He took the pile of papers and went through them one by one.
“I have nobles whose sworn purpose is to aid me, but they aid no one but themselves. Those who have sworn to see to our defence milk this country’s purse and build private armies funded from my coffers. Some play a double game, fraternising with subversives and traitors. Others plot to replace me with someone more to their liking. Some horde stores, hiking prices until they can swell their purses on the backs of the poor, selling them short loaves made with confiscated grain. This must end.”
“Where would you have us start, My Liege?” said Le Brun.
“Understand,” said the King. “I am not so careless that I can replace those who undermine my efforts without consequence. I am not offering you their seats. Instead we must lay a double game to match theirs. We work behind the scene, eliminating where we must, bolstering where we can, until the walls are shored up and the gates will hold. Fitzrou, you will be my eyes and ears abroad. The best defence is to head off the attack before it starts. You have the connections, use them.
“Yes, My Liege.”
“Le Brun, you have the military expertise. Let anyone who comes to our shores with evil intent regret their folly. Make us strong, and make us ready.”
“Aye, My Liege.”
“Mowbray, where Fitzrou protects us abroad, I want you to guard home and hearth. Bring peace to this land. Root out dissent where it cannot be turned to our accord, quell the riots, protect the weak and the helpless. Make it a land worthy of a man’s pride and a woman’s love.”
“I will, My Liege.”
“Giffard, I need your unquestioned integrity. When matters are brought before my courts I want them tried openly and fairly. Make the King’s justice a deterrent against villainy and the bulwark of the honest man, whoever he may be.”
“It will be done, My Liege.”
“Montgomerie, your service has long been a source of comfort to me, and your head for numbers is ever a boon. I need a tax regime that works, one that is fair, even-handed and straight. I want every man to know what he owes, and all men to pay only what they must. I need to know who is yet owing and who has already paid, lest any man pay twice while another goes untaxed. I need a man to put me in remembrance of all things owing to the King.
“You have him, My Liege.”
The King nodded, and turned to De Ferrers at his right hand. He regarded him long and hard, until De Ferrers asked, “What of me, My Liege? What would you have me do?”
“Your task is simply named, and the least simple of all,” said the King. “It is the greatest of burdens since it will eat at the heart of you until you trust no one and give no man but a second glance without wondering what else is in his heart.”
“Name it, My Liege,” said De Ferrers, “for I am yours to command.”
“Your task,” said the King, “is to keep the secrets of the kingdom.”
I found myself lying on my side on the bench. The pain brought me back from the dark place I’d been hiding, the smell of burning candle wax and damp wool still lingering from my dream. From a distance I was like a wino who’d had too much, just another homeless person, kipping down on a bench. Only when you got close could you see the blood. If I called for help, no one would come. I would lie here until my magic claimed me, and then I would fall into dust and scatter under the night sky. Part of me wanted that — anything to make the pain stop. I drifted again, the welcoming dark claiming me.
What brought me back the second time was having my face slapped. “Come on, stupid. Talk to me.”
“Blackbird?” I whispered.
“No, you idiot, it’s me.” Amber’s voice coalesced through the haze of pain,
“Warm Amber,” I mumbled.
“You’re hallucinating,” she said. “You have to help yourself.”
“If it’s warm… why am I… so cold?” I asked her.
“You’ll be a lot colder in a minute if you don’t help yourself.” She shook me by the lapels. “Reach inside, Dogstar. It’s there, waiting. Let it out.”
“Waiting?” I sighed. “What for?”
“The power is within you. It can sustain you and heal your wounds. You have to let it out.”
“Let me be…” It was too hard. Too difficult.
“What’s Blackbird going to say if I let you die? Tell me that?” Amber pinched my ear, trying to get my attention. It was nothing against the pain I was retreating from.
“Let me be…”
“Listen. Reach inside. Open yourself to it. It’ll help with the pain. Do it.”
“It hurts…” I said.
“Do it now.”
Within me there was a flicker, a light that lost its spark. Around it, creeping darkness flared, easing into me, winding its way through my veins. “Light’s gone out…” I said.
“What light?” she asked. “Show me.”
“The one inside…” The light flickered again, responding to my attention. I focused on it, and it became stronger. “That light…” It flared into life within me, opening the dark well of power that formed the core of my being. I opened my eyes to find Amber’s face dappled in moonlight, leaning over me.
“Gently,” she said. “Slowly.”
“Someone will see…” I said.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll deal with that. Let your power extend. Open yourself up to the world and let the pain go. Let your power make you whole.”
“I don’t know how,” I said.
“Yes, you do. Your power knows how. Stop trying to hold the pain inside you. Let it spill out. Let the pain out, and the world in.”
If I let the pain go it would consume me, or that’s what it felt like. I would be burned up, lost in the intensity of it. Maybe that’s what she wanted. Maybe that’s what I deserved. And yet, as my magic lay like moonlit velvet around us, I could feel it connecting. It was feeding from the earth and the air that surrounded us, bringing me sustenance, holding back the tide. I let it extend a little and I could feel as it crept out across the grass, as it lent tiny pulses of warmth to my failing body.
Distracted for a moment from the pain, I felt the well of power within me dilate and spill out. It ran out away across the grass like invisible tendrils seeking warmth and life. It crept around Amber, but she slapped it back with a warding. Instead, it spread out through the trees, winding through the gaps in the fences, creeping across roads and under cars, into houses, through the cracks in windows, under the gaps in doors.
All around me there was life. The dense urban landscape was teaming with it, each buzzing with energy, radiating warmth. The threads of power tapped into that energy like roots absorbing ground water. Each tendril took a little of what it could find, pulling back a little of the whole. It travelled back along the threads, building until it was a stream of life, a flood of energy and power.
I felt the pain diminish as the power sang within me. I felt the cold dark power withdraw back into the well inside me as warmth crept back into my veins. My cold, pallid skin warmed and then flushed as it flooded my senses. Inside me, the twisted agony unravelled to be replaced by a tenderness that spoke of healing. The release of not needing to hold back the pain was like a weight taken from me, and I could finally let it go.
I opened my eyes to find Amber looking down at me. “Not too much at once,” she said. “Slowly. I think the bleeding is slowing.”
“I feel like I’ve been desiccated,” I told her in a hoarse whisper, “my throat is so dry,”
She looked around. “If I leave you here for five minutes are you going to die on me?”
I looked around from my limited position lying on the bench. “I don’t see what damage I can do, except perhaps bludgeon myself to death on the bench.”