“I was thinking about Fellstamp, and about Fionh,” I said.
“They are foremost in all our thoughts,” said Garvin.
“It seems that at least some of this can be laid at my door — mine and Blackbird’s.”
“I’m not blaming anyone,” said Garvin, “Except perhaps Fionh. If I’d known that she felt that way then perhaps I would have been able to accommodate her elsewhere.” He sighed heavily. “No, I’m kidding myself. If I’d have known, then I would have been forced to strip her of Warder status. I can’t have Warders choosing their own sides and playing one off against another — she knew that.”
“She was right about one thing. We’ve brought you nothing but trouble,” I said.
“If that’s true, and I’m not saying it is, then it is trouble of our own making. We set off down this road because it was what we had to do. I came to apologise.”
“What for?”
“For not trusting you. For failing to recognise the treachery where it lay. For assuming that you were the traitor.”
“It was an obvious conclusion,” I said.
“And one exploited by Fionh to sow the seeds of doubt in my mind. When I think back… she used my own prejudice against me.”
“It’s where we are most vulnerable,” I acknowledged, “and she was ever one to exploit a weakness.”
“So she was.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked him.
“Now? I’m going to go and tell the Lords and Ladies that the Warders are down to five. I’m going to tell them that their confidences may not be as secret as they would wish, and that the fault is mine. I’m going to offer my resignation.”
“Resign? Why?”
“In these circumstances, it’s the right thing to do. The Warders have failed them, and it’s my responsibility. I was blind-sided and I should have known. That has led to the Warders going from seven to five. We are weakened and our enemies are all around us.”
“Perhaps that was our enemy’s intent. You don’t think they’ll accept your resignation, do you?”
“I don’t know what they’ll do,” he admitted. “These are strange times, Niall.”
“If you go, I’ll go too,” I said.
He shook his head. “I’m offering my resignation, but it’s up to them to decide, Niall. I swore an oath to serve until they release me from service, as did you. It’s not up to me whether I go. The same applies to you. You can’t resign.”
“What will the Warders be without you, Garvin?”
“That,” he said, “is not for me to say.” He stood and offered his hand, which is a gesture of profound trust amongst the Feyre where a touch can be an opportunity to exercise power over another.
I took his hand and held it for a moment. “I’m sorry about Fellstamp — about both of them.”
“Me too,” he said, releasing my hand and straightening his jacket.
As he left the room, I called after him, “Good luck.”
The problem was, I thought luck had very little to do with it.
FOURTEEN
I was waiting for Blackbird when she returned from the meeting of the High Court. “I have something to tell you,” I told her.
“Garvin just explained,” she said. “We all need time to think through the implications. None of us openly suspected Fionh, and we’re now all wondering who knew and who didn’t. It was a surprise, I think, for most of us.” She unzipped her dress and stepped out of it, hanging it carefully on the waiting hanger. “I wish I believed it was a surprise for all of us.”
“Is Garvin still Head of the Warders?” I asked.
“For now. He’s offered his resignation, but the High Court hasn’t accepted it. They’ve asked for time to consider the matter, which would probably be the right thing to do if we had time. The trouble is, I don’t think we do.”
“So what happens in the meantime?” I asked.
“Nothing. That’s the problem. Garvin asked the same question, and the answer was far from clear. They’ve asked for time, and he has no choice but to grant them all they want.”
“Without Garvin, the Warders are leaderless,” I pointed out.
“I never thought I’d hear myself say this,” said Blackbird, “but we need Garvin. There isn’t anyone else who can ensure the safety of the courts, and the idea of choosing a successor is ludicrous. Who will take his place? Amber? Slimgrin? Tate’s a great Warder, but he’s a follower, not a leader, and you’re just not ready for that kind of role.”
She didn’t say it unkindly, but she saw my face fall. “I’m only stating facts, Niall. You are coming to terms with life as a Warder, but you’re not ready to lead. You don’t have the experience, or the confidence of the other Warders or the High Court, and you know it. The trouble is, I don’t think anyone else does either.”
She slipped into her skirt and top, and used the mirror to reorganise the tangled curls of her hair.
“Anyway,” I said. “That wasn’t what I meant when I said I had something to tell you.”
“There’s something else? I think I’ve had my share of surprises for one day, don’t you? What now?” she asked. “Alex has disappeared again? More new arrivals? Another disaster to clean up?”
“I went to see Kareesh.”
She put the dress away. “Did you take her anything? Not boiled sweets, I hope.”
“She wasn’t there.”
“If she doesn’t want to see you Niall, you mustn’t take it personally. What did you want from her anyway?”
“You’re missing the point. I went to see her and she’d gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“I don’t know. Neither does Gramawl.”
That got her attention. “I don’t understand. She never goes anywhere without Gramawl. I don’t think she’s capable of going anywhere without him.”
“It seems that may be a misconception,” I pointed out gently.
She shook her head. “You’ve made a mistake. She probably in one of her moods. She’s being difficult. She can be like that for days.”
“She’s not there. It’s deserted. Gramawl is waiting in the tunnels waiting for her return. I don’t think he knows what else to do.” I told her what I’d found at the top of the stairway, and my limited conversation with Gramawl.
She sat down on the bed heavily. “But where could she go?” asked Blackbird. “There isn’t anywhere.”
“She’s gone somewhere,” I said. “Maybe we can send out a message, you know, ask around, get people to look out for her?”
“It won’t do any good,” said Blackbird. “If Gramawl can’t find her then no one else is going to be able to. I can’t understand why she’d do that to him.”
I sat down on the bed next to her. “Gramawl seems to think that she’s going somewhere he can’t follow.” I said it as gently as I could. “He’s so much younger than she is — more vital.”
“She wouldn’t leave him, would she?” she said. “Not like that.”
I held her against me and she passed her arms around my waist and rested her head against my shoulder as if the world were heavy on her shoulders. I stroked her hair and tried to ease the burden, knowing that whatever I could do would not be enough.
After a while, we went down and collected the baby from Lesley, who was talking with Mullbrook in the Kitchen. The baby held his arms out to Blackbird to be picked up and then sat on her lap and played with her hair while she explained what had happened with Fionh. I think Mullbrook already knew, but he listened patiently, perhaps gaining some insight from Blackbird’s own perspective. Then Mullbrook asked her about the naming ceremony, which I hadn’t had chance to mention to her, and it came out that Lesley and I had been discussing it. I thought she would be cross with me for planning something without her, but she was OK about it, making suggestions and acknowledging that it was time our son had a name.
“You’ve chosen a name?” Lesley asked me. “Don’t tell me what it is, but you have chosen one, yes?”
“We haven’t really thought about it,” I said. Blackbird looked strangely shifty, suddenly, for reasons I couldn’t fathom.
“You do know it’s your choice?” said Lesley, glancing at Blackbird.