hammering so viciously that it was making me lightheaded. But not wanting to let on that my heart was reacting so excitedly, I kept cool and gave a half-hearted shrug. “No, you can stay if you want.” He pressed his lips together, stifling a smile. “Sure. I don’t have anywhere else to be.”
What was with him and finding me humorous when I wasn’t trying to be?
He shucked off his jacket and slung it on the back of my computer chair. Then he pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and sat down backwards in the chair so that he was facing me.
I shoved my books out of the way and sat down on my bed. The music was still playing from when I’d been working on the report—“Ohio for Lovers” by Hawthorne Heights. The slow rhythm of the guitar over-took the silence as I struggled to come up with something to say. Being a lifetime loner, 176/695
I was completely clueless on how to strike up a conversation. Sure, Alex and I had spent some alone time together. But sitting here in my room with him felt different somehow, and I couldn’t seem to find any words to say to him. Perhaps it was because we were in my room.
Alone.
“So…” he finally said, breaking the silence, which was good because, waiting for me to speak first, we might have sat here forever. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and swayed it gently from side to side, “I know I’ve only been around you for a week or so, but it seems like you spend a heck of a lot of time by yourself.”
“I guess so,” I said.
“I didn’t mean that in a bad way or anything,” he quickly added. “I was just stating an observation… wondering why?”
“Wondering why I what? Why I spend my time alone?”
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He nodded. “I’m just curious.”
“I don’t know…” I trailed off. Honestly, I didn’t have an answer to give him. At least not one I could share without seeming like I belonged in a straitjacket. I picked at a loose string sticking up from my comforter. “It’s just how I’ve always been, I guess.”
“And it doesn’t bother you being by yourself all the time?”
I shrugged, staring at the floor. “Not really. Well, maybe lately it has a little.” The room quieted except for the low hum of the music. I heard the chair squeaked, and the next thing I knew, Alex was climbing off the chair and walking toward me. His hands were in his pockets, and the lack of uncertainty he carried looked out of place on him.
When he reached my bed, he slid the pile of books out of the way and sat down beside me. We were sitting so close to one another that the only thing between our knees was a 178/695
whisper of air. My head started buzzing as every single one of my nerves sparkled with electricity. I became hyperaware that Alex was sitting next to me on my bed. Holy crap.Never in a million years would I have thought that would ever happen.
“What do you think the sudden change came from?” he asked, continuing our conversation right where we’d left off.
I had to mentally prepare myself before I spoke, otherwise I would have stammered like an idiot. “I’m not sure.”
“So what? You just basically woke up one day and decided you wanted to have friends?”
Yeah….there was no way I was going to tell him the real reason—that part of the sudden change stemmed from his arrival. “I know it’s weird, isn’t it?”
“Not necessarily weird, but it is kind of interesting,” he said. “But I find you interesting all together.”
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I traced the circular pattern of the comforter with my finger, feeling extremely uncomfortable with so much of his attention fixed on me. “Trust me, there's nothing interesting about me.” I was kind of lying, I guess, if by interesting, he meant the stick-you-under-a-microscope-and-study-you kind of interesting.
“I think there is.” He paused, casting a brief glance at my computer as the song switched. “I mean for one thing, I find it interesting how long you put up with me being a complete jerk. Not a lot of people would’ve done that without getting mad and telling me off.”
“Oh trust me, I got mad.”
“Is that what you call it?” he teased.
“Hey,” I said defensively. “Need I remind you that you’re the one who said I have a temper on me?”
“Yeah, but it’s more entertaining than anything else.”
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I crossed my arms and stared him down, trying to look as tuff as I could. “Oh really.” He laughed. “Yeah really.” I sighed and dropped my arms onto my lap. I guess acting tuff wasn’t my forte.
A funny looked passed across his face, and then suddenly he was leaning in toward me. “You want to know another thing that makes you so interesting?” His low voice sent a shiver down my spine. “That you can feel this electricity thing between us but you won’t say anything about it.” I swear my heart actually stopped. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you do.” He leaned in closer to me. If he did it again, our heads would probably be touching. “You can trust me, you know. You can tell me anything.” As much as I wanted to believe that was true, I didn’t. Yes, he was being nice to me, but I hadn’t forgotten how he’d treated me in the beginning. Or about the strange 181/695
conversation I’d overheard between him and Aislin in the library.
He moved even closer. Our heads didn’t touch like I thought they would, but they were close. Oh God, we were so close.
“Gemma, I promise you can trust me.” Every inch of my body hummed, and my brain was getting foggy. Maybe I could trust him….
“Gemma! What are you doing?” Sophia’s sharp voice cut through my thoughts like a sharp knife, and it popped the tension between Alex and I like a needle to a balloon.
I turned around and found her standing in my doorway, her hand gripped so tightly around the door knob that her knuckles were paper white. I could only imagine how much this scene looked out of place to her.
Heck, it seemed out of place to me.
“Umm…this is Alex,” I told her, motioning at Alex. “We were just working on a project for school.”
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She narrowed her eyes at Alex. “Hello Alex.”
Oh, my God. This was so embarrassing.
Alex seemed fine, though. He held her gaze steadily, never wavering beneath the burn of Sophia’s glare.
Man, to have such confidence.
Sophia moved her eyes on me. “It’s time for dinner so you need to wrap it up and come down and eat.”
I stared confusedly at her. Eat dinner with them...What the—“Since when do I eat dinner with you guys?”
She looked like she wanted to strangle me. “Since now.”
“Fine,” I said, my tone clipped. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Well, hurry up. I don’t want the food to get cold.” She shot another death glare at Alex, and then stormed out of the room.
I turned back to Alex. “I’m so sorry.
She’s been kind of crazy lately.” 183/695
He laughed softly. “Yeah...I bet.” He got to his feet and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair. “Well, I should probably go. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay?” I nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
He put his jacket on and started for the door, but stopped in the doorway and turned around. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t find the words.
Finally, he just waved and walked out.
For a minute, I just sat there, feeling torn. Part of me felt relieved that he’d left because, if he’d stayed, I might have broken down and told him things I didn’t want him to know. I almost had until Sophia had walked in. The other part of me, though, wished he’d stayed; felt sad that he’d left.
I let out a sigh. When did life become so complicated?
I got up, shut my music off, and headed downstairs for “dinner.” Like I said, we never ate dinner together, and it was weird to 184/695
picture the three of us sitting around the table like a normal family. In fact, I couldn’t even picture it. It was that strange. But whatever. I guess I was about to find out firsthand was it was like to be part of a family.