I looked over to see who was driving – sure enough, it was the doctor’s smarmy little associate at the wheel. I still couldn’t remember the guy’s name.
“Hey there, uh…”
“Walter, Mr Jerome, Walter Smitts. How are you doing, feeling a bit better?” He still had that tone of indignation about him.
“Yes - thank you, Walter. I have to say, I know I was a bit dismissive of you both when we first met-.”
“A bit?” Smitts was loving this, I could tell.
“Okay, look, I was out of line, I was a total ass. I should have listened to you both, the world is indeed full of these, I don’t know what else to call ‘em, vampires, you were right, I was wrong, I’m sorry.”
“It’s quite alright, Mr Jerome, I guess it’s lucky we were on hand to help you out.” Del-Ray was at it now, her tone sounded concerned, but her eyes just yelled, ‘I told you so, dummy!’
“But I have to ask, how did you know where to find me – and what the hell did you do to that vampire?”
“We’ve actually been following you for a little while. You gave us the slip a few times, but eventually we figured if we watched your office for long enough then you’d surely appear,” She smiled a little, “can imagine our surprise when we witnessed a female vampire in high heels exit your office via the first floor window? We would have followed her but she was far too quick, so we were stuck with tailing you.”
“You’re in a hell of a lot of trouble, Mr Jerome, it seems everyone wants a piece of you, vampire or otherwise,”
“No shit, Walter, I had noticed. Mobsters and dirty cops I can deal with, but vampires, they’re something else.”
“Indeed they are, we’ve been tracking them for quite a while.” Now that I appeared to be onside with the whole vampire situation, Del-Ray’s demeanour softened somewhat. “And to answer your other question, this is what happened to the vampire who attacked you in the alleyway.”
She held out a small, rectangular device, smaller than a transistor radio.
“Is it a weapon? It looks a little, uh, underwhelming.”
“Size isn’t everything, Mr Jerome,” she said with a slight hint of flirtatious innuendo. “Walter is something of a genius when it comes to microelectronics, it’s all his handy work, really.”
“But what does it actually do?”
Smitts didn’t need to be asked twice, “We managed to get some samples from the local police department of what we believed to be vampire blood and matter. We didn’t have much to work with, but we had enough to experiment on. We discovered that vampire blood reacts violently to sonic oscillations between a particular range of frequencies.”
“Sonic what?”
In the reflection of the rear view mirror I could see him roll his eyes in disdain at my ignorance. “Okay, and I’m seriously dumbing this down for you. There is a certain sound that literally makes their blood boil. right?”
“Okay, and this device reproduces that sound? That’s pretty neat.”
“Indeed. And it’s small enough to fit in your pocket.”
“You’ve invented a portable sonic vampire exploder?”
“Not exactly the name I’d choose for it, but essentially, yes. Impressed?”
“You know what, I honestly had you down as a bit of a dick, but you’re definitely going up in my estimation, you know that?”
“Thanks, Mr Jerome, I’m truly honoured.”
“Well done, boys, now we’re all buddies we have to level with each other. Mr Jerome, we’ve just saved you from certain death, the least you can do for us is tell us everything you know about the vampires – it’s pretty evident that you now know a lot more about them than you did the last time we met. You can start by telling us all about the blonde with the glowing green eyes and a penchant for clambering up and down buildings?”
So we drove and we talked. Del-Ray and Smitts knew part of what was going on, so I essentially filled in one or two gaps. I wouldn’t normally have been so open with anyone, but when people save your life it kind of changes your attitude a little.
Again, with hindsight I think I’d have possibly asked them a few more questions myself – most notably, exactly who was funding them in their research and investigations in vampirism? I should have asked, but I didn’t. A near death experience can really play havoc with your judgement.
The Santa Justina Institute for Advanced Studies was something of a double bluff. It was housed in an extremely ordinary looking office block, not unlike the one that housed my own office. Yet the reception area was something akin to a science fiction movie – dazzling in its clinical, bright white plastic decor. However, the lab that Del-Ray and Smitts were working from left a massive amount to be desired and destroyed illusion – evidently the reception was just for impressing the public.
The lab was sizable, about 100 square feet, but the equipment looked aged and worn, the lab tables were battered – the whole place looked tired. Del-Ray picked up on my reaction.
“Not as glamorous as you were expecting, eh?”
“I don’t know what I was expecting to be honest. The reception area prepped me for something a bit more, I dunno’ – modern? This reminds me of the chemistry lab at my old high school.”
“It’s the work that counts,” sneered Smitts, “not the splendour of the surroundings.”
“Indeed,” I glanced at my watch, I had somewhat lost track of time. It was just after 10pm, “Say, can I use your phone, I really ought to contact my PA, she’ll be worried.”
“It’s right over there,” indicated Del-Ray, donning a white lab coat.
I dialled Lydia’s home number. It rang a few times then her mother answered.
“Good evening, Mrs Stokes, it’s Johnny here. Can I speak with Lydia, please?”
“Hi Johnny, I’m actually slightly worried. She said she had to pop into the office, just to collect some papers, you know how she is? She wanted to get some work done from home.”
“Oh Christ! When did she go?”
“Well now, about 8pm. I was expecting her back within an hour-.”
“Shit!” And without regard for the fact that I’d probably deeply offended Lydia’s poor mother, I hung up the phone and then frantically dialled my office. It rang twice then a male voice I certainly didn’t recognise answered.
“Yeah?”
“Who the hell are you?”
“Is that you, Jerome?”
“Listen, punk, you’re in my God damn office, talking on my telephone – I think that warrants some explanation, so I’ll ask you again – who the hell are you?”
“Okay, if you’re gonna’ be rude then I guess I’ll just cut to the chase. You don’t need to know who the hell I am, all you need to know is that I got that I’ve got that little bitch of yours right here, and unless you do as I say I’m going to rip her throat out, are we clear?”
“Now you listen to me, if you hurt Lydia so help me I’ll-.”
“You’ll do what, Jerome? You got lucky earlier, you know that? Well your luck has run out. We have someone here who is important to you, and her life depends on you ceasing to be a giant pain in the ass and playing ball. Now, you are going to haul your worthless butt down to the Old Docklands, and you are to bring your friends and their fancy vampire slaying gizmo with. Got it?”
“And if I do that, you’ll let Lydia go?”
“Screw you, Jerome, you’ll do it regardless or you’ll hear the bitch die right now – listen.”