“Black Tears,” he answered.
Yep. That sounded like Emo shit to me.
“Cool.”
“I’ve never heard their music,” Toby admitted, running a hand over his bowl cut blond hair. “But people have told me they’re good. Plus, they’re about the only band in Hamilton. It seems like everyone else who plays here is from Oak Hill.”
“Uh-huh.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, conscious of Wesley’s eyes on me. The way they crept along my skin made me insane, and I hoped that Toby wouldn’t notice me twitching. He’d probably think I was on crack or something.
“I finished Wuthering Heights,” I said, desperate to start a conversation that would get my thoughts off Wesley. It took me a minute to realize this was definitely not the best subject for that task.
“Did you like it?” Toby asked.
“Well, it gave me a lot to think about.” I could have slapped myself. Wasn’t it that damn book that had me so freaked out in the first place? Why did I have to bring it up? But it was too late to change the topic now. Toby had jumped into a full-on book critique.
“I know. I’ve always wondered what made Emily Brontë choose to write such unpleasant characters. I mean, throughout the whole book, I just thought that both Heathcliff and Linton were such bastards, and Cathy…”
I swirled my straw in my drink, only half listening. Every time Toby said Heathcliff, my eyes automatically darted over his shoulder to glance at Wesley. As always, he looked gorgeous, wearing jeans and a tight white T-shirt beneath a slightly too large black jacket. He was sitting alone at the bar, stretched out and casually leaning back with both elbows on the bar molding. Alone. Not a single girl clinging to him. Hell, even Harrison had disappeared. Joe was the only person close enough to keep him company, and he seemed to be busy with a herd of thirsty Goth kids.
Wesley’s eyes stayed fixed on me the entire time. From where I sat, it was hard to read their expression, but they never wavered for a second. Yeah, it was unnerving, but I knew that I would’ve been disappointed, maybe even hurt, if I’d found that he’d turned away. I actually caught myself checking every few minutes to see if he was still watching me.
“Bianca?”
Startled, I focused on Toby again. “Hmm?”
“Are you all right?” he asked.
My fingers had been toying with the little B charm around my neck without my realizing it. Immediately I dropped my hand to my side. “I’m fine.”
“Casey warned me that you’re probably lying when you say that,” he said.
I gritted my teeth and searched the dance floor for my so-called friend. She was being added to my hit list.
“And I think she’s right,” Toby sighed.
“What?”
“Bianca, I can see what’s going on.” He glanced over his shoulder at Wesley before turning back to me with a little nod. “He’s been staring at you since he got here.”
“Has he?”
“I can see him in the mirrors over there. And you’ve been staring back,” Toby said. “It’s not just tonight either. I’ve seen the way he looks at you during school. In the hallways. He likes you, doesn’t he?”
“I… I don’t know. I guess.” Oh God, this was uncomfortable. I just kept spinning my straw between my fingers and watching the little waves that appeared on the surface of my drink. I couldn’t meet Toby’s gaze.
“I don’t have to guess,” he said. “It’s pretty obvious. And the way you look at him makes me think you’re in love with him, too.”
“No!” I cried, releasing my straw and glaring up at Toby. “No, no, no. I am not in love with him, okay?”
Toby gave me a small smile and said, “But you do have feelings for him.”
I couldn’t see any sign of pain in his eyes, just a touch of amusement. That made it a lot easier to give him an answer. “Um,… yeah.”
“Then go to him.”
I rolled my eyes without meaning to. It was just so automatic. “Jesus, Toby,” I said, “that sounds like a line out of a bad movie.”
Toby shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m serious, Bianca. If you feel that way about him, you should go over there.”
“But what about—?”
“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “If you want Wesley, that’s who you should be with right now. Dating me won’t make your feelings for him go away…. I should know. Definitely don’t worry about me, Bianca. The truth is, I’m in the same situation as you. I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“How?”
Now Toby was the one staring at his drink, nervously adjusting his glasses. “I’m not over Nina.”
“Nina? Your ex?”
He nodded. “We broke up over a month ago, but I still think about her a lot. I really do like you, so I thought that if we dated, maybe I’d forget about her. For a while I did, but…”
“Well then, you should call her,” I said. “Instead of just sitting here pouting, you should call Nina and tell her how you feel. Tonight.”
He brought his eyes back up to meet mine. “You’re not angry? You don’t feel used?”
“That would make me a huge hypocrite since I was kind of using you, too. Even though I really didn’t mean to.” I slid out of the booth and paused to steady myself on the platform shoes. “And for the record, if Nina doesn’t take you back, she’s a moron. I think you’re probably the sweetest, most polite guy I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve had a massive crush on you for years. I seriously wish you were the one for me.”
“Thanks,” Toby said. “And if Wesley breaks your heart, I promise to… well, I would say I’d kick his ass, but we both know that’s physically impossible.” He frowned down at his skinny arms. “So I’ll write him a strongly worded letter.”
“Okay,” I snorted. I leaned across the table and kissed Toby on the cheek. “And thank you.”
He gave me one more perfect smile, one I would remember for the rest of my life, and said, “You’re stalling. Hurry up and go.”
“Right. Okay. See you in class, Toby.”
“Good-bye, Bianca.”
I took a long, deep breath to calm my nerves as I locked eyes with Wesley again. Then, with a weak smile pulling at the corners of my mouth, I began to push my way through the crowded club, leaving behind the nicest guy in the world. The familiar techno music had stopped playing, and everyone on the floor stood around waiting for the band to go onstage. I had to zigzag between their stationary bodies, no one being considerate enough to step aside for even a millisecond.
I spotted Casey in the crowd—her blond head towering over everyone but the boy beside her, the basketball player she’d been eyeing for weeks—and I knew she wouldn’t like my decision. In her head, it was Wesley’s fault I’d neglected her. She’d be upset with me. She might even get pissed. She’d think I was leaving her behind again. I would just have to prove her wrong. Prove to her that Toby, whom she adored, wasn’t right for me.
When I was about three yards from the bar, a sound filled the speakers, but it wasn’t the Emo music I was expecting. Instead, a screech of feedback assaulted my ears—and totally scared the shit out of me. I was so startled that I jumped, which wouldn’t have been a big deal in any other shoes.
My foot landed on the side of my platform, throwing me completely off balance. Before I could recover, my ankle gave way and sent me flying—face first, naturally—into the wooden floor. Fan-freaking-tastic!
I couldn’t help letting out a whimper as pain shot through my twisted ankle. “Fuck!” I groaned. “Ow, ow, ow! God, I hate these damn shoes.”
“Then why did you wear them?”
My skin tingled as two hands lifted me by the elbows and guided me into a standing position. Realizing I wasn’t stable on my feet, Wesley wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me over to a bar stool.