‘Because when we approach it like this,’ Merrily said, ‘in this context, it’s coming out of prayer and it’s an act of faith. Shirley, if you could bear with me …’
‘It’s just that, in the dark, with a ring of candles, it doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t like opening myself up. How do we know there isn’t somebody here who’s brought something evil in with them?’
This time, when Merrily looked up, Lol was shocked at the pallor of her face.
19
Sound Like Jane
WHEN IT WAS over, Merrily held the snuffer over the last candle and then guided Lol through the darkness towards the south door.
‘Didn’t handle that too well, did I?’
Moving them both swiftly down the nave. She could find her way blindfold around this sandstone cavern – had even actually done that once, when she was new here; it had seemed necessary, having an intimate, tactile knowledge of the body of the church, her own sacred space, to which it had seemed desperately important tonight to get back.
Bad mistake. She felt sick. Better she hadn’t made it in time than have to watch the so-called ground-breaking meditation service crumbling away into a pointless debate about the validity of replacing the traditional Evensong, hymns and all, with quiet and contemplation. More like a bloody parish meeting.
‘I wouldn’t care, Shirley doesn’t normally come on a Sunday night. I mean, if she prefers the formality of a structured service, well, fine …’
‘Who is she?’
‘Shirley? I think I mentioned her. Currently my most enthusiastic parishioner.’
‘Oh. Yes, you did.’
Lol bumped into the prayer-book rack; there was the slap of a book landing on flags.
‘Leave it, I’ll find it in the morning. Why are we talking in the dark? How did the gig go? Oh hell, I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten where …’
‘Newtown. Theatr Hafren. It was good. Almost full. The local record shop was selling albums in the foyer. They sold out.’
‘That’s fantastic. Come back to the vic? Have some supper with us?’
Lol didn’t move. She could see his outline, head bowed.
He said, ‘When she said that about … someone bringing evil into the church …’
‘Lol …’ God, what was she supposed to say? ‘Look, this is uncharitable, but I sometimes think Shirley actually comes to too many services.’
‘You thought she meant you, didn’t you?’
Merrily’s fingers found the stone bowl of the font, pressing into its whorls and furrows.
‘You’ve been talking to Jane, right?’
‘Well, she came over just now. A bit worried. Told me about M. R. James and the woman who was saying she’d seen one of his ghosts. And the dovecote. And this Mrs Mornington …?’
‘Wood.’ Merrily straightened up. ‘Morningwood.’
‘And how you came out of the house, white-faced, and wouldn’t talk about it.’ Lol was standing next to her now. ‘Pretty much the way you’re not talking about it now.’
Merrily leaned against the firmness of the font. She looked back along the nave, vaguely moonlit now. Like a straight path through woodland.
But there was no green man at Ledwardine.
‘All right. I may have … I saw something that wasn’t supposed to be there.’
‘Inside the house? The Duchy of Cornwall house.’
‘It just looked ordinary. It felt ordinary. Until I decided, for some reason, to have a look inside the inglenook. It’s quite a high inglenook. Someone like me can stand upright in it, and quite a lot of space all round. Like a small, black room.’
Her mind was already tightening. She’d hoped it might melt away in the meditation. But the meditation had never happened, and maybe that was just as well. Maybe she had brought something back and if they’d gone into the meditation it would’ve been contaminated. Maybe Shirley— Oh, for God’s sake …
‘Go on.’ Merrily felt Lol’s hand on her arm. ‘The small black room behind the inglenook.’
‘There was a feeling of not being alone. I’m not talking about God or anything.’
‘You’re saying you actually felt something was with you inside this inglenook?’
‘Something watching me. It’s all a bit subjective. A feeling I’d been getting at Garway generally. It has a very peculiar atmosphere, I can’t explain it. Even the church seems to have eyes. Ancient landmark, sentient landscape … Oh God, listen to me, I’m starting to sound like Jane.’
Lol was silent. There were cooling clangs from the heating, which had switched itself off.
‘You know the green man?’ Merrily said. ‘Like you get in country churches? Stone face looking through foliage?’
‘Mouthful of leaves and stuff.’
‘Maybe an ancient fertility symbol. Several in Herefordshire. The one in Garway Church is moulded into the chancel arch, and … there’s also this one inside the oak lintel over the fireplace in the Master House. Almost identical, I’d guess, but I’d need to check. I just looked up, there it was.’
‘That’s what you thought was watching you?’
‘At the back, so only visible from inside the inglenook. You don’t see him unless you enter his …’
‘A secret green man.’
‘And not in a church. I don’t know of any ancient ones that aren’t in churches, though maybe there are. And hidden away. Why?’
‘This green man is what scared you? Why you’d turned white?’
‘I haven’t been feeling too great lately.’ She pulled away from the font, couldn’t deal with this now. ‘Let’s go.’
Outside, a wind had arisen, chattering amongst dead chrysanths in a grave-pot. Merrily pulled the church keys from her shoulder bag. The Master House key poked out, and she thrust it back.
Lol said, ‘You now think something actually happened to this Fuchsia at the house?’
‘I’d convinced myself she was pulling some kind of scam. The face of crushed linen, all that. I was coming round to thinking there was some entirely prosaic reason for Felix changing his mind, wanting out of the job. I was ready to confront her about it.’
‘So what are you going to do now?’
‘Confront her. But maybe with a bit more … sensitivity. That is, I still think there’s a lot she hasn’t told me, but I’m no longer ruling out the possibility of something else.’
‘What are you going to tell Jane?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You sure you’ve told me everything?’
‘Lol, I’m going to ring them now, OK?’
Fumbling out the phone and putting the number in the frame.
They stood under the lych-gate, opposite the square, orange and green lights making lanterns of the leaded windows of the Black Swan.
Lol said, ‘Why don’t you call them in the morning?’
‘They might leave early.’ The ringing stopped. ‘Hold on, he’s—’
The voice in the phone said hello.
‘Felix,’ Merrily said. ‘I’ve been trying to get you all day. Listen, I really need to talk to you. Both of you. Tomorrow morning if possible. Even tonight, if you’re up for that. Take me about twenty minutes to get there.’
There was no reply, something quizzical about the silence.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s Merrily Watkins.’
‘Yeh. I thought it was.’
Oh shit.
‘Frannie, I’m sorry, I must’ve put the wrong number in. More haste, less—’
‘Who did you think you were calling, Merrily?’
‘Just … just a guy I’ve been trying to …’
‘Felix, you said,’ Bliss said. ‘That would be Felix Barlow.’