ex?”
“Yep. Him.” She shut down her computer and pushed away from her desk. “He called me a couple of weeks ago. Said he wanted to get together to talk while he was down here. The way I feel right now, I’d be too tempted to do something stupid.”
“Still haven’t heard from Tony, huh?”
“Nope.” She let out a sigh. “Look, I know you really want to, but please don’t say anything to him, okay?” She swallowed back tears when she felt the prickles in her eyes. “He’s made it abundantly clear by his lack of communication that this was just a formal arrangement and not a personal one.” She took a deep breath. “I’m a big girl. I’ve finally got my big-girl panties on and I’m sucking it up and dealing with it. If he wants to talk when he gets back, we will. He stuck to his end of the deal. I’m dang sure not going to be a whiny drama llama.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m going to kick his ass next time I see him.”
“No, please, don’t. Like I said, he didn’t do anything wrong.” She closed her eyes, trying to squeeze back stray tears that wanted to force their way out. “I’m the one who fell in love with him. This is my problem. He never led me on. I did that to myself just fine without any help from him. I need to go. I’ll talk to you on Monday.”
“Okay. Take care this weekend. Call me if you change your mind about tomorrow.”
Shayla ended the call and immediately shut off her phone. She’d already decided to leave her laptop at the office so she wouldn’t be tempted to check e-mail. She didn’t have a landline, so for the weekend she’d be totally off the grid. If she wanted to buy e-books, she could do that through her Kindle without ever getting on the Internet. She’d leave her cell phone shut off and in the dresser drawer in the bedroom and focus on getting this maudlin mental crap out of her system.
Then she could just move the fuck on with her life.
I hope.
She wasn’t going to delude herself and get her hopes up that Tony wanted more from her.
Wishing for a happy ending had already got her heart broken with James. She wouldn’t embarrass herself like that again.
On the way home, she stopped at the grocery store. She stocked up so she wouldn’t have to leave her apartment. Not that she planned on staying sober long enough to drive for most of the weekend. She might have a hella hangover come Monday morning, but that would help take her mind off the pain in her heart and soul, at least.
No matter how many problems Tony settled during the install, new ones seemed to crop up every day. Putting the new data center together was like herding severely ADHD cats in desperate need of high Ritalin doses. Tony worked eighteen-hour days, collapsing late every night in his hotel room and getting up early every morning to do it all over again. He left his private cell phone in the hotel room where it eventually shut down due to a dead battery.