“It seems unnecessary to set a time for mourning,” I commented sadly.
“When one has lost someone who is dear, the mourning goes on through one’s life. It is not so intense as it was at first, of course, but I don’t believe one ever forgets.”
“You’re thinking of your mother again. You were lucky to have such a mother, Minelle.”
“But if she had not been as she was, if she had been less good and kind and understanding, I shouldn’t be missing her so sorely now.
Sometimes I think she is still advising me. “
“Perhaps she is. Perhaps she told you to duck your head when you did so and saved your life.”
“Who knows?”
Margot said: “Minelle, you look exhausted. That’s not like you. You always have ten times more energy than the rest of us. You should go to bed and sleep and try not to see faces in the bushes.”
I did feel tired though I doubted whether I should sleep.
But I wanted to be alone so we said goodnight and she went to her room.
I lay in bed very tired yet sleepless. I could not stop myself going over every moment of that afternoon from the moment when I had said goodbye to Gabrielle to the time when I came riding into the chateau stables. I felt again the first uneasy tremor when I had fancied I was being watched and the mounting terror when I realized that someone was trying to kill me.
I started up in alarm when I heard a sound at my door. It was a sign of my state that my heart began to hammer against my side as I stared in fearful anticipation at the door. Margot came in. She was carrying a glass in her hand. Tor you, Mineue,” she said, setting it down by the bed.
“Nou-Nou’s special concoction, guaranteed to make you sleep.
I got it from her. “
I lowered my eyes. I thought of the Comte’s going into Ursule’s room, taking the bottle from Nou-Nou’s store. Was that what he had done? Had he given it to her before I saw him leaving by the terrace doors? But surely if he had she would not have been asleep so quickly, for she was almost asleep when I entered. And Nou-Nou could not have been far off. What had they said to each other during that last interview? Had she taken her own life and should I ever know? Was it possible that he . I would not let myself think it. But what did I really know of him? That potent spell which he cast over me lulled my common sense to sleep and I could only make excuses for him.
Margot was looking at me enquiringly. You’re dreaming. Still seeing faces? Drink this up and you’ll be all right by morning. “
“I’ll take it later I said.
“Stay and talk awhile.”
“You need sleep,” she said firmly and set the glass on the table by my bed. Then she sat down on the chair near my dressing-table on which stood three candles-only two of which were alight.
“Only two,” she said.
“It’s gloomy in here.”
“One was blown out when you opened the door.”
“As long as the three don’t go out. That’s a sign of death. One of ‘the servants said that on the night my mother died three candles in their room went out… one after the other.”
“You don’t believe such superstition, Margot!”
“None of us believe them until we prove them to be true, do we?”
“Some people are very superstitious.”
“It is usually those who have something to fear … people like sailors and miners. People who run certain hazards.”
“We all run hazards.”
“But not such obvious ones. Look, another candle has gone out.”
“You blew it.”
“I did not.”
“Light it again.”
“Oh no, that would be unlucky. We have to wait and see if the third goes out.”
There’s a draught coming from somewhere. “
“You always have to have a logical explanation for everything, don’t you!”
“It’s not a bad idea.”
“And you don’t believe in the candle legend?”
“Of course I don’t.”
There was silence for a few moments, then she said: “I have a feeling that something is going to happen soon. Do you think we can go and visit Chariot?”
“Of course we can’t. You have seen what disaster our first visit brought.”
“Disaster! When I found my baby! Oh, you’re thinking of that horrid Bessell. Well, I’ve settled him. Mimi is quite ashamed of him. She can’t do enough for me.”
“I don’t like it, Margot.”
“If only there wasn’t this waiting. It’s so silly. I don’t mourn my mother any more because my marriage has been postponed. These are not normal times, are they? That’s why we have to live dangerously … because we never really know how much longer we’ve got to live. You poor Minelle. You look so tired. I’m going to say goodnight now. Take your potion and sleep well.”
As she went out, shutting the door with a bang, the third candle went out. I had laughed at the superstition but I could not repress a shudder. For a moment I was in complete darkness but as my eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, familiar objects began to take shape. I looked at the glass beside my bed. I picked it up but I did not put it to my lips.
The Comtesse had died from a draught. Someone had tried to kill me.
But it was Margot who had brought this and I knew she would never harm me.
I got out of bed and taking the glass with me went to the window. I threw out the contents. I would not want Margot to think I had been suspicious of a draught she had brought.
Now I was really wide awake. It was true I was very tired. My body needed rest but my mind was in no mood to grant it.
I lay down while thoughts chased themselves round and round in my head. I heard the tower clock striked twelve and one. Still I could not sleep.
Perhaps I should have taken the draught but it was too late for that now.
I dozed but I did not really sleep. My senses were too alert to allow me to. Then suddenly I was wide awake. I heard footsteps in the corridor footsteps which paused outside my door. Then my door was slowly opening.
At first I thought it was a ghost-so strange was the figure which came into my room. It was grey in the gloom hair streaming about the shoulders. A woman.
She came and stood by the bed looking down at me. She took the glass and smelt it. Then she leaned forward and saw that I was watching her.
“Nou-Nou,” I cried.
“What are you doing?”
She blinked and looked puzzled. She said: “What are you doing here?”
I rose from the bed and taking my robe wrapped it round me.
“Nou-Nou,” I said gently.
“What’s wrong? What do you want with me?”
My fingers were trembling as I lighted the three candles.
“She’s gone,” said Nou-Nou.
“She’ll never come back. Sometimes I think I hear her. I follow her voice. It leads me to odd places … but she’s never there.”
Poor Nou-Nou. The death of her beloved charge had indeed unbalanced her.
“You should go back to your bed,” I said.
“You should take one of your sleeping draughts.”
“She died after taking one,” she said.
“Because she took too much. You must not brood. She was ill, wasn’t she? You know how ill.”
“She didn’t,” cried Nou-Nou shrilly.
“She didn’t know how ill she would become.”
“Perhaps she did … and that was why …”
“He killed her. Right from the time the little girl was born he started to kill her. He wanted her out of the way and she knew it. She hated him … and he hated her. I hated him too. There was a lot of hatred in this household … and in time it killed her.”
“Nou-Nou, you can do no good by brooding on this. Perhaps it was best for her …”
“Best for her!” Her laughter was a shrill cackle.