I could see it in her eyes when she pushed me away. Every ounce of her hurt was written on her face.
Even if I had let myself forget who I was for those short few moments, she hadn’t. She knew exactly who I was, and I hated that she did. I was no good for her, and I had once convinced her otherwise. Now that I desperately wanted every part of her, she knew the truth.
She knew I was nothing more than the villain in her story. I was the guy she was supposed to hate.
And I had forced her too.
This was what I had wanted, but now everything felt wrong. I had made up my mind after the night at the pool that I wasn’t going to send out that video.
But I had let Lucas get into my head, and my hate for him proved to be more powerful than what I felt for her.
I looked down at my phone and read his text again.
Keep your Clermont trash away from my sister.
As if he actually cared about her. He only cared about getting back on his dad’s good side, and failing to protect Josie wouldn’t do that.
And he had failed to protect her. I wanted him to know that. I wanted to smear his face in the fact that his sister had wanted me, regardless of what he said. His sister had fallen for the person he hated most in this world.
I knew that couldn’t have tasted as bitter as knowing what he had done to Frankie. I had trusted him, but there wasn’t an ounce of trust between us now.
I still wanted him to feel it, though.
I wanted to cram it down his throat and make him choke on the fact that I had them both. Josie and Frankie. They were mine, and both were untouchable to him.
But I gave him full access to her.
The moment I sent him that video that I had already planned to destroy, I had put the power in his hands, and guys like Lucas didn’t waste power.
I thought he would have done anything to protect her, but I was an idiot.
Lucas didn’t care about anyone but himself, and he knew the damage that video would do.
He knew that everyone would think it was me, including her.
Of course, they did. Why would anyone think her fucking stepbrother would do such a thing? Most of them had heard about our history. Even as hush-hush as our fathers had tried to keep it, secrets didn’t last long in this town, and they had all expected something like this from me.
They had been waiting on my revenge, and no one questioned it.
No one faulted me for it.
No one except for her, her dad, my parents, and Frankie. God, Frankie.
She hated me for what I had done. Even if I wasn’t the one to post the video, I had given him the power to do so. I had given him the power to do something that was far too close to what he had done to Frankie.
I saw the way she looked at me now. She hated me almost as much as she hated him. She knew I was capable of being fucking vile, and I broke her heart.
She would have never allowed me to do something like this if she had known my plan. It was why I didn’t tell her.
I think deep down I knew that she would have never wanted me to waste another second on Lucas Vos. She was furious with me when I had beat the hell out of him after what he had done to her.
Even through everything, she still thought he was something that he never was. She didn’t want me to end our friendship over what happened. She didn’t want anyone to get in trouble over the stupid decisions that she had made.
Those were her words.
I had trusted that motherfucker to protect my sister at a stupid fucking party, and he took advantage of her. He took advantage of her, and she thought she was somehow to blame.
Still to this day, all she could see was her fault in what happened. It didn’t matter what anyone else said. Frankie was broken by what he did, what they did, and still, she blamed herself.
"You ready?" I looked over the hood of my car and watched her make her way outside.
I knew that Frankie was gorgeous. I was her brother, but I wasn’t an idiot.
But I hated the way any of these fuckers in this school looked at her. I didn’t want a single one of them to touch her. Especially after everything that
happened.
I had failed her as a brother, and I thought about it every single day. It ate at me when her smile no longer met her eyes.
"Yeah." She nodded before climbing into the passenger seat.
It had been a long time since she rode back and forth to school with me.
For a while there, she was far too cool to be seen with her older brother, but she hadn’t cared lately, and I wanted to keep her as close to me as I could get her.
I wanted her close to me and far away from Lucas.
He had used her enough for a lifetime, and I didn’t want her to be anywhere near him.
I knew that I couldn’t protect her from everything, but I felt like I had let her down so badly that I could never let anything happen to her again.
"I saw Josie was back at school today." She was staring at me as I pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yeah. I saw her too." I didn’t mention that I managed to get her sent to the headmaster’s office or that I kissed her against the lockers. Frankie didn’t need to know any of that.
"How did that go?" She sounded genuinely curious.
"Well, I think she hates me." I chuckled even though I didn’t find anything about this situation funny.
"Good."
"Good?" I balked at her response. "I don’t want her to hate me. I want her to forgive me."
"You may not want her to, but you deserve for her to. I’m glad she hasn’t forgiven you."
"You’re supposed to be on my side. You know that, right?"
"I am on your side." She nodded her head and typed into her phone. "But I’m also on the side that thinks you’ve been a complete asshole and need to grovel if you want her to forgive you."
"Do you forgive me?" I took my eyes off the road long enough to look at her.
"I’ll always forgive you, Beckham." She smiled and slipped her phone into her jacket pocket. "But I’d probably forgive you faster if you take me to the club for a hot fudge sundae."
I rolled my eyes and laughed. Frankie could be won over when it came to just about anything if you had sweets.
"We can do that."
We pulled up into the club, and I spotted Josie’s car right away. I hadn’t seen her since our encounter in the hallway, and that was probably what she wanted. She wanted nothing to do with me.
Even if she had a weak moment and let me kiss her, even if she had kissed me back, it didn’t mean anything. Not to her.
It had meant far too much to me.
Because I was desperate to do it again.
After the way things were left in my bedroom, I was desperate to touch every inch of her and prove that I wasn’t the guy she thought I was. It didn’t matter that I was. I was capable of being that guy and far worse, but I still wanted to prove her otherwise.
Because she had been looking at me like I was the devil, and even though that was once all I wanted, I would do anything to take it back now.
We climbed out of my SUV, and Frankie linked her arm with mine. We didn’t stop by my dad’s office as we made our way to the dining room. He was probably busy, and I wasn’t in the mood for another lecture.
"Let’s sit outside." The dining room was mostly empty during this time of day, but I knew Josie would be in there and she wouldn’t want to see me.
And I didn’t want to make things awkward for her at work.
Everything was already so fucked up at school.
Between her returning, the constant gossip of the fucking sheep in that school, and Lucas running his mouth about me, everything felt fucked up.
"Okay." We pushed through the dining room and took a seat at a table that was covered in what was left of the summer sun.
We were only out there a minute before Allie came out the door and smiled at us. I searched behind her to see if Josie was with her. I didn’t care if she thought I was desperate for her friend, because I was.