“You’re afraid I’ll be trouble,” she sobbed.
“I’ve never said that. But I’m afraid it will be harder on you when we have one more.”
It was during the first months of her pregnancy that she always felt indisposed and irritated. This difficult time, during which it was impossible to please her, would now fall during the actual crossing. But he would have acted more wisely if he had never voiced his apprehensions.
He took hold of her hand, which was limp and without response. But he kept it in his own and continued.
Things had to be as they were; no one could change them. And as long as they had nothing to accuse each other of, they might as well forget their quarrel. Now, when they were to travel so far away and build their home anew, they must stick together. Otherwise they would never succeed. They would ruin things for themselves if they quarreled and lived at odds with each other. They would hurt only themselves and their children if they pulled in different directions; they would ruin their good natures and their joy in work, now when they more than ever needed to be hardy and fearless. Shouldn’t they, this last evening at home, agree to be friends and peaceful at all times? She wanted to be his friend, as before, didn’t she?
“Of course I want to, but. .”
She sobbed dryly and was seized with hiccoughs after crying.
“Why but? As long as you want to.”
“Karl Oskar. . You understand. . I don’t feel well.”
“I know it.”
“You must speak kindly to me.”
“I won’t speak unkindly to you, Kristina.”
“Will you promise?”
Kristina was becoming more calm; she realized that she too had been unjust. She had lost her temper. But he had used such irritating words: “It could not be more ill-timed.” Those words had escaped him and he must have meant something by them. Didn’t he mean that she would ruin the journey for him through her pregnancy? It had sounded as if she had done all she could in order to be with child again. When, on the contrary, it always was he who was ready in bed! Perhaps she had misunderstood him; however, it was difficult to forget such ugly words.
But she remembered also how kind he mostly was toward her. Like that first time she was with child: her complexion had changed, her face had been covered with ugly brown spots. She used to be shocked when she looked in the mirror, she had looked like an old woman although she had been barely nineteen. She had felt she must run away and hide from people, particularly from Karl Oskar. She had never dreamt that wedded life would distort her. She had complained to her mother, who only laughed and said her brown complexion would soon disappear. The one to comfort her had been Karl Oskar, who had said that the brown spots were becoming to her. He was happy over them! She had the spots because she was to bear a child, she was to bear a child because she had been with him, and she had been with him because she loved him. The ugly brown complexion was to Karl Oskar a proof of her love for him. How could he be anything but happy over it?
She would never forget the time he said this. And now she was again expecting the brown spots which would ruin her skin. She knew that she otherwise had a fairly nice face, perhaps even handsome, with evenly rounded, fair cheeks. But her face remained pretty such short times — only in between pregnancies.
Kristina’s hand grasped her husband’s fingers more firmly. “Karl Oskar, we must be friends. . for all times!”
“We agree, then.”
“Yes. It’s true, as you say; we must hold together. Nothing else will help us.”
And she rose hastily and busied herself; how could she have time to sit here and shed tears an evening like this when she had a hundred chores to do, chores which could not be delayed till tomorrow — not one of them. Now she must hurry as if it were butter to be raked from a fire; the buttons must go on Johan’s new jacket, Lill-Märta’s newly washed nightshirt must be mended and ironed, and her own nightshirt, and Karl Oskar’s shirt for tomorrow, and then — then — She was a foolish woman, causing trouble this last evening.
Karl Oskar was soon adjusted to the thought that in seven or eight months his family would increase.
He said this was really good luck for them because now the captain would be cheated out of the passage for one person; their fourth child would accompany them without a penny’s expense! What mightn’t one day become of this emigrant who already was so clever that he managed to get a free passage to America?
Then Kristina burst out in joyful laughter. Shortly before she had wept; now she attended laughingly to the last chores for the journey to the land where she and Karl Oskar were to build their second home.
THE FIRST EMIGRANTS
from Ljuder Parish, who left their homes April 4, 1850
Karl Oskar Nilsson, homeowner, 27 years.
Kristina Johansdotter, his wife, 25 years.
Their children:
Johan, 4 years.
Märta, 3 years.
Harald, 1 year.
Robert Nilsson, farmhand, 17 years.
Danjel Andreasson, homeowner, 46 years.
Inga-Lena, his wife, 40 years.
Their children:
Sven, 14 years.
Olof, 11 years.
Fina, 7 years.
Eva, 5 months.
Arvid Pettersson, their servant, 25 years.
Unmarried Ulrika of Västergöhl, status unknown, 37 years.
Elin, her daughter, 16 years.
Jonas Petter Albrektsson, homeowner, 48 years.
WHY THEY EMIGRATED
Karl Oskar Nilsson: I seek a land where through my work I can help myself and mine.
Kristina: I go with my husband, but I do so with hesitation and half in regret.
Robert Nilsson: I do not like masters.
Danjel Andreasson: I wish to freely confess the God of the twelve apostles in the land He shall show me.
Inga-Lena: “Whither thou goest, I will go; where thou diest will I die, and there will I be buried.”
Arvid: I want to get away from the “Bull of Nybacken.”
Ulrika of Västergöhclass="underline" Sweden — this hellhole!
Elin: My mother has told me. .
Jonas Petter of Hästebäck: I can no longer endure cohabitation with my wife Brita-Stafva; from now on let happen to me what may.
XII. ALL GATES OPEN ON THE ROAD TO AMERICA
— 1—
They set out on a Thursday, and the day was well chosen. The heathen god with the hammer — Thor — had been a mighty god in whom their forebears had put their trust, and still far into Christian times his weekday was considered an auspicious day for the beginning of a new venture. Besides, there was a new moon, a good omen for the emigrants.
Nearly a thousand years had passed since people of this region had gathered into groups to sail the sea toward the west. At that time women and children had remained at home. But then as now the departing men had taken edged tools on their journey; the forefathers had armed themselves with weapons, this time the weapons were implements of peace, packed in the bottoms of the chests — broadaxes, augers, hammers, planes. This time the people traveled on a different errand.
Karl Oskar had hired a team of horses and a flat-wagon from the churchwarden in Åkerby, and the team and its driver arrived shortly before sunup. He, Robert, and the driver loaded the wagon; the America chest was so heavy that the three of them had to use their combined strength to get it onto the wagon.