Carrie was all of a tremble when she read the letter, and all she could keep on saying was: ‘Oh, I do hope it will be all right.’ For myself, I could scarcely eat any breakfast. Lupin came down dressed quietly, and looking a perfect gentleman, except that his face was rather yellow. Carrie, by way of encouragement, said: ‘You do look nice, Lupin.’ Lupin replied: ‘Yes, it’s a good make-up, isn’t it? A regular-downright-respectable-funereal-first-class-City-firm-junior-clerk.’ He laughed rather ironically.
In the hall I heard a great noise, and also Lupin shouting to Sarah to fetch down his old hat. I went into the passage, and found Lupin in a fury, kicking and smashing a new tall hat. I said: ‘Lupin, my boy, what are you doing? How wicked of you! Some poor fellow would be glad to have it.’ Lupin replied: ‘I would not insult any poor fellow by giving it to him.’
When he had gone outside, I picked up the battered hat, and saw inside ‘Posh’s Patent’. Poor Lupin! I can forgive him. It seemed hours before we reached the office. Mr Perkupp sent for Lupin, who was with him nearly an hour. He returned, as I thought, crestfallen in appearance. I said: ‘Well, Lupin, how about Mr Perkupp?’ Lupin commenced his song: ‘What’s the matter with Perkupp? He’s all right!’ I felt instinctively my boy was engaged. I went to Mr Perkupp, but I could not speak. He said: ‘Well, Mr Pooter, what is it?’ I must have looked a fool, for all I could say was: ‘Mr Perkupp, you are a good man.’ He looked at me for a moment, and said: ‘No, Mr Pooter, you are the good man; and we’ll see if we cannot get your son to follow such an excellent example.’ I said: ‘Mr Perkupp, may I go home? I cannot work any more today.’
My good master shook my hand warmly as he nodded his head. It was as much as I could do to prevent myself from crying in the ’bus; in fact, I should have done so, had my thoughts not been interrupted by Lupin, who was having a quarrel with a fat man in the ’bus, whom he accused of taking up too much room.
In the evening Carrie sent round for dear old friend Cummings and his wife, and also to Gowing. We all sat round the fire, and in a bottle of ‘Jackson Frères’, which Sarah fetched from the grocer’s, drank Lupin’s health. I lay awake for hours, thinking of the future. My boy in the same office as myself – we can go down together by the ’bus, come home together, and who knows but in the course of time he may take great interest in our little home. That he may help me to put a nail in here or a nail in there, or help his dear mother to hang a picture. In the summer he may help us in our little garden with the flowers, and assist us to paint the stands and pots. (By-the-by, I must get in some more enamel paint.) All this I thought over and over again, and a thousand happy thoughts beside. I heard the clock strike four, and soon after fell asleep, only to dream of three happy people – Lupin, dear Carrie, and myself.
Trouble with a stylographic pen. We go to a Volunteer Ball, where I am let in for an expensive supper. Grossly insulted by a cabman. An odd invitation to Southend.
Chapter XVIII
APRIL 8. No events of any importance, except that Gowing strongly recommended a new patent stylographic pen, which cost me nine-and-sixpence, and which was simply nine-and-sixpence thrown in the mud. It has caused me constant annoyance and irritability of temper. The ink oozes out of the top, making a mess on my hands, and once at the office when I was knocking the palm of my hand on the desk to jerk the ink down, Mr Perkupp, who had just entered, called out: ‘Stop that knocking! I suppose that is you, Mr Pitt?’ That young monkey, Pitt, took a malicious glee in responding quite loudly: ‘No, sir; I beg pardon, it is Mr Pooter with his pen: it has been going on all morning.’ To make matters worse, I saw Lupin laughing behind his desk. I thought it wiser to say nothing. I took the pen back to the shop and asked them if they would take it back, as it did not act. I did not expect the full price returned, but was willing to take half. The man said he could not do that – buying and selling were two different things. Lupin’s conduct during the period he has been in Mr Perkupp’s office has been most exemplary. My only fear is, it is too good to last.
APRIL 9. Gowing called, bringing with him an invitation for Carrie and myself to a ball given by the East Acton Rifle Brigade, which he thought would be a swell affair, as the member for East Acton (Sir William Grime) had promised his patronage. We accepted of his kindness, and he stayed to supper, an occasion I thought suitable for trying a bottle of the sparkling Algéra that Mr James (of Sutton) had sent me as a present. Gowing sipped the wine, observing that he had never tasted it before, and further remarked that his policy was to stick to more recognized brands. I told him it was a present
from a dear friend, and one mustn’t look a gift-horse in the mouth. Gowing facetiously replied: ‘And he didn’t like putting it in the mouth either.’
I thought the remarks were rude without being funny, but on tasting it myself, came to the conclusion there was some justification for them. The sparkling Algéra is very like cider, only more sour. I suggested that perhaps the thunder had turned it a bit acid. He merely replied: ‘Oh! I don’t think so.’ We had a very pleasant game of cards, though I lost four shillings and Carrie lost one, and Gowing said he had lost about sixpence: how he could have lost, considering that Carrie and I were the only other players, remains a mystery.
APRIL 14. SUNDAY. Owing, I presume, to the unsettled weather, I awoke with a feeling that my skin was drawn over my face as tight as a drum. Walking round the garden with Mr and Mrs Treane, members of our congregation who had walked back with us, I was much annoyed to find a large newspaper full of bones on the gravel-path, evidently thrown over by those young Griffin boys next door; who, whenever we have friends, climb up the empty steps inside their conservatory, tap at the windows, making faces, whistling, and imitating birds.
APRIL 15. Burnt my tongue most awfully with the Worcester sauce, through that stupid girl Sarah shaking the bottle violently before putting it on the table.
APRIL 16. The night of the East Acton Volunteer Ball. On my advice, Carrie put on the same dress that she looked so beautiful in at the Mansion House, for it had occurred to me, being a military ball, that Mr Perkupp, who, I believe, is an officer in the Honourable Artillery Company, would in all probability be present. Lupin, in his usual incomprehensible language, remarked that he had heard it was a ‘bounders’ ball’. I didn’t ask him what he meant though I didn’t understand. Where he gets these expressions from I don’t know; he certainly doesn’t learn them at home.
The invitation was for half-past eight, so I concluded if we arrived
an hour later we should be in good time, without being ‘unfashionable’, as Mrs James says. It was very difficult to find – the cabman having to get down several times to inquire at different public-houses where the Drill Hall was. I wonder at people living in such out-of-the-way
Young Griffin boys making faces, whistling, and imitating birds
places. No one seemed to know it. However, after going up and down a good many badly-lighted streets we arrived at our destination. I had no idea it was so far away from Holloway. I gave the cabman five shillings, who only grumbled, saying it was dirt cheap at half-a sovereign, and was impertinent enough to advise me the next time I went to a ball to take a ’bus.