He walked back to his cabin. The asteroid was to impact North America tomorrow.
It was late the next day, and Sam had managed to ignore his hunger and remain in his room. The idea of looking at another person filled him with dread, so Sam didn’t reply when there was a knock on his door.
There was a pause, and the knock was replaced by a pounding that felt like it shook the room. “Sam, everyone on deck. Captain’s orders. Asteroid hits in a few hours.”
“No thanks,” Sam replied, not leaving his bunk.
“This isn’t a request. Topside in five minutes or the captain will have me come down to drag you up.”
Sam considered refusing, but the captain seemed like the type to actually send someone down to get him, so he rolled out of bed and made his way up to the deck. Everyone was gathered on the small observation area that extended over the back of the ship. He was the last to arrive, and the captain was already talking. He looked over at Sam. “Hey, slacker, I was just saying the rock hits in about four hours. If you want to watch, this is probably the best spot.” Sam nodded.
The passengers were all milling about in front of the captain, who stood at the top of a short set of stairs facing the rear of the boat, his arms behind his back. The crew were off to the sides, observing from a distance. Sam turned away and gazed out toward the setting sun.
And there it was. The middle of the day, and he could see the asteroid clearly in the sky. He caught his breath and focused on the water, the giant propellers churning the sea into a violent froth that trailed off behind the ship.
“I said turn around!” Sam finally noticed the captain’s raised voice. He turned and kept his head down.
“I’m sorry. I was listening,” Sam replied.
There were footsteps and the captain stood in front of Sam. “Look at me. I don’t think you appreciate the gravity of what we’re facing here.”
“I think I know better than most.” Sam stared at the deck.
“Are you mocking me?” The captain reached out and pushed Sam’s head up so that he had to look him in the face. “You think you know what it’s like to face death?”
Sam squeezed his eyes tight and prayed that the captain would still be there when he opened them.
He wasn’t.
Or was he?
They were all one.
“You sound like you’re sorry, but do you know what it’s like to face death?” He wasn’t old, but he looked like he had lived a hard life. His skin was tan and dry. His hair was a very dark brown, fine, and straight. It was cut short and parted on the left. He frowned, and Sam thought that he looked like a hick policeman, the kind of guy who liked to pull people over even if they weren’t speeding just to ruin their day.
He slammed his fist on Sam’s desk. “Do you?”
“No, sir, I’m afraid I don’t, and I can’t fathom how hard this is for you.” The man pointed at the computer.
“Change it.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Sam had seen enough people lose the lottery by then that he knew he didn’t have to hit the panic button yet. Maybe he could get the man to calm down.
“Can’t or won’t?” The man leaned forward. There wasn’t sadness or even desperation in his eyes. Just anger.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m just a Counselor. I can’t make any changes at all.” The man didn’t move. “Perhaps you should talk to the Grief Counselor. They’re just down the hall.” Sam stood up.
The man stood up, too. “I can’t fathom how you can just sit there and lie to me like this—” He looked down at the nameplate on the desk. “—Sam.”
“I’m not—” Before Sam could finish, the man leaned across his desk and grabbed him. Sam pressed the panic button over and over again as the man maneuvered around the desk, pulled Sam away from his chair, and slammed him against the wall. “Please—” His words were interrupted by an explosion of pain as the man’s fist connected with Sam’s cheek. Sam flung his arms up to block any more blows. None came. The man pulled Sam from the wall and pushed him toward the computer as the door flew open.
“Change it now, or I’ll kill you!” The man screamed. The guard, a new one from the Army named Phil, wasted no time and slammed a baton across the back of the man’s head. He fell onto the desk, and Sam scrambled backward against the wall. Phil pulled out his gun and shot the man three times in the back.
Phil spoke while Sam watched the man slide toward the floor off his desk. “Dammit, Sam, you need to be quicker on the trigger.” The man had rolled onto his side, his eyes staring at Sam. “You have the button for a reason, you know. You can’t try to calm everyone down.”
The captain’s mouth—wait, not the captain; did it matter?—opened a bit, and a bloody bubble formed. Sam couldn’t tell when the man had died. All he could focus on were his eyes, which hadn’t closed. The anger and desperation in those eyes were gone now, replaced by an emptiness. Not peace or acceptance: Emptiness.
“C’mon, Sam. Let’s get you fixed up.” Sam felt his cheek. He was bleeding.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be okay.”
“Not if you’re leaning over the railing when the waves hit.” Sam opened his eyes, and the Expatriation Office was gone. Phil was gone. The man was gone. Part of Sam’s soul was gone. The captain tapped Sam on the forehead. “Are you with me, loner? Stop daydreaming and think! This is your life we’re talking about.” He looked over at everyone else. “I want everyone below decks fifteen minutes after the asteroid show ends. A ship this size has little to worry about, but I don’t want to take any chances. You hear me? The waves may get nasty. So stay below decks until I give the all clear.”
As the others asked more questions, Sam made his way down to his cabin. He didn’t want to see the asteroid impact, and he didn’t want to see any more faces.
Sam dreamed of the asteroid hitting North America as if he were watching a movie. The blast wave and impact spread fire across North Dakota and rolled across the United States. He flew backward and watched the wave obliterate buildings, cities, mountains. He felt detached from the horror. He was high up in the sky and couldn’t see any people dying. It wasn’t until he was watching the shockwave clear forests in Arkansas that he realized that it was catching up to him. He looked left, looked right, and tried to guide the dream to have him fly faster. But it didn’t matter: The wave of force and flames closed in. He could feel the heat. He felt the edge of the power of the asteroid. The force pressed against the bottom of his shoes. He started to panic. He looked down at the charred and ruined landscape behind the line of the spreading force of the asteroid. He closed his eyes as his feet began to shake.
And he was tumbling violently, rolling over and over as the asteroid took him. Sam opened his eyes.
He had been thrown across his room in his sleep, and as he got his bearings, the room tilted in the other direction, causing him to roll back across the floor. His head hit the wall, but he was able to reach out and grab one of the bunk’s metal supports, which were welded to the floor. The ship seemed to stop rolling just as the squeal of twisting metal accompanied the entire room shaking.
As if toying with him, the room tilted in an entirely new direction, sliding Sam toward the wall opposite the door. Scrambling to his feet, Sam pulled himself toward the door as the deep moan of straining metal reverberated through the metal bones of the ship. The end of the room dropped, and Sam grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. Emergency lights flickered in the hall, and iridescent water flowed down the stairs that led to the deck. The smell of oil was overwhelming.