God, I was such a shitty friend. But Wesley was just something I had to lie about. To everyone.
When six-forty-five finally rolled around, I grabbed my coat and raced downstairs, already pulling my car keys out of my pocket. I found Dad in the kitchen, microwaving some Pizza Rolls. He smiled at me as I put on my gloves. “Hey, Dad,” I said. “I’ll be back later.”
“Where are you going, Bumblebee?”
Oh, uh, good question. This was a problem I hadn’t anticipated, but when all else fails, tell the truth… or part of it at least.
“I’m going to Wesley Rush’s house. We’re working on a paper for English class. I won’t be home late or anything.” Oh, please, I thought. Please don’t let my cheeks turn red.
“Okay,” Dad said. “Have fun with Wesley.”
I ran out of the kitchen before my face could burst into flames.
“Bye, Dad!”
I practically sprinted out to my car, and I tried very, very hard not to speed when I pulled onto the highway. I was not getting my first ticket because of Wesley Rush. The line had to be drawn somewhere.
Then again, I’d crossed several lines already.
But what exactly was I doing? I’d always mocked girls who screwed Wesley, and yet, here I was, becoming one of them. I told myself there was a difference. Those girls thought they had a shot with Wesley; they found him sexy and appealing-which, in a twisted way, I guess he was. They believed he was a good guy they could tame, but I knew he was a jackass. I only wanted his body. No strings. No feelings. I only wanted the high.
Did that make me a junkie and a slut?
My car came to a stop in front of the gigantic house, and I decided that my actions were excusable. People with cancer smoke pot for medicinal purposes; my situation was very similar. If I didn’t use Wesley to distract me, I would go crazy, so I was really saving myself from self-destruction and a load of therapy bills.
I walked up the sidewalk and rang the doorbell. A second later, the lock clicked and the knob turned. The instant Wesley’s grinning face appeared in the doorway, I knew that, regardless of my reasoning, this entire thing was wrong. Disgusting. Sick. Unhealthy.
And completely exhilarating.
11
I had major sex hair. I stared into the big mirror and tried to flatten the mess of auburn waves while Wesley put his clothes on behind me. Definitely not a situation I’d ever imagined myself in.
“I’m perfectly fine with being used,” he said as he pulled on the tight black T-shirt. His hair was pretty incriminating, too. “But I would like to know for what I’m being used.”
“Distraction.”
“That much I gathered.” The mattress creaked when he flopped down onto his back and tucked his arms behind his head. “What am I supposed to be distracting you from? There’s a chance that, if I know, I could do my job more efficiently.”
“You’re doing just fine already.” I scraped my fingernails through my hair, but it was as good as it would get. Sighing, I turned away from the mirror and faced Wesley. To my surprise, he was watching me with actual interest. “Do you really care?”
“Sure.” He sat up and patted a spot beside him. “There’s more to this amazing body than awe-inspiring abs. I have a pair of ears, too, and they happen to work superbly.”
I rolled my eyes and sat next to him, pulling my feet up onto the bed. “Okay,” I said, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Not that it matters, but I found out that my ex-boyfriend is coming back to town for a week this morning. It’s so stupid, but I panicked. I mean, the last time we saw each other… it didn’t go very well. That’s why I dragged you into the closet at school.”
“What happened?”
“You were there. Don’t make me relive it.”
“I meant with your ex-boyfriend,” Wesley said. “I’m curious. What kind of misery could cause a hateful person like you to run into my muscular arms? Or is he the one who put that layer of ice around your heart?” His words sounded facetious, but his smile seemed sincere, not the lopsided one he wore when he thought he was being clever.
“We started dating during my freshman year,” I began reluctantly. “He was a senior, and I knew that my parents would never let me see him if they knew how old he was. So we kept the whole thing a secret from everyone. He never introduced me to his friends or took me places or talked to me at school, and I just assumed it was to protect us. Well, of course, I was totally wrong.”
My skin itched as Wesley’s eyes steadied on me. God, that annoyed me. He was probably looking at me with pity. Poor Duffy. My shoulders tensed, and I stared at my socks, refusing to see his reaction to my story. A story I’d never told anyone but Casey.
“So I saw him hanging out with this girl a few times at school,” I continued. “Every time I asked, he just said they were friends and not to worry. So I didn’t. I mean, he told me he loved me. I had every reason to believe him. Right?”
Wesley didn’t answer.
“Then she found out. This girl I’d been seeing him with tracked me down at school one day, and she told me to stop screwing her boyfriend. I thought it was a mistake, so I asked him about it…”
“Not a mistake,” Wesley guessed.
“Nope. Her name was Tiffany, and they’d been together since seventh grade. I was the other woman-or girl, technically.”
Slowly, I looked up and saw Wesley making a face. “What a dick,” he said.
“You can’t talk. You’re the biggest playboy there is.”
“True,” he admitted. “But I don’t make promises. He told you he loved you. He made a commitment. I’d never do that. A girl can believe what she wants to believe, but I don’t say anything I don’t mean. What he did is the mark of a true dick.”
“Anyway, he’s back in town this week with Tiffany… his fiancée.”
Wesley let out a low hiss. “Ah, that’s awkward.”
“You think?”
There was a long pause. Finally, Wesley asked, “So, who is he? Would I remember him?”
“I don’t know. You might. His name is Jake Gaither.”
“Jake Gaither.” Wesley’s face twisted in horror. “Jake Gaither? You mean that strange guy? The freak with the acne and hooked nose?” His eyes widened in shock. “How the hell did he get two girls? Why would anyone go out with him? Why would you go out with him? He was a beast.”
I felt my eyebrows contract. “Thanks,” I muttered. “Did you ever think that maybe that’s the best that the Duff could do?”
Wesley’s face fell. He looked away from me, examining our reflections in the mirror across the room. After a few moments of uneasy silence, he said, “You know, Bianca, you aren’t that unattractive. You do have some potential. Maybe if you hung out with different friends-”
“Just stop,” I said. “Look, I’ve already fucked you twice. You don’t have to flatter me. Besides, I love my friends way too much to trade them in for the sake of looking hotter.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I mean, Casey has been my best friend since, like, forever, and she’s the most loyal person I’ve ever met. And Jessica… well, she has no idea about me and her brother. We weren’t friends back then. In fact, I didn’t want to know her after Jake and I split, but Casey said it would be good for me, and she was right… as usual. Jessica can be a little ditsy, but she’s the sweetest, most innocent person I know. I could never give either of them up just to look good. That’d make me a real dumbass.”
“Then they’re lucky to have you.”
“I just said not to flatter-”
“I’m being honest.” Wesley frowned at the mirror. “I have only one friend-one real friend. Harrison is the only guy who will be seen with me, and that’s because we aren’t trying to attract the same audience, if you know what I mean.” A small smile spread across his lips when he turned to face me. “Most people will do anything to avoid being the Duff.”