"I did. Before. Remember? You turned me down. I figured you should do the asking this time, not just leave me an opening."
"Fair enough."
"And see, I didn't turn you down."
He was feeling pleased with himself. "Maybe I'm irresistible."
"No, not at all. But you're attractive."
"Knock me down, build me up."
"That's part of the fun, isn't it? Besides, we know where we're going in the end."
Bauer was cheered by Kathy's presence on the walk home, and charged with anticipation of her, canned and deeply gratified by the certainty.
It was good, then, to luxuriate in delay. They exchanged small personal notes, they made some jokes. She was funny, in an intuitive, whacky way. He relaxed. They appraised each other's body frankly, in anticipation, with little smiles.
The western horizon was a brilliant, bloody wound when they reached the cabin. Kathy looked about 'and said, "Where's your dog?"
"I don't know. He… took off into the woods one afternoon. He's been gone two weeks."
"Does he do that?"
"Now and then, but never this long."
"Will he come back?"
"I don't know."
"I'm sorry. But I do feel a little looser, you know? He didn't seem to like people, I was nervous around him."
Bauer had placed an ad in the paper, inquired at the houses around him and hiked hours in the woods calling the dog's name. At first he'd felt rage at the animal, and still had some anger, but, miserably, was of the growing conviction that he had failed both it and his sons.
Recrimination had led to self-revulsion.
He didn't know what he would do when Orph returned, if Orph returned.
Not destroy him, certainly. The dog, he finally understood, was truly dangerous, but-and here he questioned himself to determine, hideous to contemplate, if he loved and needed the animal so much that he'd excuse it the mutilation of his own son-not morally culpable; it simply was what it was, a natural creature that had acted out of nucleic demand.
There was fault, but it was Bauer's. He owed his sons for the pain and brain-stunning terror. He owed Orph, for not having given him the training and discipline that would have precluded an attack.
Ursula's lawyer had served him with divorce papers, including sole custodial rights to the children (the attorney was staunchly in her corner, but did indicate that he thought her position extreme and would try to talk her into reasonableness) and was petitioning the court for an order mandating the dog's destruction.
Whether she succeeded or not, Bauer couldn't keep Orph. Jeff would never come within sight of the dog again, nor would Bauer let him.
There were alternatives. Orph was a superb German shepherd. He was a stray, but there were procedures for obtaining conditional registration papers. Bauer could give him to an exhibitor. Or to a police canine unit, the military, a guard dog school. Someone experienced with a dog of Orph's nature. Any of these, though it saddened him. The loss would be his; Orph would probably find fulfillment. Though he wanted to see Orph and know he'd be properly cared for, part of him hoped the dog would make his home in the wilds and never return. In retrospect, he saw that Orph hadn't been a pet, that his soul had always been in the mountains, alien to the works of men, and that he'd blossom in freedom and become the creature of his blood.
Bauer smoked the joint with Kathy. The grass got beneath him and carried him up; his tactile awareness soared, he thought with clarity, he relaxed and became easy and comfortable with Kathy. Histories weren't important.
They talked of their immediacies, tiny and large, and it was a lubricated exchange. He put the Mass in B Minor on. They lay on the couch. He stroked her hair, he unbuttoned her shirt and caressed her breasts. She told him to roll onto his stomach. She forked him and leaned on her hands and massaged his back. At the end of the "Gloria" she said, "If you go to sleep on me, I'll murder you."
"Not a chance," he murmured.
She got another joint from her purse. It hit him fast. He voluptuated. They touched each other. He explored her mouth with his tongue. Then her tongue was atop his, beneath it, around his cheeks, into the pockets between his lips and teeth. She shrugged out of her shirt and took her jeans and panties off, removed his shirt and trailed her hair and nipples across his chest. She undid his pants. She rolled his shorts down slowly, freeing the swollen hardness of his shaft by degrees, then when it bucked unfettered she slipped her lips over its head, lowered her mouth to its base, then drew back with equal care, and released him. They went into the bedroom. Kathy opened herself and they joined, as key pieces in a puzzle, and found a synchronous rhythm immediately, and they touched each other in different places as they moved and, in a while, their deep rocking ceased to be a means toward an end and became its own significance, he banded her with his arms and they pressed their cheeks together and breathed hypnotically, nearly whole, expanding to a total melding, which was not possible, and gradually drew back into themselves, assenting, and drove steadily deeper, and sensing his tentative imminence she slid from herself to him, assisted, encouraged, accelerated and finally compelled him to hammer into her and he arched his torso up, driving to the limit, and threw his head back and emptied with spasms rippling his body and harshness tearing from his throat. He remained still several moments after it had passed, and then began to move again, pulling her up from the stasis into which she had frozen herself to do for him, catching it before it could fade, and releasing her back to herself, becoming her acolyte, the instrument and partner of her will, and she moved greedily, mindlessly to it, and the ascent was steep, but not far, and as she poised and gathered in, shuddering, on the edge, he wrenched control from her for an instant and pushed her into the resolution over which she hesitated, then subjugated himself again, and her pelvis rose, her eyes opened and widened without focus, and a great elongated "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" issued from her, and as it fell he pounded once, twice, and she soared up again, and he waited until she began to spiral down, then ground into her, and saliva appeared at the corners of her mouth, her head lolling spastically, and he kept her there until she was convulsing and his receding strength deserted him at last and then he lowered his chest to her pillowy breasts and his head sank over her shoulder, and she went limp beneath him.
After silence, she whispered, "Oh my motherfucking God."
Later they did other things.
Bauer woke with the sunrise and the bird chorus. He was lying on his back, Kathy was sleeping on her side, nestled against him. It was a strange sensation. He liked her warmth. He recalled the night with amazement, scarcely able to credit that it had been him. He dissected it and tried to place it in a context. Malaise seeped in around his edges. He made himself stop, but feared he was evading an obligation, defaulting to something he could not name. He shunted the feeling aside. Now, at this moment, he felt good, and he was weary of not feeling good. He intended to let the pleasure live as long as it could. He wondered briefly if he might still be high and decided that if he was, he didn't care. He rolled over and bowed against Kathy, put a hand over her breast. She pressed in without waking. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep, happy.
Orph led, the others followed. The black was more experienced, and better at killing, but Orph was stronger and bolder. Orph ate first, snarling the others away. After a few days he allowed the bitch to eat with him. When he was done and had stepped away, the black and spotted would tear in hungrily.
The pack had killed a few deer in winter, when the animals were foundered in snowdrifts, but the deer were too swift and large otherwise, a larger pack was needed to bring them down, and so they didn't try often, settling for the luck of a very young fawn or an occasional sick or crippled animal.