“I’m not. I’ve forgotten and told Aeryana and Nicole things I’ve said twice before. They look at me as if I were crazy.”
“Artists can… repeat themselves… Scientists… should not.” Her eyes closed once more. “Very… unprofessional…”
She seemed to doze, or sleep, and a half smile crossed her lips. I could see that she once had to have been a stunningly beautiful woman.
After a time, a good half stan, if not longer, she bolted up halfway, and her eyes darted to the portrait. “Who’s… that old woman?” She sank back onto the pillows. Her eyes remained on the canvas, searching to identify who the woman was.
“Someone I know. She’s a good person.” What else could I say?
“Oh…” Her eyes cleared. “I feel… so stupid… Please go… Chendor.”
I patted the back of her hand. “Would you like anything?”
“You’re… humoring… me.”
“A little. We all need humoring sometimes. Can I get you something to drink?”
“No… there’s nothing… I need.”
I thought she’d drifted off again, but her fingers, those fingers that had been so active, grasped my wrist. “Chendor… please go… now.”
“No. I’m staying. You don’t have to talk, and I won’t.” I leaned forward and took her hand. It was cool, not cold.
“Give the rest of the tea… Liam Fitzhugh… He’ll appreciate it… especially… bergamot. He… has… high standards.”
“I will,” I promised.
After a time, she closed her eyes once more.
Before long, her hand was cold. I still sat there for a long time, until after the medtech came.
77
Chang
Much as I wanted to, some ways, Liam and I didn’t make love… not beyond holding each other. Didn’t want sex out of relief, just because I’d survived. He just held me for a long time. Held him, too.
We both knew we wanted more. Still not sure how to get there. Could be we were both afraid that sex would be a disappointment.
We slept some, but D.S.S. bunks are too frigging narrow.
When we got up, I did have to explain to Liam what Morgan had done. Whatever the Danannians had left behind distinguished between hostile and nonhostile by use of weapons. Bet that when the Norfolk had fired a torp at the surface, that triggered the defenses. Morgan had made sure that the Covenanters would fire weapons. Don’t think even he’d realized the extent of the defenses. Wasn’t sure anyone would have.
We’d lost the Alwyn. Covenanters had lost a fleet, something like fifteen ships, and the CWs had lost a flotilla of five ships. Bet the Comity and D.S.S. would be happy with that. Wondered if anyone really cared about the technology or the artifact.
Anyway, Liam and I washed up—separately—and went to the evening meal in the mess. We sat with Lerrys and Lindskold. Chendor Barna joined us. He looked worse than I’d felt when I’d gotten out of the needle.
Liam saw it too, asked, “Chendor… is there anything we might help with?”
“No…”
“Anything at all?” I added.
He gave a sad smile. “Elysen… Dr. Taube… she died this afternoon.”
“Died? How did that happen?” asked Lindskold. “Not because of the ship…?”
“No. She was old… too old for anything to hold her together, but she’d wanted to come on the expedition. She was working on something. It was a big discovery. I imagine Dr. Lazar will announce it before too long.” He paused, then looked at Liam. “Oh… she brought tea, an enormous amount. She said to give it to you.”
“To me? I cannot imagine why…”
“She had her reasons. She always did.”
“I’m sorry, Chendor,” I added. He needed consoling, not questions. “She seemed… special.”
“I think we would have been friends for a long time. It’s hard to lose friends. There aren’t that many.”
Reached out under the table and took Liam’s hand. He squeezed back, and smiled at me.
“No, there aren’t,” Lindskold agreed. “We’ve all lost someone today.”
Swallowed as I thought of Tuala. He’d gone out, enthusiastic. Hadn’t come back. The Magellan had lost five needle pilots and Braun. That didn’t count the Alwyn. Still wasn’t certain what we’d gotten from it. One artifact and a bunch of samples, and probably lots of images.
“A battle in the middle of nowhere.” Lindskold looked to Liam. “Are we all that desperate?”
Desperate? Wouldn’t have called going out and picking fights desperate, not the way the Sunnis, the CWs, and the Covenanters had. Stupid, maybe greedy. But desperate?
“That is a definite and distinct possibility,” Liam began, clearing his throat in his professorial manner.
Almost broke into a grin, but wanted to hear what he had to say.
“There have been no new or significant substantive advances in technology or the underlying sciences in close to a millennium, even longer than that so far as the basics of understanding the universe might be considered. For the fundamentalist cultures, those of the theistic believers, particularly those such as the Sunnis and the Covenanters, this scientific status quo has been not only acceptable, but desirable, insomuch as it has reinforced both established religious doctrine, theocratic practices, and the subconscious belief that the scope of knowledge available to and understandable by human beings is limited and finite…”
I had to admit I hadn’t thought of that.
“… and that greater knowledge is the providence of the deity, whoever and whatever that deity might be. Even the possibility that greater knowledge is potentially available disrupts cultural, political, and social norms— as it has in the past throughout history. The theistic cultures must either obtain or stifle such knowledge. If they obtain it, then it was vouchsafed to them by the deity, and if it is suppressed, it is as though it had never existed, and life and culture will continue as before. For the nontheis-tic cultures, knowledge is the basis of power, and the ‘lightness’ of their cultures is proven by success and survival, which is, in turn, determined by comparative advantage over other cultures, and that advantage is, of course, provided by the first and most successful application of new knowledge. Thus, the culture that can obtain and apply such knowledge first attains an advantage over all others. The Comity was and remains in a position to do so, and since it is already first among equals, so to speak, additional advanced knowledge and technology would place the leaders of other polities in a position of extreme desperation, as suggested by Lieutenant Lind-skold.” Liam nodded to her, took a sip of water.
“Then, things will get worse, not better,” I pointed out.
“Most probably.”
“You’re so cheerful, Liam,” Chendor said.
“I am sorry, especially at the moment, but I do fear that great instability awaits us.”
Things were depressing enough, without that.
“Did you get any good paintings from Danann?” Lerrys asked Chendor.
“Good? Only time will tell that. I do have quite a number…” He looked almost embarrassed to speak about his paintings.
“Tell us, if you would,” I pressed.
“I just painted what I saw. I had to enhance the light, of course…”
All of us were happier letting Chendor talk about painting. Even Liam.
78
Goodman/Bond
Once the blackness hit me, I hadn’t thought, or felt anything.