He was happy to speak as if these were the things that brought him to his morning ritual of a beer and conversation on the days he flew.
He moved from goggles to dreams, however. A seamless transition. “I often freeze in my dreams,” he said. “I can wake in a midsummer sweat in my rooms in Spich and continue to shiver from the cold in my dreams. In my dreams I have forgotten my overcoat or my gloves and I pay dearly for that.”
Dettmer paused. He turned his head toward the bar, as if thinking he should have another beer.
But he looked back to me.
He said, “Or the opposite. I am on fire. We all have these dreams, you know. The day is soon coming when their planes can climb fast enough to catch us. Or when they create an incendiary shell that can reach us, and the first one to touch our airship’s skin will turn us into a fireball. We will have a brief time to decide then, each of us. We carry no parachutes, you understand. And so my men and I have each made a decision. Some of us will leap and some of us will stay. Some will die falling to earth and some will die consumed by fire in the heavens.”
Dettmer stopped speaking. His eyes moved to mine and then to the Iron Cross pinned to my chest. He smiled a faint smile at me. He figured I understood. He figured men could talk like this to each other if they each understood.
I did understand.
I wished it were for the reasons he assumed.
I wished I were fighting this war in a way that earned this moment between us.
Instead, I was barely able to remain seated in the chair.
But I stayed.
The innkeeper’s boy arrived. He put the plates of sausage and kraut before us.
“Perhaps some food?” Jeremy said to Dettmer.
“Thanks,” he said. “I have to go now to prepare.”
Having remained in Dettmer’s presence, I’d come back to my own obedience, my own place in this war that wasn’t quite yet an American war. But things were being done in the world that should not be done. And as an American I was dealing with that.
Dettmer, at least, had established preparations to make. A clear and specific path to the completion of his mission, however arduous or frightful that might be. I was still improvising.
So I said to him, “What are the preparations to fly your airship?”
He was glad to come back from his dreams and to focus on the routine.
“I will put my men to work,” he said. “The chief engineer, the helmsmen, the radioman, the gunners, the bombing officer, the sailmaker. The engines are to be examined, the elevator and rudder controls tested, also the telegraph and the Maxims. The bombs must be loaded precisely. The gas cells must be checked for leaks.”
“When do you board?” I asked. “When are all the checks completed and you go to your stations?”
“We board in the hangar,” he said. “The final taking on of gas and ballast and ordnance is a delicate thing. The balance of lift and load. That is part of the preparation. Our very body weight must be accounted for. Only the watch officer remains outside to oversee the ground crew at the launching.”
The timing seemed terribly off.
My physical presence on the airship during preparations, which I’d blithely assumed to be possible, would throw off the weight adjustments. I would have no access to the interior. But there was nowhere outside to effectively place the bomb. Nor the opportunity to do it, in plain sight.
I’d trusted too much on my ability to improvise.
“I must go now,” Dettmer said.
He rose.
I rose too.
He started to salute.
Instead, I offered my hand to him.
We shook.
He held my hand for a moment, even after I’d stopped the shaking. “Thank you, sir,” he said.
My mind thrashed.
Dettmer turned to walk away.
And then I thought of the ground crew and their supervision.
“Major,” I said.
He turned back.
“Does the watch officer fly with you?”
“Yes, of course.”
“How do you account for his weight in your preparation?”
“He is the last to come on board, once the ship is outside the hangar. Till then we have a man with us to take his place.”
My mind settled.
“May I have the honor of sharing the last hour before your launch? Perhaps I could take the place of your watch officer’s substitute.”
Dettmer straightened instantly to attention. Of course.
But he had a practical matter first.
He broke from his uprightness to give me a once-over.
Apparently I was close enough in size. He stood at attention again and snapped me a salute. “It would be our honor, sir.”
Perhaps it was the sudden impression I had of myself as a fraud that prompted the question that came then to my mind. A fraud especially to this man before me. Perhaps the question was prompted by the way I dealt with that, thinking I was no fraud at all, that I was no more a fraud than any actor in any role, that my role in this drama was crucial, that I had lives in London to save and I had no alternative. Perhaps this most important reality led me back into the character of Colonel Klaus von Wolfinger and it was he who prompted me to ask the question. Or maybe it was my true self — the newspaper reporter looking for the arresting personal detail in a story of life and death — maybe it was Christopher Cobb the reporter, who could be as hardened as any secret service officer when necessary, who prompted the question. Whatever or whoever it was, to my shame, I finished with Major Dettmer by asking, “If the day comes that you dream about, which are you? Earth or sky?”
He did not hesitate. “I am afraid of fire,” he said. “I will jump.”
53
Major Dettmer saluted me smartly. I saluted him. I did not watch him leave.
Jeremy ate. I did not. We neither of us said a thing.
Then he rose.
“May I borrow your case?” he said.
It was sitting on the floor at my feet. I retrieved it and handed it to him.
We nodded at each other and he went off to activate the bomb.
I touched the handle of my coffee cup and I let it go. I did not know my way forward. Not yet. Which was the nature of improvisation, after all, not to know the next thing to do until the present thing is done. For now, sit here. That was clear. Receive a phone call. Passive things, however. The other actors in our little drama were the ones presently at work. The plot went forward only if the weather was clear. Which it likely would be. So after the waiting, my own next move would be to make sure that Sir Albert Stockman — British parliamentarian, crypto-Hun, aspiring poisoner of London, and paramour of a world-famous actress — was prevented from arriving at the Zeppelin air base this afternoon.
Did we need to kill him?
Was he intrinsically dangerous?
If either Jeremy or I made it out of this alive, Stockman would never be able to return to his phony life in England. He would be known for what he was and Germany would be stuck with him. And if our plan to expose and discredit the poison gas air attack worked, his dangerous usefulness would mostly vanish.
There were, of course, other considerations on this question, personal to me, that would fit into either pan of the balance scale. But, in fact, I did not have to decide right now. We couldn’t kill him this afternoon anyway. Not in the hotel room, certainly. Not in broad daylight in a German town. We couldn’t effectively remove him from the hotel, either living or dead.
Then I thought: The body could stay in place. Isabel could play the role of terrified witness and grieved lover with ease. But the deed might get noisy in the doing. And word of his killing could make it to the air base before the mission and stymie things.