My heart sank, and some of the fight went out of me. He was right, damn him. There were plenty of ways this rescue attempt could go wrong. And puny human me wouldn’t be much help in a fight against demons.
“You’ve had trouble letting him in in the past,” Raphael continued, “even in extenuating circumstances. Do you want all hell to break loose in there and then find out you can’t let him in? Or would you rather go in there prepared?”
“You can let go of me now,” I said, in what I hoped was a calm voice. “You’re right, and I have to find a way to let him in. It’s just. . I haven’t had much success.”
Raphael let go of my right hand, but kept hold of my left. I guess he didn’t trust me any more than I trusted him. I was sure he was keeping a careful watch on me in case I went for the Taser again.
“You let him in the other night when I woke you up.”
I grimaced. “Yeah, but I’d already let him in while I was sleeping. All I had to do was keep the doors open.”
“So try to do the same thing now. Try to do whatever it was you did when you kept the doors open.”
“I don’t—”
“Would you rather I clock you and let him take over while you’re unconscious?”
The grimace turned into a scowl. He was right-handed, too, and his right hand was busy holding on to me. However, I didn’t doubt he could turn my lights out just as easily with his left.
“Bastard,” I mumbled.
“Your choice.”
“Fine! I’ll try to let him in. Don’t you dare hit me!” He didn’t say anything, and I knew he’d do whatever he damn well pleased. This wasn’t what I’d call the optimal situation for achieving the kind of relaxation I thought I’d need to let Lugh take control. Especially since Raphael still had hold of me and wasn’t going to let go anytime soon.
“Close your eyes,” Raphael said. “Try pretending you’re going into the trance state.”
“I don’t suppose you carry vanilla candles with you?” I said, but I closed my eyes and leaned back in my seat, trying to ignore the disquieting feel of his hand on my wrist.
I drew in a deep breath and told myself that the scent of vanilla filled the air, and that the orange glow that lit my eyelids was a plethora of candles, not a streetlamp. Sometimes, I can lie to myself with great skill, like when Lugh first possessed me and I tried to deny all the evidence that I wasn’t alone in my body anymore. I seemed to have lost my touch, however, because I remained very much aware that I was sitting in a car in the middle of the night with a man I didn’t trust, trying to let a demon take control of my body.
Frustration curled my fingers into fists. I didn’t want Raphael hitting me! It probably wouldn’t really hurt, because I probably wouldn’t be conscious long enough to register the pain, but I’d been beat up enough lately.
“Visualize what you did with Tommy tonight,” Raphael said in what I’m sure was supposed to be a hypnotic voice.
I cracked one eye open to look at him. “Do me a favor and shut up. Hearing your voice does not relax me.”
He shut up, and I closed my eye again. Despite the fact that I’d grumped at him, I actually did as Raphael suggested and mentally took myself through the events of earlier tonight. I visualized arranging those vanilla-scented candles in a circle around Tommy, then remembered what it had felt like to light each one. Adam and Dom didn’t have a lighter, so I’d been forced to use matches.
The sensory memory became stronger, and I remembered the acrid after-scent of burning matches and smoke. I sat my imaginary self down across from Tommy, closed my imaginary eyes, and took a very real deep breath. If I didn’t know I was making this all up in my head, I would have sworn I caught the scent of vanilla.
The orange glow faded from behind my closed lids, and my otherworldly eyes opened. Beside me glowed Raphael’s crimson aura. I’d done it! I’d reached the trance state. Now all I had to do was let Lugh in.
I felt tension building in my muscles as I contemplated opening those mental doors, and before I even had the chance to try, my eyes popped open. I tried to curse in frustration, but my mouth wouldn’t open and my throat wouldn’t form the words.
Raphael smiled. “How kind of you to join us, brother,” he said.
I snorted. Actually, Lugh snorted. I tried not to panic.
I hadn’t opened my doors yet! I protested to Lugh. “Your defenses go down almost entirely when you’re in the trance,” Lugh responded, using my own vocal cords to speak to me. Have I mentioned how much I hate it when he does that?
So anytime I do an exorcism, you can just waltz on in? He didn’t answer, but then he didn’t need to.
I really like Lugh. I think he has a good heart, and I admire his ideals. He can be a good friend, when he wants to be. But he is one manipulative son of a bitch. Always for a good cause, but still. .
Were you ever planning to mention this little tidbit to me?
“Not if I didn’t have to.” Well, at least he was honest, unlike his brother.
“Are you talking to me? Because if you are, you’re making no sense,” Raphael said.
“I was talking to Morgan. But it’s time for us to go rescue a couple of children, don’t you think?”
Raphael nodded. “You and me playing hero together. Who would have believed it?”
Not me, I said, still fighting my subconscious, which really wanted to kick Lugh out and take control of my body again. Raphael is up to something. There is no way he’d have been so all-fired eager to put on the white hat.
I know, Lugh agreed, keeping the conversation just between the two of us for now. He’s my brother, remember? He might not be quite so bad as I once thought, but I know rescuing children isn’t one of his major goals in life.
Do you have any idea what he’s up to?
Raphael started the car, heading toward the driveway of the Brewster residence.
I think your guess before was right. I think he knows more about the Houston project than he’s saying, and I think he wanted Tommy Brewster as a host very, very badly. Any pretense at an urgent need to save the children was just a way to get you to agree to let him take Tommy.
Alarm trickled through my system. But he’s going to go through with the plan, right? He’s not going to drop the pretense now.
He’ll go through with it, Lugh assured me, and his mental voice held more than a hint of steel.
It sounded like there was a threat behind his words, but I didn’t think it did much good if Raphael didn’t hear it. Still, we were pulling into the driveway, and if Raphael were planning to back out, he would have done it by now. At least, I hoped that was the case.
It was almost midnight, but there were plenty of lights on in the Brewster house. I suppose it’s hard to sleep when there are demons holding children hostage in your basement. Raphael parked in front of the garage, the car coming to a stop with a squeal that set my teeth on edge. Before we got out, Raphael reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. I was pretty sure those were the same ones Adam had offered earlier. Shows how much good my refusal did.
We’re not going down there in handcuffs! I protested.
I can break out of them easily, Lugh reminded me.
Yeah, but what if I lose my nerve and end up back in the driver’s seat? I can’t break them.
Then don’t lose your nerve.
I wanted to strangle him, but my body was useless to me. Lugh allowed his brother to cuff his hands behind his back. Raphael then grabbed my arm in a brutally tight grip, stuck a gun in my side—had he been carrying that all along? — and dragged me toward the side door, where there was less light.
My body’s heart was thumping along steadily, pulse not even elevated. But that didn’t stop me from feeling like my heart was in my throat, making it hard to breathe.