“And what if we’ve already activated the machine once? What if we’ve relived this very moment a thousand times before? Does that make you any less eager to see what the next moment will bring?”
Werner contemplated for a second. He smiled. “I suppose not. Damn these hypothetical questions! We should have never built this cursed thing.”
“You already said that.” Heinrich laughed. “Perhaps we are running in a loop. What do you think we’re destined to do next?”
“I think destiny dictates that we call it a day, head to the tavern, and get completely and utterly smashed.”
Heinrich smiled and nodded. “I can see a pattern forming already.”
John followed them through the park, keeping his distance. There were three of them; a tall man with red hair, a little girl, and Kara. They all smiled and laughed together. It drove John mad seeing Kara looking so happy about all of it, seeing the joy she once felt from him coming from some other man.
Everything had failed, time and time again. He had tried to show her that they were soul mates, tried fruitlessly to recreate the circumstances of their first encounter, reliving all of the agonizing years before their meeting. He had tried taking shortcuts, forcing their meeting long before it was supposed to happen. Hardest of all, he had tried to forget. He realized that the problem was him. He wasn’t the man she fell in love with. He was a shadow of himself; an empty silhouette of the man he used to be.
Every little change held repercussions; everything had to be the exact same. It was impossible. But he kept trying to win her over. He had to, as much as it hurt him. All he had was time. It was this or nothing.
Kara and the redheaded man exchanged words and a long kiss, and then he departed, leaving Kara alone with the girl. Now was John’s chance. He approached her.
“Lovely day today, isn’t it?” John asked.
She nodded dismissively. “Yep.”
“Great day for a walk.”
“Mmmhmm,” was her agreement. John stared at Kara, but she avoided eye contact. Speak to me, Kara. Look at me, please. At least give me that. She kept looking away.
The little girl looked up at John and smiled. “Hi!” she said.
He stared at the little girl. She had green eyes and curly red hair. He hated her. “Hello. What’s your name?”
Kara quickly intervened. “Elena, honey, I told you. No talking to strangers.”
John’s eyes flared open. “Elena!” He shouted. “Elena? It wasn’t enough to give a child to another man, you had to steal our daughter’s name too?”
Kara backed away in a panic. She pulled the girl close to her. ”Leave us alone, please.”
“Talk to me, Kara! Treat me with something other than hate and disgust!”
“Why do you know my name?”
“Your maiden name is Vanhemert. You like classical music. You’re a Libra. I’m your soul mate. I know everything about you.”
“Please, just leave us alone!”
“I made a vow; until death do us part. I mean to keep that vow, Kara.”
“Get away from me!” she screamed.
“If only you knew!” John yelled. “If only you knew what I’ve put myself through for you!”
Heinrich was sitting at the bar, looking into his nearly empty glass of beer and wondering if he should order another. He wondered if it was his fate. A good enough excuse. He signaled the bartender and pointed to his glass.
While waiting for his drink, he wondered what the future would bring and what part he’d have in it. Wondered if the device was a blessing, or a curse. He turned to Werner. He was reading a newspaper, his eyes skimming forward and darting back as he read each line.
“About this time restoration instrument we’ve made,” Werner said.
“What about it?” Heinrich responded with feigned disinterest, as if he wasn’t spending every waking moment thinking about it himself.
“Well, what if it works?”
Heinrich paused. “Then we go back and relive our lives in blissful ignorance.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. If there ever comes a time, god forbid, that we actually have to use it… I mean, what’s to say we haven’t reset once already?”
“Nothing, I suppose. Why worry? Nothing to be done about it. There’s no way to alter the future without knowing what the future is first.”
There was another moment’s silence. “What if someone did know the future? What if someone could remember?”
The bartender brought Heinrich’s beer over. Heinrich narrowed his eyes at Werner. “How exactly?”
“I don’t know how. But what if they could?”
Irritated, Heinrich shook his head. “Why does it matter, Emil?”
Werner lowered his newspaper on the bar and slid it over so that Heinrich could read the page:
Eccentric psychic Johnathan Gibbs has been making astounding predictions, and warning his followers, “The end is near.”
He looked up at Werner with his eyebrows elevated. “Tell me you don’t believe this foolishness.”
“Read on,” Werner told him.
Heinrich drank while his eyes darted back and forth over the page, taking it all in: Celebrity fatalities predicted in exact detail. Natural disasters pinpointed to the minute. Gibbs was even claiming that he was from the future. Astounding, if any of it were true. It likely wasn’t.
“Well? Tell me you don’t find that somewhat concerning.”
”Don’t believe everything you read,” Heinrich said with a note of uncertainty.
“It might be worth finding this man,” Werner said. “Imagine what wealth of knowledge he could possess if he truly does know the future. If he’s seen the apocalypse, he could help us prevent it.”
The intense look in his eyes suggested that Werner was quite serious about seeking this man out. It left Heinrich feeling very unsettled; this Gibbs fellow was either brimming with lies or worse, the terrifying truth. Heinrich didn’t want to hear either one.
He looked down at his beer, surprised to see that it was nearly empty again. He wondered when he’d finally drink enough to drown his worries. Maybe never, but it was worth trying. He signaled the bartender and pointed to his glass.
July 8th, 2022
John remembered this day, so vaguely that he thought maybe he had imagined it. He had been a very different man in a different place then, but the event was the same; a gigantic object hurdled through the sky, impossibly dark and completely unnatural. Its shadow passed over the Earth as it seemed to speed toward the sun. Immense darkness, only a sliver of sunlight peeking out around its edge. And then it happened; for just a brief moment, a flash of fire illuminated everything. Flames burst out around the object, engulfing it as if the sun had exploded. It was beautiful.
The first time he saw it had been long ago. He was with Kara and the children, and he had told them that he loved them. That was the last time they had all been together, the last time he’d been a father and husband. The last time he had been whole.
We’ll always be together. Even in the hereafter.
June 16th, 2012
John’s eyelids snapped open. Bright spots were still dancing over his eyes, the memory of the event burned into his brain. It was real. Something had actually crashed into the sun. John was back in bed in his old apartment, except he hadn’t died. He was sure of it. He had been pulled back too soon.
Why do I remember?
He had asked himself that question a million times, never getting any closer to an answer. But this had been no coincidence. Something or someone was doing this, turning back the clock to avoid disaster. It was time to find out why this was happening. No matter how long it took, he would find the cause. It was his only way out.