in
Hawaii—unbearable
and
very
unpractical.
When I graduate here in a few months, I am so packing my bags and moving to some place warm and one-hundred percent mountain free.
Today, the normally poor road condi-tions were even worse due to the temp being five below and freezing everything in sight.
Yep, five below, I’m not kidding. Forced to drive at the pace of a snail, I managed to play through almost the entire CD of Taking Back Sunday—one of my all time favorite 23/695
bands—before arriving at school. I parked my car right as the bell shrilled from inside the school and reverberating its way outside.
I grabbed my bag, scrambled out of the car, and barreled across the ice-skating-of-a-rink parking lot. I wouldn’t have cared so much about being late, but over the last month I’d managed to run up a near record breaking amount of tardies.
As I reached the sidewalk, about ready to take off in a full-on sprint, I had to stop because the prickling sensation made an unan-nounced appearance on the back of my neck, poking at my skin like a tattoo needle. I held my breath and waited. Each experience was like opening up a present. I never knew what feeling was going to consume me. Or whether I’d like the feeling or want to exchange it for something else.
A few seconds ticked by, but no new feelings came. Well, except for the feeling that I wasn’t alone. Which I wasn’t. There were a 24/695
few people lurking out by their cars, and a girl in a neon pink coat was sprinting like mad for the glass entrance doors of the school. Obviously, she was trying not to be late, which was what I should have been doing. But I couldn’t get my stupid feet to budge, as if the soles of my pink and black DC shoes had melted their way to the sidewalk. And then, suddenly, I saw him; a guy, ambling across the parking lot as if he had all the time in the world.
My heart did this little fluttery thing that I’d never felt it do before. Whoa.Even from a distance, I could tell he was gorgeous; the way his dark brown hair scattered messily over his head, but in an intentionally-done-perfect kind of way. And his bright green eyes reminded me of clovers and flourishing springtime leaves. He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a black hoodie. I’d guess him to be tall, but I couldn’t say for sure unless I got closer to him. He had to be new here 25/695
because, if I’d seen him before, I probably would have remembered. No. Scratch that. I definitelywould have remembered him.
He didn’t seem to notice me at all, though. Which was kind of a good thing, I guess, since I was just standing there, staring at him idiotically as he made his way across the sidewalk and strolled past me.
The prickle showed up again, this time filling me with a very overpowering urge to run after him. And I had to admit, I probably would have too if the tardy bell hadn’t rang and knocked me out of my prickle-induced-gorgeous-guy trance.
I flinched and shook my head. What was I doing, standing out in the freezing cold, gawking at some random guy, when what I needed to be doing was getting my butt to class?
I rushed toward the entrance of the school, barely catching up with the new guy as he swung the door open. He stepped to 26/695
the side and held it open for me, very gentleman-like.
I
bit
my
bottom
lip
nervously as I walked by him. I swear my heart was hammering so loudly in my chest that he had to be able to hear it.
Okay, so I don’t know why I did the thing that I did next—it was very unlike me. I mean, I usually keep my head down and my eyes glued to the floor during school hours.
But when I suddenly felt compelled to look up at him, I actually did. And boy was I in for a real shock. And I’m not talking about the emotional kind of shock. I’m talking about a literal shock; a blaze of electricity that fired through my body like I’d stuck my finger in an electrical socket. I froze, my eyes widening. What the heck? Was I going insane? I had to be going insane. First the prickle and now this—what was wrong with me? If I wasn’t careful I was going to end up in a mental institution.
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I felt the zap again and let out a gasp.
The feeling momentarily took me away until I realized I was standing in the middle of the doorway, staring at the new guy with my mouth hanging open. I’d have been completely mortified too, except to my astonish-ment—and my relief—his bright green eyes had widened and were locked on mine, and it almost looked like he could feel the electricity too.
My pulse raced as sparks of static nipped at my skin. The more we stared at each other, the more the electricity ignited, and I could almost feel my skin melting. So many different feelings were pouring through me simultaneously,
confu-
sion…desire…intensity, I couldn’t think straight. I felt an invisible tug, drawing me to him, and before I even knew what I was doing, I took a step toward him.
Like a light switch, his expression slipped down into a glower. “Do you mind,” 28/695
he said, sidestepping around me and letting the heavy metal door slam painfully into my elbow.
“Ow,” I said, rubbing my arm. “What the heck?”
He shot me a glare and a different kind of intensity burned in those beautiful green eyes of his. Intense hatred. My mouth dropped open as I watched him turn his back on me and walk down the hall without another glance back.
Chapter 3
Never in my life had I ever had a crush before. Although I wasn’t even sure if what I was feeling toward the new guy signified as a crush. If a crush was something that could cause a strange mix of emotions to bubble up inside me and leave me incapable to stop thinking about the new guy and the weird electric sensation I’d felt when I was near him then, yep, I had a crush.
All during first and second period, I tried hard to process what had happened—what on earth that electric feeling could have been. But trying to make sense of it had gotten me nowhere. It was about as confusing as the prickle. And my newfound emotions.
And my reoccurring nightmare.
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Wow. My crazy list just keeps getting longer and longer, doesn’t it?
I was fairly spaced out for most of my morning classes, but like usual, I managed to get through them unnoticed. Which was a good thing, since I heard zero of what my teachers where talking about. I thought I’d eventually snap out of it, but even when third period rolled around, my brain was still lack-ing in the focus department, making me question if I was ever going to be able to think clearly again.
Why, you might be asking, did third period matter? Well, because third period was when I had astronomy, which was my favorite subject. Even during my emotionally detached days, I’d still been able to gaze up at the night sky, full of twinkling silver stars, and appreciate the beauty of the sight.
However, the way I look at stars now, and the way I looked at them before I could feel, were two entirely different experiences. Back 31/695
then, I felt like I’d been obligated to look up at them, as if some unseen force that I had no control over bounded me to do so.
Whereas now, I gazed up at them with a desire to…belong…or be part of them I guess would be the best way to describe the pull I felt toward them. The first time I’d ever felt happy—and I mean ever—was when I’d been lying in my bed, staring out my window, watching the stars shine harmoniously with one another. The prickle had shown up, and I unexpectedly found myself smiling. All this warmth and happiness started welling up inside me. The very next morning, when I entered the planetarium-style astronomy room, that same feeling of happiness filled me again. Ever since then, I always perk up when it is time to go to astronomy class.
Today however, I felt completely out of it, and summoning up any happiness seemed like it was going to be a challenge. There was just too much going on inside my head.
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I arrived to astronomy with plenty of time to spare, which was totally typical for me since I had no one to talk to between classes. I made my way up the stairs, to the very top of the mini planetarium, and sat down at my usual table, the one in the very far back corner where most of the loner kids tend to sit. I took my book out of my black messenger bag and hung it on the back of my chair. To kill some time—and to attempt to focus on something else besides the new guy, who I hadn’t seen since he’d let the door bang me in the elbow—I did a quick skim through of today’s chapter. It turned out to be a lame attempt, though, since all I ended up thinking about was how gorgeous he was, how much hatred his bright green eyes had carried when he’d walked away from me, and the electricity humming against my skin when I’d been near him. I swear I could still feel the sparkling sensation lingering on my skin.