We sat beside him in silence. I held the old man’s hand whilst Mum produced a book of puzzles and set about working through a page of Sudoku with the single-minded pertinacity of Alan Turing squaring up to a fresh cipher from Berlin. The quiet was broken only fitfully, by the beeps of Granddad’s machine, the rap-tap of my mother’s pen on paper, the occasional passing of a nurse and the distant echo of a telephone. We saw no doctors, no one came to ask who we were or what we were doing and the other patients who shared his ward made no noise at all, not the slightest sound or whimper. I’m not sure exactly what I’d expected — death rattles, I suppose, ragged breathing and delirium — but the business of mortality is quieter than you’d think.
We’d sat in the same miserable tableau for at least half an hour when something appeared in the window behind my granddad. First a frond of red hair swaying in the breeze, then a squitty, pinched face, then a yellow safety jacket, a squirt of foam, the underside of a sponge puckering against the pane.
It looked miraculous, as though the man was levitating. The illusion was shattered when the window cleaner peered through the glass, looked directly at my mother and winked. Mum giggled, the sound of it grotesquely out of place here, like laughter in a morgue or a smirk at a cremation.
I gave the man my frostiest look but I’m afraid I saw Mum grin back.
As if in response to this pantomimed flirtation, the life support machine made a chirrup out of sequence, a squeak of distress, an electronic hiccup. I was on my feet at once, the window cleaner forgotten, casting around for someone to help. But almost immediately the machine returned to the same rhythm as before and Mum told me to stop flapping and sit back down again, all the while admiring the window cleaner from the corner of her eye.
She left a short while later, muttering something about meeting a friend for a drink. Evidently I was not invited so I stayed and sat with Granddad, gripping his hand in mine until, eventually, the nurse returned, growled that visiting hours were over and motioned me toward the door. I laid Granddad’s hand beside him on the bed and, feeling guilty but grateful, walked back into the light, the beeps of the machine still echoing in my ears.
It was cold outside, already growing dark as the day surrendered to the eager dusk of winter. My breath steamed in the air and I was looking forward to getting home when something immensely improbably happened.
First, there was a noise — a sort of faint yelp, a stifled cry, a distant yell of shock.
Then the air seemed to shudder before me and I glimpsed a blur, a kinetic smudge or red, yellow and black. Finally, there was a dull, decisive thwump as something big, fleshy and in pain sprawled by my feet.
I stood very still. I looked away. Then I looked back again just to check that I hadn’t imagined it. But there he was, still there.
A man had fallen from the sky, missing me by inches.
Too numb to move, I stared at him and he, barely breathing, stared back. Distantly, I recognized his squinty face, his mop of ginger hair. The earth around the fallen man glittered with broken glass lit up by the artificial illumination of the hospital — a miniature constellation in the earth.
“Henry…?”
How did he know my name? How on earth did a hospital window cleaner know my name?
“Henry?”
“Hello?” Even to my own ears, I sounded stupid. In the distance — shouted orders, the roar of engines, people sprinting toward us.
“The answer is yes,” he said. “It was a struggle for him to speak and the words forced themselves out in a brittle rasp.
I knelt down beside him and, panicking over what to do next, grabbed for the nearest cliche. “Don’t speak,” I said. “Don’t try to move.”
But the window cleaner seemed determined to talk. “The answer…” he said again, his eyes alight with fervor, like this was the most important thing he’d ever say. “Henry…” He wheezed again, a terrible percussive rattle. “The answer is yes.”
“Then I was pushed aside as people rushed to help, professional life-savers with their flapping coats and sharply worded questions, a babble of don’t touch him and how did he fall and we need to get him inside. Actually, I think the word miracle was tossed around more than once.
Even as they took the man away, levering him gently onto a stretcher, trying to calm him down, giving him something to ease the pain, he was still staring at me, mouthing the same words over and over again.
“The answer is yes.”
I stared back, frozen to the spot.
“The answer is yes.”
He struggled up in his stretcher and tried to shout.
“The answer is yes!”
I suppose it’s unusual to get within spitting distance of thirty without ever having been in love. All I can say is that it’s been worth the wait.
I’d met Abbey six months earlier when, having noticed her advert in the “To Let” section of the city newspaper, I had called round to see her about the spare room. I saw from the instant that she opened the door that I’d never want to share my life with anyone else. Dispiritingly, I saw also that she was radiantly beautiful, a shimmering vision in skinny jeans and canary-yellow heels and therefor stratospherically out of my league.
When I got back from telling about a dozen different people the story of how the window cleaner had fallen at my feet with that unforgettable thwump, she was sitting in the lounge, slouched in front of our TV — an ancient old box which she said had been sitting in the place when she’d bought it.
Abbey seemed tired and disheveled and was doggedly picking her way through a plate of over chips, but she still managed to look heart-piercingly gorgeous.
I said hello and at the sound of my voice, my landlady struggled to sit upright.
“Sit down,” she said, still chewing, reaching for the controller to switch off the TV. “I haven’t seen you for days.” She thrust her plate in front of me. “Have one of these.”
“No, I couldn’t.”
“Please. I can’t finish them.”
“Really, I’m fine.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Have one, then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“P’raps I will. Thanks very much.”
“My pleasure.”
I took a chip.
“How was your day?” Abbey asked, upon which, for the first time in almost a decade, I burst into tears.
After that, we talked. Dabbing surreptitiously at my nose with a Kleenex, I told her about my granddad, the phone call from my mother and the man who’d fallen from the sky. She seemed to sympathize and at one point even made an awkward move toward me as though to offer a hug, although I flinched away and she shifted back.
“Henry?” she said, once the story was told, sounding eager to cheer me up.
“Yes?”
“When’s your birthday? You said it was soon.”
“Oh.” I’d almost forgotten. “Monday. Why?”
“Just wondering.” She raised an eyebrow and seemed to be about to say something else when the telephone rang.
Abbey answered. “I’ll get it,” she said, and looked over at me. “It’s for you.”
Frowning, I took the receiver. “Hello?”
I didn’t recognize the voice. It sounded like it belonged to an elderly woman — crisp and determined, though underscored by a hint of frailty. “Mr. Lamb? Mr. Henry Lamb?”
“Yes.”
“Good evening to you, Mr. Lamb. I’m calling on behalf of a firm called Gadarene Glass. I was wondering if I might interest you in having a new set of windows installed.”
“Actually, I don’t own the house,” I said. “I only rent a room here. But, in any case, I’m sure the answer’s no. And we’d prefer it if you didn’t call so late in the future. Come to think of it, we’d prefer it if you didn’t call at all.” The woman tutted at my impertinence and the line went dead.