I wanted to save her and I wanted to save myself and I wanted to save all the Eldren in Loos Ptokai, for I wanted to stay with Ermizhad for ever. I did not want to be destroyed.
Desperately I tried to think of ways in which we could defeat that great force, but every plan I made was a wild one and could not work.
And then, one day, I remembered.
I remembered a conversation I had had with Arjavh on the plateau after he had defeated me in battle.
I went looking for him and found him in his study. He was reading.
'Erekose? Are they beginning their attack?'
'No, Arjavh. But I remember you told me once about some ancient weapons your race once had-that you still have.'
'What…?'
'The old terrible weapons,' I said. 'The ones you swore never to use again because they could destroy so much!'
He shook his head. 'Not those…'
'Use them this once, Arjavh,' I begged him. 'Make a show of strength, that is all. They will be ready to discuss peace, then.'
He closed his book. 'No. They will never discuss peace with us. They would rather die. Anyway, I do not think that even this situation merits the breaking of that old vow.'
'Arjavh,' I said, 'I respect the reasons for refusing to use the weapons. But I have grown to love the Eldren. I have already broken one vow. Let me break another-for you.'
He still shook his head.
'Just agree to this, then,' I said. 'If the time comes when I feel we could use them, will you let me decide-take the decision out of your hands. Make it my responsibility.'
He looked searchingly at me. The orbless eyes seemed to pierce me.
'Perhaps,' he said.
'Arjavh-will you?'
'We Eldren have never been motivated by the same amount of self-interest such as you humans have-not to the extent of destroying another race, Erekose. Do not confuse our values with those of mankind.'
'I am not,' I replied. 'That is my reason for asking you this. I could not bear to see your noble race perish at the hands of such beasts as those beyond our walls!'
Arjavh stood up and replaced the book in the shelves. 'lolinda spoke the truth,' he said quietly. 'You are a traitor to your own race.'
'Race is a meaningless term. It was you and Ermizhad who told me to be an individual. I have chosen my loyalties.'
He pursed his lips. 'Well…'
'I seek only to stop them continuing in their folly,' I said.
He clenched his thin, pale hands together.
'Arjavh. I ask you because of the love I have for Ermizhad and the love she has for me. Because of the great friendship you have given me. For all the Eldren left alive, I beg you to let me take the decision if it becomes necessary.'
'For Ermizhad?' he raised his slanting eyebrows. 'For you? For me? For my people? Not for revenge?'
'No' I said quietly. 'I do not think so.'
'Very well. I leave the decision to you. I suppose that is fair. I do not want to die. But remember-do not act as unwisely as others of your kind.'
'I will not,' I promised.
I think I kept my promise.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
THE ATTACK
And the days continued to pass until they began to get chill and it was plain that winter was coming. If winter arrived, we would be safe until spring, for the invaders would be fools to attempt a heavy siege in winter.
They realised this too, it seemed. lolinda must have come to a decision. She gave them permission to attack Loos Ptokai.
After much bickering among themselves, I learned, the marshals elected one of themselves, the most experienced, to act as their War Champion.
They elected Count Roldero.
The siege commenced in earnest.
Their massive siege engines were brought forward, including the giant cannon known as the Firedrakes. Great black things of iron, decorated with fierce reliefs.
Roldero rode up and his herald announced his presence and I went to speak with him from the battlements.
'Greetings, Erekose the Traitor!' he called. 'We have decided to punish you-and all the Eldren within these walls. We would have slaughtered the Eldren cleanly, but now we intend to put to slow death all those we capture.'
I was saddened.
'Roldero, Roldero,' I begged. 'We were friends once. You were perhaps the only true friend I had. We drank together and fought together, made jokes together. We were comrades, Roldero. Good comrades.'
His horse fidgeted beneath him, pawing at the earth.
'That was an age ago,' he said without looking up at me. 'An age ago.'
'Little more than a year, Roldero…'
'But we are not those two friends any longer, Erekose.' He looked up, shielding his eyes with a gauntletted hand. I saw that his face had grown old and it bore many new scars. Doubtless I looked as different in my own way. 'We are different men,' Roldero said, and wrenching at his reins drove his horse away, digging his long spurs savagely into its flanks.
Now there was nothing we could do but fight.
The Firedrakes boomed and their solid shot slammed against the walls. Blazing fireballs from captured Eldren artillery screamed over the walls and into the streets. These were followed by thousands of arrows that came in a black shower.
And then a million men rushed against our handful of defenders.
We replied with what cannon we had, but we relied mainly on archers to meet that first wave, for we were short of shot.
And we repelled them, after ten hours of fighting. They fell back.
Then, next day and the day after, they continued to attack. But Loos Ptokai, the ancient capital of Mernadin, Loos Ptokai held firm during those first days.
Battalion upon battalion of yelling warriors mounted the siege towers and we again replied with arrows, with molten metal and, economically, with the fire-spewing cannon of the Eldren. We fought bravely, Arjavh and I leading the defenders and, whenever they sighted me, the warriors of Humanity screamed for vengeance and died striving for the privilege of slaying me.
We fought side by side, like brothers, Arjavh and I, but our Eldren warriors were tiring and, after a week of constant barrage, we began to realise that we could not much longer hold back that tide of steel.
That night we sat together after Ermizhad had gone to bed. We massaged our aching muscles and we spoke little.
Then I said: 'We shall all be dead soon, Arjavh. You and I. Ermizhad. The rest of your folk.'
He continued to dig his fingers into his shoulder, kneading it to loosen it. 'Yes,' he said. 'Soon.'
I wanted him to raise the subject that was on the tip of my tongue, but he would not.
The next day, scenting our defeat, the warriors of Humanity came at us with greater vigour than ever. The Firedrakes were brought in closer and began steadily to bombard the main gates.
I saw Roldero, mounted on his great black horse, directing the operation and there was something about his stance that made me realise that he was sure he would break our defences that
I turned to Arjavh who stood beside me on the wall and I was about to speak when several of the Firedrakes boomed in unison. The black metal shook, the shot screamed from their snouts, hit the main gates, which were of metal and split the left one down the middle. It did not fall, but it was so badly weakened that one more cannonade would bring it completely down.
'Arjavh!' I yelled. 'We must break out the old weapons. We must arm the Eldren!'
His face was pale, but he shook his head.
'Arjavh! We must! Another hour and we'll be driven off these battlements! Another three and we'll be overwhelmed entirely!' He looked to where Roldero was directing the cannoneers and this time he did not remonstrate. He nodded. 'Very well. I agreed that you would decide. Come.'