“I must be mad.” He looked over at me as I spoke, I smiled to myself. “No offence.” He was the first animal I had seen since the bombings.
Our street seemed a little eerie deserted like this. It felt like no one lived on it anymore, but there must have been ten houses on this stretch of road, and I had seen so many people on the street just after the attacks. I wondered where they were now. Maybe they’d left for a safer place to wait it out until the emergency services arrived.
As I neared our house and the road began to fill with sunlight, I noticed that a couple of the houses had been damaged, broken windows and scorch marks from a fire. That struck me as odd when most of the homes looked as perfect as they always had. On the whole, it was a lovely street. The houses with the damage had belonged to migrant families. I felt ashamed that people could be so stupid. I hoped that they were somewhere safe. I didn’t allow my mind to take me to where I thought they may be if they weren’t.
On our driveway I opened up the car, obediently the dog jumped out and ran over to the front door and sat down on the mat.
“Erm, actually buddy, you’re going to stay in the garage. Sorry.” The dog’s head tilted up to look at me and then followed my finger towards the garage door. His thick fur coat brushed my legs as he walked in front of me and sat down again this time in front of the garage. “Good boy.” I opened the garage door and piled everything from the car inside. I was as quick as I could then closed the door once the dog had sauntered in. I turned to lock the car and was about to go back towards the house when I heard a high pitched cry over my shoulder.
“You!”
Fear rose up in me and closed off my throat. Not again! I hadn’t recovered from the previous encounter with a fellow survivor.
Planting my feet as I turned, I came face to face with a very drunk, very angry, Joanne. I tried to speak, but I was so taken by surprise that I knew this woman that I couldn’t think what to say to her. Joanne, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have that problem.
“You self-righteous bitch tucked up nicely in your big house. Where’s your little baby eh?” I looked at her properly, she looked ill. There was something seriously wrong here.
My stomach turned as I realised what could have happened to cause her to act in such a crazy way. “Wanna know about mine? About my babies?”
“Joanne, I am so sorry.”
“You already know, don’t you? I can tell by the look on your face!” She shoved her hand up and tried to grab my face. I was lucky she was drunk. Her balance was off, and she didn’t manage to touch me. I twisted away from her, and she fell into a large planter by the side of the driveway.
I needed to try to calm her down and get her away from my house. I did not know how to handle this situation but knew that I must get her talking. Rationally. God this was turning out to be the worst day of my life, and it wasn’t even 9 am.
“Joanne, how can I help you? Is there anything you need? Maybe I can get you something? Or for the children?” I should not have mentioned her family. That was my mistake. Her eyes burned into me.
“What children?” she spat in my face. “I’ve got none left. They’re all dead. Andy’s left me. I haven’t seen him for over a fortnight. Jimmy was the only one left. My baby. It’s been just him and me for the past week, and then in the night, he started coughing up blood.” She sobbed. “This morning he won’t wake up. He’s always awake before me.”
Listening to her my eyes filled with tears. I was horrified at what she had told me. How was I supposed to comfort this woman?
“You knew this was going to happen didn’t you? That’s why you stayed tucked up in your big house.”
“Joanne, I tried to tell you when I saw you out on the street. All the warnings had said to stay inside for-”
“You knew we were all going to die and you did nothing,” she interrupted. Spitting the words at me like a vicious cat. She lunged at me again. This time her fist connected with the side of my face causing me to stumble back towards the garage. The dog barked from inside. I was stupid for locking him in there. He’d already been caged up for so long, and he would have been pretty useful about now.
Gathering myself up I stood tall and looked at the broken woman across from me. I had never been a fighter. I certainly didn’t relish the idea of hitting someone who was already in a great deal of pain. Something my mum had said to me when I was small popped into my head:
“If someone hits you, Lizzy, then you hit ‘em back twice as hard.” It was something I had never done. I had always been proud of that.
Looking Joanne in the eye, I turned on my heels and started to walk calmly back towards the side of the house. I hadn’t walked more than three steps when I heard a feral scream escape from Joanne’s lips. I tried to turn, but it was too late.
My hair was snatched up by her furious fingers. With deadly violence, she dragged it down towards the floor. As the back of my skull connected with the concrete of my driveway, the last thing I remember thinking to myself, grimly, was that my mother had been right.
9
A LARGE DROP of rain bounced off my forehead. The sound of a dog barking in the distance brought my attention back from unconsciousness. I lay sprawled out on the cold, grey concrete. My eyes opened. Why am I lying on the ground outside my house? For a moment, I thought that I was back in the supermarket car park about to be killed. But then, the barking. I scrunched up my brow and delicately cradled my head. The dog is in my garage. It came back to me. Joanne. Fuck. Her kids.
Moving my hand around to check my face, I could see that the ground was covered in blood. The sight of it gave me a shock and jolted me back to reality. Rosa. I felt my back pocket and relief soared through me. The house keys were still there. Joanne hadn’t gone into the house. Unless she’s broken in.
Unsure of how long I had spent lying there, I got to my feet and started in the direction of the back door. I was soaked, the rain had gone through my clothes and felt like it was now seeping into my skin. It took all of my energy just to get the key in the lock of the back door. I struggled to keep my balance. Waves of dizziness kept washing over me. That blood on the drive must have been mine, I had fallen back. No, I had been pulled back and hit my head. With one hand on the door and the other reaching up to touch the back of my head I found a sticky mass of hair, which would also explain the thumping pain.
“Crazy bitch!” She had just left me on the ground. I could be dead.
Once inside I locked the door behind me and stumbled into the utility room. Before going on into the house, I stuck my head in the doorway at the back of the garage. The dog had been lying at the shutters nose to the floor, got up and bounded over to me. Tail wagging and tongue out.
“Hey buddy! Ok let me sort myself out and then I will come and see you. Good boy.” Patting him on the head, I was relieved to see that on the floor by the doors were the supplies I had brought inside on my arrival, untouched. The relief I had felt was quickly dashed away when I realised that I couldn’t hear anything coming from the house. The crying I had expected didn’t happen. Shit!
I made my way through the utility room and down the hall into the kitchen. She had to be awake. Why wasn’t she crying? It must have been mid-morning by now. I swung open the door to the pantry where I had left her sleeping in her fabric prison.