Rynn was only aware of it because I'd told him. But he didn't know what to do, either. Jai was too smart to fall for false compliments or feigned encouragement. Rynn was too honest to give them. Jai couldn't deny that his truest desire was to be an inventor, not a warrior. Rynn couldn't deny that his son – the only child we would ever have – didn't match the image of manhood that he'd dreamed of. Between the two of them, they were at a stalemate.
Jai took a breath to speak, but he was interrupted by a frantic rapping at the door.
'It's Liss,' he said. Rynn groaned.
I got up, knowing that Jai had guessed right. The second barrage of hammering proved it. Nobody else ever assaulted our door with that kind of agitation.
'What's that woman want now?' Rynn said.
I cast him a sharp look. Don't disrespect our masters in front of our son. He fell to his plate again, grumbling. 'More trouble than it's worth knowing those two,' he muttered around a mouthful of omelette. He'd long forgotten that the only reason we had a son at all was because of the twins.
I opened the door and Liss threw herself into my arms, wailing. She was in a particularly flamboyant fashion phase, her thin frame swathed in layers of bright colours and her hair dyed green and orange. Thick red and yellow makeup had run down her cheeks.
'Hello, Liss,' Rynn said, deadpan, as if her melodramatic entrance was the most normal thing in the world. Jai suppressed a laugh.
Liss threw him a haughty look, sniffed, and wiped her eyes, smearing her makeup further. 'Let's go elsewhere,' she hissed. 'I have a deadly and terrible secret!'
I was worried about her, a little; but this last line, delivered with absolute seriousness, almost made me crack up. I turned it into a cough instead. She was so ridiculous sometimes, it was easy to forget how dangerous it was to offend her.
I didn't need to ask where Casta was. Liss was only ever seen alone when Casta disappeared on one of her periodic absences. The abandoned twin was more than usually woeful and lachrymose during those times, but she was doubly excitable when Casta returned.
'We're having breakfast,' I told her, though the protest had little force. As a Bondswoman, I was at her beck and call. I was just hoping she'd understand and put her own crises aside for a moment.
She didn't. 'Never mind them. Come on! There are lives at stake!' She took my hand and tugged me towards the corridor outside.
'I'll see you when I get back, then,' Rynn said. Cold.
I was suddenly angry at him. What right did he have to take that tone? As if I was responsible for Liss's shitty timing. As if I had ruined things.
But I knew what he was thinking. He disapproved of my friendship with the twins. He thought I should have made an effort to distance myself from them. And this was the result. Hence, my fault.
I didn't trouble to reply. I'd only have said something snappy. It hurt me to leave this way. We were both passionate people, and that meant we had our arguments; but we always resolved them before we went to bed. Now I would be replaying that last comment over and over the whole time we were apart, constructing arguments, imagining what I'd say when we next met. I should have just been able to forget it, but I never could. I hated the idea that he'd scored a point on me without giving me the chance to defend myself.
And what was worse, I hated the idea that he might die with this faint thread of poison hanging between us. If he was to die, I wanted it to be with the absolute certainty that I loved him.
I followed Liss out into the corridor, glaring at her back. The good mood I had woken up with had soured. I felt a failure as a mother and as a wife.
This had better be good, Liss.
I tried to ask her what was wrong, hoping to get it over with quickly so I could get back to my family. She hushed me. 'Too many ears and eyes,' she said, and wouldn't be drawn further.
She took me high up into the Mansions, to her chambers, blind to my obvious impatience. The twins' rooms were embarrassingly opulent but messy, an uneasy fusion of Liss's extravagance and Casta's more restrained personality. She led me by the hand past the door guards, through the reception rooms with their gaudy curtains and pools stocked with bright fish and eels, into the bedroom where the twins slept.
The enormous bed was in disarray, and Liss's clothes were draped over any place that would serve as a hook or a hanger. Casta's influence was evident in the carefully organised ornamental figurines that populated the bedside table and window sills. Shinestone lamps of coloured glass gave the place a cosy ambience, although there was still a faintly creepy tinge to the room. Something to do with the idea of the two of them sleeping together.
Liss threw herself down on the bed and I perched next to her. 'So tell me,' I said. I could still catch Rynn outside the Mansions if Liss's latest problem could be dealt with quickly.
She rolled onto her side and gazed at me hard. 'I received a letter,' she breathed.
'And?' I was annoyed, and it slipped into my tone.
'You're not listening to me!' she snapped, and then her head slumped down on the bed and she sulked. 'You don't care.'
I took a steadying breath, composed myself. Being thorny wouldn't help my cause. Better to just go with it. 'Forgive me,' I said. 'I didn't mean to be curt. I just have a lot on my mind.'
'You hate me,' Liss accused, lip trembling.
'No, I love you,' I said, stroking her hair. It was hard to stay mad when she looked so pathetic. 'We're friends, aren't we? Aren't I the one you come to when Casta's away?'
Liss sniffled and nodded. She was like a child: infuriating, selfish, but ultimately innocent. She didn't think about other people; it wasn't in her nature. She didn't know any better.
'Tell me what was in the letter.'
Suddenly animated, she flung herself upright and drew out the letter from inside her dress. She presented it to me proudly.
'I have a suitor!' she declared.
I blinked. This was the cause of the tears? She certainly didn't seem too sad about it now. I took the letter.
'Open it!' she said. 'It's from Thulia Iolo. He says he wishes the pleasure of my company at his mansion in the Rainlands!'
'Well, that's good,' I said, reading. I looked up. 'Isn't it?'
'Yes! He loves me, he loves me! And I love him!'
'You do? Have you met him?'
Liss waved that away. 'When two people are meant to be together, they just know.'
'He's certainly a rich man,' I mused. 'Good political match. I can't see Ledo objecting.' I managed a smile. 'I'm happy for you, Liss.'
Her face clouded with dread. 'Oh, but you don't know, you don't know. You don't know how Casta gets.'
'How does she get?'
'Murderous! Murderous angry!'
'She doesn't know?'
'No! No, no, no! How could I tell her?' She was pacing around the room now, agitated. She opened the door and peeked out in case Casta should be listening. Once certain that we couldn't be overheard, she became courageous. 'And why should I? She goes away and never tells me why, but what about me? If I want to go away, she forbids it! If I want to have a husband, she says she'll do terrible things! Just because she hasn't got a suitor. Who could love her?'
She cringed and then ran to me, clutching me for protection. She'd gone too far and was afraid that her sister would somehow know. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You know I didn't mean that, don't you?'
'I know you love your sister,' I reassured her. 'And she does, too.'
'Where does she go, when she goes away?'
'Perhaps she's looking after Clan business. After all, if something should happen to Ledo, she'll become Magnate.'
Liss snarled. 'She always acts the older sister. Older by a few minutes! That's all! If I'd come out first it would have been different!' Then she became maudlin. 'She doesn't keep any secrets from me. Not from me. Only this.'