Decker knew this from experience.
With Zoe’s assistance, he carefully laid out the blanket on the ground next to the grave.
He helped her position the flowers at the head of the mound, and then they sat on the blanket.
Zoe was in her best dress and her hair was done in the pigtails that she had told him her father had loved.
Decker was dressed in the best clothes he had brought with him. They weren’t fancy, but they were freshly laundered and ironed.
Zoe looked at him anxiously. “Now what do I do?”
“You can talk to your dad.”
“What do I say?”
“What did you used to say to him?”
“I told him what I did at school and what Mom and I would do while he was at work. And about a book that I really liked.”
“Well, go ahead and do that. I’m sure he wants to hear all about it. You can catch him up on things.”
Zoe dropped her voice and looked anxiously around at the other graves. “Do I whisper? I don’t think you’re supposed to talk loud here.”
“That’s fine, Zoe. Your dad will be able to hear you no matter what.”
“And he’ll talk back to me?”
“Yes, just not in the way he used to. But just think about him in your head, and you’ll hear your dad. You just have to let it all come out. Okay?”
“Okay.”
She leaned close to the mound and started to quietly speak.
Decker patiently sat there while she did so. He looked around at some other people visiting the graves of loved ones.
Baronville had a lot of problems, just like other places, rural, suburban, and urban. But problems could be solved. And lives could be changed for the better.
It wasn’t impossible. If anything, Decker believed in the resilience of the human spirit.
I’m actually a living example of that.
Yet as he continued to look around, a bit of trepidation crept into Decker’s thoughts. Would he wake up tomorrow with his perfect memory gone? Would he no longer see colors where he used to? Even more troubling was the possibility that his mind, instead of increasing its abilities in certain ways, might begin to go the other way, leaving him with a diminished capacity.
He had spoken in an indifferent manner to Jamison about his football career and all the head shots he had taken over the years. But he knew his chances for having some brain damage were heightened because of it.
He was beginning to sense his anxiety levels edging up when he felt a hand on his arm.
He turned to see Zoe staring up at him.
He smiled at her innocent and trusting features, and the wave of panic that had been about to overwhelm him immediately receded.
“Did you tell him everything you wanted to?” he asked.
She nodded. “I think so. For now, anyway. But I’ll have more to tell Daddy on my next visit.”
Decker touched his chest. “Did you feel it here? All warm?”
Zoe nodded vigorously. “I did. Just like you said. And he did talk back to me. In my head.”
“I know it means a lot to him that you’re here. And he’ll always be with you, Zoe, your whole life. No matter where you go.”
“Because he’s really in here?” she said, touching her chest.
“Yes.”
“I wish he were here with me, like you are,” she said, her eyes suddenly becoming wide and watery.
“I wish Molly was with me right now too. But since they can’t be, we have to keep on living our lives for them. Do good things. Things they would be proud of, okay?”
Zoe nodded.
“Can we stay here for a little while, Amos? With my dad?”
“We can stay here for as long as you want, Zoe.”
When Zoe reached out and took his hand, Decker gripped it back.
In a way, he was holding on for dear life to the hand of a child.
Yet Decker had not felt such calm, such inner peace, for a very long time.
His time was consumed with hunting down those who committed bad acts, but Decker knew that evil would always be outweighed by the good.
Actually, he had to believe that, otherwise he wasn’t sure, like Kate Kemper, that he could continue to do his job.
Sometimes you just had to believe.
He let out a deep breath, and kept hold of Zoe’s hand.
And the little girl and the giant man sat there, while both life and death revolved around them.